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Moron Meet-Ups
ColoradoMoMe 2020: 04/25/2020 Wheat Ridge CO 6:00pm
Contact Westminsterdogshow for information.

NoVaMoMe 2020: 05/09/2020 Fairfax, VA 5:00pm-10:00pm Registration is full.
Update: Still planned for May 9. We will email all registrants and update the signup web page if things change. Contact Bluebell & Weasel with questions.

The AoSHQ Amazon Store

Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Covid 19 and US Mortality Interesting but very, very preliminary analysis. [CBD]
New episode of Reno 911
I don't know if it's any good, I just stumbled across it.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
"The Queen of Corona"
I grew up watching the Harlem Globetrotters. Great show. RIP "Curly" Neal. [Mis. Hum.]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Come on, can't you do anything i want to do?/Lets dance, come on please, just once for me/I never get to do anything like this/You're such a drag, you know that?/Everything for you, everything for you, nothing for me, right/ What are we gonna do? go home and watch the super bowl/Re-runs of the mohammed ali uh marlene dietrich fight, what?
Bonus Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
They want you to tell/Them you love them/They're soft and/They're warm when you hug them
Lets all give a big hand to Brent and Alex, working hard through this deadly pandemic to make sure we all get our recommended daily allowance of profanity [Weirddave]
Husky mothers sick kitten back to health
Have you ever heard the observation that a dog will summon the neighbors if you fall unconscious at home, but a cat will just let you die and then eat your soft tissues? I don't know if this guy was trying to test that but he "faked his own death" (really, just fell motionless on the ground) in front of his dog and cat. Is the myth true? See for yourself.
Spoiler: The cat does try to "revive" his master... halfheartedly, and briefly. More of a "Check the Box" kind of effort than a real one. Then he fucks off to look for something to kill. It's less like he's trying to rescue his owner and more like he's just trying to establish a decent alibi for when the cops show up. Myth status: 75% true!
Playing three card monty with dog and cat
This guy plays a lot of very amusing games with his pets.
Good line: Ya Boy Zach is reviewing a comic written, he speculates, by someone who has no friends and spends all day online and watching TV. And who therefore thinks that real people talk the way people talk on twitter and on sitcoms. He then drops this great line: "This person seems like he grew up in a bomb shelter with only his parents' skeletons for company."
This extreme lack of socialization, with people who are PLAINLY friendless, childless shut-ins and who talk in real life the way people talk on Twitter -- all these fake Curated Personas stolen from other people on Twitter -- is such a huge and terrible marker of Current Year.
We need to make bullying not only acceptable again, but lauded as a character-building public service.
The Pandemic board game is being sold for scalper's prices by Amazon third-party vendors. It's usually $30. Now? $54 to $75.
Great game, though. Great noobie game, because the theme is fighting an pandemic, not something gayballz about dragons and trolls or Space Marines or Klingons or whatever. People are less suspicious that you're trying to trick them into a game of Dungeons & Dragons. But don't buy it at those prices!
Good game for a family, too, as you're all on the same side, and parents can help young kids out with their moves.
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Hint: Guitar riff that is meant to sound like gamma rays going through the listener.
118 Brett Kavanaugh raped me.
Posted by: The Coronavirus
Today Is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day.
Did John McCain Funeral Memorial Day sneak up on you? Well, there's a simple mnemonic device for remembering what day is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day, which goes like this: Every Dog Is Jolly Monday through Friday Most Diligently, which of course stands for, Every Day Is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day.
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Bloggers in Arms
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)