An Email From Bobby Calvan

Deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that phone, you need me on that phone.

We use words like voicemail, PIN code, caller ID. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the cell-minutes nor the bars to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "press 1 for English," and went on your way.

Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Razr, and text a post.

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

"Did you order that room service?"

"YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT I ORDERED IT!"

Perhaps we should stop this. The witness has rights.

I so totally wanted to write that. Thankfully Cuffy Meigs was on the ball and did it first.

Bonus! Though Bobby C. Calvan courageously deleted his own blog, Double Plus Ungood managed to grab a part of the cached version. Click for more True Tales of Telephonic Terror -- if you dare.

posted by Ace at 02:03 PM

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