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May 20, 2004

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Iraqis claim that air-attack on "wedding party" kills 40 innocents.

US disputes Iraqi claim of attack on wedding party, calling it an attack on a safe house and warehouse used by terrorist insurgents; weapons, foreign passports, and sophisticated commuication devices recovered from the targeted building.

Top Ten Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"

10. Dress is strictly black-tie and black-bandana facial mask

9. Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..."

8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah

7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror

6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nomme de guerre

5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders"

4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency

3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles

2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas

...and the Number One Sign You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"...

1. The groom sports the traditional Iraqi handlebar moustache, as does the bride


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