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Top Headlines

Two weeks to flatten the curve. New Zealand Cops Arrest Men Entering Locked-Down City With Large Amounts of Illicit KFC "could face prison for up to six months or a fine of up to $4,000." (safe link) [dri]

Spectator World:

Since her vote to impeach Trump and her appointment by Speaker Pelosi to the January 6 Committee, she has, to my knowledge, made no publicized visits to the state, save to attend the funeral of former senator Mike Enzi a couple of months ago. Word has it that she does fly occasionally into Jackson (which is to Wyoming what the Hamptons are to upstate New York), where she spends her time with friends, benefactors and perhaps a Republican politician or two while sedulously avoiding the rest of the state, 70 percent of which voted for Donald Trump last November.

In brief, Liz Cheney is not Wyoming and never has been, even when it elected her to the House in 2016 owing chiefly to her party affiliation and incumbency.

Ford’s Theatre, where President Lincoln was murdered, and now operated by the National Park Service, sends out a woke tweet inviting Americans to question Lincoln’s legacy. "What do you think might be a more useful, more complex, or more realistic way to think about or memorialize the 16th president?" [Buck]

A view from the Rio Grande river near the Del Rio bridge
We are being invaded, and our government is encouraging it. [CBD]

lol, this Arab intellectual thinks that Rich Lowry is some super-duper hardcore conservative instead of yet another corporate-aligned shitlib with a specialized grift
Rich Lowry, the take-no-prisoners conservative who writes for... Politico.

Truth and satire are stranger than fiction. White House: 'We Must Continue Admitting Unvaccinated Immigrants To Replace All The Workers Who Got Fired For Being Unvaccinated' [Mis. Hum.]

National Review senior editor Jay Nordlinger on a liberal Republican leaving the party: " Mr. Gonzalez, who turns 37 on Saturday, was the sort of Republican recruit the party once prized." Yes. Exactly. Also, the GOP I knew would have adored Alexander Vindman, Marie Yovanovitch, and other such people.

Norm Macdonald talks about the real "bravery" of fighting cancer alone, without burdening others with it
He frequently mentioned this Richard Farnsworth actor, who appeared in The Straight Story. Farnsworth had terminal cancer but never told anyone about it. We now see why he was so frequently on Norm's mind.
In his last standup special, Norm made a joke about cancer which no one realized was about his own looming death.

It is nice to see an adult govern. Texas Gov. Abbot shuts down the border. What no more super spreaders coming in to suck off Uncle Sam's teat? [Mis. Hum.]

Norm Macdonald talking about his upcoming puppet act
Not as funny as I'd hoped. Premise 10, execution 7. In fairness, it seems like he just made this up off-the-cuff and then was surprised when he was later asked about it, so he just made up some more stuff off-the-cuff.

Meanwhile, the True Conservatives at National Review are, as usual, standing athwart the actual conservative movement yelling "Stop!" at it
They just love speech-policing those on the right, while making excuses for their friends, allies, and side-pieces on the left.

Anyone in Long Island or the nearby regions willing to adopt an adorable dog who's been in the shelter now for almost two years, and before that, was kept on a heavy chain outside?
Video of this cute little mutt

From commenter "Hogmartin," whose speech is clearly violence!
I'd give my eye teeth for that "Tax The Rich" dress!
[CBD]

PlutoTV currently has seasons 2 and 3 of Norm Macdonald Live on demand, as well as his great Netflix special, "Me Doing Standup." Just search for norm macdonald.

Norm Macdonald reading jokes on his show
One of his best bits was always forcing his co-host Adam to read the very, very worst jokes, and then making Adam sit there in embarrassed silence after the joke died
Two hours and twenty minutes of the best of Norm
How Norm lost his sponsorship for the grilling gadget "Mangrate"

Compilation of Norm Macdonald r*** jokes
Classic bit about Bill Cosby at 4:30

Flashback: Beavis and Butt-head "do" "I Kissed a Girl"
"I think this dude is checkin' you out, Beavis"

Norm Macdonald serial killer joke

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The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick

Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
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Top Top Tens

Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up

Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell

Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)