Ace of Spades HQ

« Balky Connection to Mu.Nu | Main | The President's Words on Saddam Hussein »

May 20, 2004

Today's Top Ten

Iraqis claim that air-attack on "wedding party" kills 40 innocents.

US disputes Iraqi claim of attack on wedding party, calling it an attack on a safe house and warehouse used by terrorist insurgents; weapons, foreign passports, and sophisticated commuication devices recovered from the targeted building.

Top Ten Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"

10. Dress is strictly black-tie and black-bandana facial mask

9. Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..."

8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah

7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror

6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nomme de guerre

5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders"

4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency

3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles

2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas

...and the Number One Sign You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"...

1. The groom sports the traditional Iraqi handlebar moustache, as does the bride

posted by Ace at 12:36 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Festivus Monday Overnight Open Thread - December 23, 2024 [Doof] I Can't Believe It's Not Christmas Yet Cafe Bill Clinton In Hospital After Coming Down with Fever Update: Illness Diagnosed as Thicc White Girl Fever House Ethics Report Places Matt Gaetz on "Naughty" List Daily Mail: "Depressed" Joe Biden is Being Encouraged by "Vengeful" Doktor Jill Biden to "Burn the Whole Thing Down" as Payback for Coup Congresswoman With Advanced Dementia Has Been Living in a Memory Care Home For Six Months and Hasn't Attended Congress or Cast a Vote In All That Time; Corrupt DC Media and Political Class Knew All About This, But Hid It From Citizens Focus Group Says That Democrats Are Weak and Overly Focused on "Diversity" and Other "Elite" Luxury Concerns Like Endless Gender Transitions for Children Drunk, Insane Illegal Alien Sets Woman On Fire in NYC Subway, Burning Her to Death Biden Commutes the Sentences of Almost All Federal Convicts on Death Row THE MORNING RANT: America’s Gerontocracy – AWOL Texas Congresswoman Found Living in Memory Care Facility Absent Friends Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups	« Balky Connection to Mu.Nu \| Main \| The President's Words on Saddam Hussein » May 20, 2004 Today's Top Ten Iraqis claim that air-attack on "wedding party" kills 40 innocents. US disputes Iraqi claim of attack on wedding party, calling it an attack on a safe house and warehouse used by terrorist insurgents; weapons, foreign passports, and sophisticated commuication devices recovered from the targeted building. Top Ten Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" 10. Dress is strictly black-tie and black-bandana facial mask 9. Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..." 8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah 7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror 6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nomme de guerre 5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders" 4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency 3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles 2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas ...and the Number One Sign You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"... 1. The groom sports the traditional Iraqi handlebar moustache, as does the bride posted by Ace at 12:36 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "DoofONT ..." Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ : "Dinner time. ..." Duke Lowell : "That top pic looks an awful lot like Gary, Indiana ..." Deplorable Minion: "ButI have evrything already ..." Doof: "[i]You know this will go on your permanent record! ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "You know this will go on your permanent record! ..." Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "For the restivus! ..." Dr. Claw: "234 'DMSO Then there is Gloria Ramirez' Tha ..." Ian S.: "Excerpt from a Buzz Patterson post on X: [I]The ..." CharlieBrown'sDildo: "McKenna 10 Year. ..." Ben Had: "Blood libels never seem to go out of season. ..." Ciampino - cheap at the prices: "324 10 minute ONT warning! Posted by: Piper at ..." Recent Entries Festivus Monday Overnight Open Thread - December 23, 2024 [Doof] I Can't Believe It's Not Christmas Yet Cafe Bill Clinton In Hospital After Coming Down with Fever Update: Illness Diagnosed as Thicc White Girl Fever House Ethics Report Places Matt Gaetz on "Naughty" List Daily Mail: "Depressed" Joe Biden is Being Encouraged by "Vengeful" Doktor Jill Biden to "Burn the Whole Thing Down" as Payback for Coup Congresswoman With Advanced Dementia Has Been Living in a Memory Care Home For Six Months and Hasn't Attended Congress or Cast a Vote In All That Time; Corrupt DC Media and Political Class Knew All About This, But Hid It From Citizens Focus Group Says That Democrats Are Weak and Overly Focused on "Diversity" and Other "Elite" Luxury Concerns Like Endless Gender Transitions for Children Drunk, Insane Illegal Alien Sets Woman On Fire in NYC Subway, Burning Her to Death Biden Commutes the Sentences of Almost All Federal Convicts on Death Row THE MORNING RANT: America’s Gerontocracy – AWOL Texas Congresswoman Found Living in Memory Care Facility Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64