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May 07, 2004

Today's Top Ten

Some people love potatoes. Some people could take them or leave them. Some people don't like potatoes much at all.

And then some people despise potatoes so passionately they malign them in the most venomous, hateful terms. An entire "subculture of hate" has sprung up in opposition to the innocent, humble tater. Committed "tater-haters" spread their venom in order to undermine what they call "the Spud Agenda."

Top Ten Disparaging Terms for Potatoes, By People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes

10. "The Irish Scourge"

9. "The Predatory Pedophiles of the Plant Kingdom"

8. "Idaho turdmuffins"

7. "Hitler-tubers" (archaic form: "Kaiser-tubers")

6. "Satan's Yams"

5. "Dirt-Testes"

4. "Insidious, Godless Commuspuds"

3. "Nature's Little Zionists"

2. "Dirtbacks" (considered a racial slur against potatoes)

â€¦and the Number One Disparaging Term for Potatoes, by People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoesâ€¦

1. "Retard-apples"

Update: For those who wanted a Top 10 Bush-Apology List, Protein Wisdom has stepped up and provided the leadership this country needs.

Unfortunately for us, he drops a Billy Squier reference, which really steams our beans because we now realize how desperately we wanted to make such a reference ourselves. On the plus side, he links Billy's site, and if you follow that link you get to hear some snippets of a couple of Billy Squier's songs. But not, alas, "In the Dark."

Damn. We forgot how much we love Billy Squier.

posted by Ace at 01:21 PM

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Top Ten Disparaging Terms for Potatoes, By People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoes 10. "The Irish Scourge" 9. "The Predatory Pedophiles of the Plant Kingdom" 8. "Idaho turdmuffins" 7. "Hitler-tubers" (archaic form: "Kaiser-tubers") 6. "Satan's Yams" 5. "Dirt-Testes" 4. "Insidious, Godless Commuspuds" 3. "Nature's Little Zionists" 2. "Dirtbacks" (considered a racial slur against potatoes) â€¦and the Number One Disparaging Term for Potatoes, by People Who Really, Really Hate Potatoesâ€¦ 1. "Retard-apples" Update: For those who wanted a Top 10 Bush-Apology List, Protein Wisdom has stepped up and provided the leadership this country needs. Unfortunately for us, he drops a Billy Squier reference, which really steams our beans because we now realize how desperately we wanted to make such a reference ourselves. On the plus side, he links Billy's site, and if you follow that link you get to hear some snippets of a couple of Billy Squier's songs. But not, alas, "In the Dark." Damn. We forgot how much we love Billy Squier. posted by Ace at 01:21 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Skip : "G'Day everyone ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "Altera? Wasn't that Anne Francis's role in [i]For ..." 13times: "The reasoning behind the Finns joining the Germans ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "Well, whaddaya know! Evening and morning to all y ..." Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "First? ..." 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