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May 26, 2004

"Spanky the Clown" Arrested for Child Porn

Ringling Bros. clown "Spanky" has been arrested for 10 counts of exploitation of a minor, due to having photos of children having sex.

The cops' first tip-off that he might be engaging in child porn?

That his name was "Spanky the Clown."

Second tip-off? That he looked like this:

Top Ten Signs A Clown Might Have Gone Bad

10. Big red floppy boots only partially hide electronic tracking-bracelet on ankle

9. His big "Fun-Time Happy-Land Activity" at children's parties is a game he calls "Wash My Dirty Feet"

8. His "clown make-up" just looks suspiciously like White-Supremacist prison tattoos

7. Says he can't bring his famous puppets, as they're currently being examined by the police for hair and fiber evidence

6. An hour of his "show" consists of him reading the racing forms

5. While making balloon animals, repeatedly makes inappropriate
references to "the so-called Holocaust"

4. Says that Pin the Tail on the Donkey is no longer part of his act, "just to conform with the court order"

3. Every time you leave the room, you hear him trying to sell your children some "sweet" Utah real estate

2. Says he'd prefer to be paid in cash, and/or "weed"

... and the number one sign a clown might have gone bad...

1. Is mentioned in Washintonienne's sex diary under the alias "Funnybone"


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posted by Ace at 01:30 PM

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