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Aceapalooza West | Main | Football Picks Are a Distraction From the *Real* Issues in Iraq
October 27, 2007

Scientist: Mankind Will Evove Into Two Separate Species, Supermen And Goblins

They'll be very popular, as Igor observed.

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

Awesome.

100,000 years you say?

I'll try to cut down on triglycerides.

But honestly, this guy sounds like he's obsessed with The Time Machine and Dr. Strangelove.

Thanks to... lots of people.


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posted by Ace at 03:08 AM

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