|
||
Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! ![]() ![]() ![]() Recent Entries
Wednesday Overnight Open Thread (3/29/23)
Naughty Cupid Cafe The Biden Administration Will be Moving Against Air Conditioning Next Alexandria Donkey-Chompers: Don't Ban TikTok Unrelated: TikTok's Parent Company Makes Big Donation to Democrat Black and Hispanic Congressional Caucuses Disney Fires Trump Supporting Republican Ike Perlmutter, Who Was Aligned with Nelson Peltz Biden's Dementia Is Accelerating A Day After a Trans Terrorist Kills Christian Children, Katie Hobbs' Spokeswoman Urges "Us" to Kill All the Transphobes NBC: The Trans Community Is the Real Victim Here James O'Keefe: ActBlue Is Claiming That Seniors of Modest Means Are Donating Up to $200,000 Per Year, Per Person, To Democrats. Is This Money-Laundering? Trans Extremists: Audrey Hale Struck a Blow for Trans Rights Wednesday Morning Rant [Joe Mannix] Absent Friends
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 Cutting The Cord And Email Security
NoVaMoMe 2023:
06/10/2023
Details to follow |
« The Guys Get Shorts |
Main
| The Ace of Spades HQ Manual of Modern English Usage »
May 11, 2004
al-Zarqawi Apologizes for Beheading American Civilian Prisoner"This is not representative of the values of the Islam I know," he says as he cuts man's throat Anmesty International Vows a Vigorous Inquiry Into the Outrage; The International Red Cross Alleges, "We warned the world about the abuses of Muslim/Arab terorists last winter" W A S H I N G T O N -- Horrified by the "disgusting" images of a defenseless American prisoner having his head cut off on videotape, Arab and Muslim leaders throughout the world went on Al Jazeera to apologize for the "abhorrent" abuse. "I am sickened by the images I saw," said Bashar Assad of Syria. "I want to know precisely who is responsible for the failure in command here. And I don't care how high up the chain of command we have to go for justice." The Muslim-American advocacy group CAIR immediately sprang to make no arguments of moral equivalency of any kind. "This is simply unacceptable behavior," a spokesman said. "This is barbarous. This is vicious. This is not merely anti-Islam, but more importantly, it's anti-human." Extremist Muslims throughout the world immediately downloaded the graphically violent images, and then did not sing out "Allah is Great, he has given us this great victory over the infidels" a single time. "Political disagreements are one thing," said an extremist Muslim Imam living on the British government's dime in London. "The Israel-Palestinian dispute is another thing. But if we are to call ourselves human, to call ourselves men of genuine honor, there are certain standards of simple decency that must be observed and can never be compromised, no matter how angry someone might be." Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasser Arafat immediately went on the air to deliver a forty-minute long speech denouncing the "cruel and shameful act" and cautioning Muslims that "we must make more effort to live up to the great ideals of our religion and our traditions." His full-throated condemnation of the murder, occasionally requiring him to take a break in order to compose himself and wipe away his tears, consipicuously did not include any attempts to minimize or mitigate the atrocity by invoking "Zionism" or "Muslim humiliation." Left-wing newspapers throughout Europe immediately ran the disturbing photos of the butchery with headlines uncompromising and unstinting in their condemnation of the savagery. The Hidden Face of Evil blared Le Monde. The leftist press vowed to treat this violation with all of the intensity it had treated the revelations of the mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners by Americans. "Politics is politics," said a senior editor at The Guardian (UK). "But politics must never, under any circumstances, lessen our desire to condemn inhumanity." Even ABCNews' anchorman Peter Jennings was philosophical about the animalistic act. "Simple depravity is inexcusable under any context," he said. "This outrage certainly puts the Iraqi prisoner abuse story in context. ABCNews will henceforth better endeavor to keep a sense of proportion when reporting certain stories, even when reporting those stories we believe can be used politically against the American military or to Republican administrations." New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd appeared visibly shaken after witnessing the brutal act. "It certainly reminds us of what the real issues are in the world today," she said. "This is a serious time, and it demands serious thought and yes, sometimes serious actions. I'll be putting aside my typical cutesy word-play and girlish name-calling in order to devote my column to exposing the viciousness and barbarity of the animals who have declared war on civilization itself." Left-wing blogger TheDailyKos simply put up a stark image of the beheading and refrained from posting for the entire day. "I just felt there was no need for words," he said. "There are no words. This man was decapitated for simply attempting to bring the benefits of technology to the world's poor. He was a mercenary-- a Mercenary in the Army of Humanity." Cartoonist Ted Rall announced that he "had no plans at the moment" to draw a cartoon making light of the man's death, or savaging his family's public reaction to the tragedy. "That's sooooo 2002," he said. "I'm above that." Campaigning in Missouri, Democratic nominee John Kerry shared his outrage for the crime and his sympathy for Mr. Berg's family. He made no effort to claim that the butchery was due to George Bush's "reckless and arrogant" foreign policy, or that the killers would have been mollified had the Coalition included French troops. "Politics stops at the knife's edge," a Kerry aide said, seething with fury not at his fellow countrymen who oppose his political agenda, but rather at the Al Qaeda terrorists who threaten our very lives. In related news, engineers at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that they had successfully granted a 200-pound sow the power of flight. "We just grafted four pairs of condor wings on to the pig," said Henry Fields, project manager of the Winged Wilbur project. "You should see that pig fly. It's something to behold, I'll tell you. And we're going to need flying pig technology in the future, given the widespread effects of global environmental change. The latest reports of the temperatures plummeting in Hell should be a warning to us all." | Recent Comments
Alberta Oil Peon:
"Pooter lol. Going to be subvocalizing that all dam ..."
Helpful Hints: "[i]I can assure you Nashville is in no fucking moo ..." Aetius451AD Work Laptop: "Watching 'By Dawn's Early Light'. Whole damn thing ..." Blanco Basura - Z28.310: "[i]Sorry I just got here - also I'm not that brigh ..." A face in the crowd.....: "As predicted, the Dems (in the person of the hags ..." Jim[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "[i]..There's a university in Florida needs some of ..." Helpful Hints: "[i]It doesn't matter if they are the ones doing th ..." ...: "You quoted what I was quoting, not my response. ..." Thesokorus: "Pooter lol. Going to be subvocalizing that all dam ..." AlaBAMA : "They won't do it in Nashville. God help them if th ..." ...: "As predicted, the Dems (in the person of the hags ..." NISTdot gov: office chairs, not jet fuel or impact, caused perfect simultaneous collapse of WTC7: "If these idiots go marching around Saturday with r ..." Recent Entries
Wednesday Overnight Open Thread (3/29/23)
Naughty Cupid Cafe The Biden Administration Will be Moving Against Air Conditioning Next Alexandria Donkey-Chompers: Don't Ban TikTok Unrelated: TikTok's Parent Company Makes Big Donation to Democrat Black and Hispanic Congressional Caucuses Disney Fires Trump Supporting Republican Ike Perlmutter, Who Was Aligned with Nelson Peltz Biden's Dementia Is Accelerating A Day After a Trans Terrorist Kills Christian Children, Katie Hobbs' Spokeswoman Urges "Us" to Kill All the Transphobes NBC: The Trans Community Is the Real Victim Here James O'Keefe: ActBlue Is Claiming That Seniors of Modest Means Are Donating Up to $200,000 Per Year, Per Person, To Democrats. Is This Money-Laundering? Trans Extremists: Audrey Hale Struck a Blow for Trans Rights Wednesday Morning Rant [Joe Mannix] Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |