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June 16, 2004

Today's Top Ten

Well, Clinton's Secretary of Labor Robert "This isn't necessarily a baguette" Reich just posed nude for a calendar. I hear that other liberals will be joining in this so-called "Erotic Initiative" to titilate swing voters.

Top Ten Other Forays of Democrats Into Tasteful Erotica

10. Janet Reno's combination erotic newsletter-slash-trap-shooter's bible

9. An audio book of all the dirty parts from Tropic of Cancer, as seductively read by Susan Estrich

8. The Illustrated Guide to Erotic Body-Painting, by the editors of Penthouse Magazine (with an introduction by Paul Krugman)

7. Foggy Bottoms: The Sensual Anal Erotica of Madeleine Albright

6. Joycelyn Elders makes a surprise cameo on Sesame Street and joins Elmo and Snuffaluffagus to sing pro-masturbation song, Ain't Nothing Borin' About a Little Exlporin'

5. Chris Lehane applies for a job as Erotic Advice Columnist for Salon magazine; fails to get the job due to his difficulty in defining and explaining the term "vaginal sex"

4. Michael Moore and The Playboy Advisor team up to present a "sexy" video exploring "all facets" of male sexuality, tentatively titled Dude, Where's My Prostate?

3. Four words: Live! Nude! Paul Begala!

2. Old Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'd like a to meet a vibrant, attractive woman whom I can court, marry, and then grow old with
New Dennis Kucinich campaign schtick: I'll settle for someone with at least twenty teeth and 8-12 toes

...and the Number One Upcoming Foray of Democrats into Erotica...

1. My Life: The Autobiography of Bill Clinton

Correction! Rubber Glove pointed out that I spelled "prostate" wrong.


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posted by Ace at 12:48 PM

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