Steve "who?" Schmidt: "Can't help thinking how incredibly proud Governor Mario Cuomo must be looking down at Governor Andrew Cuomo. His leadership in this deadly crisis is spectacular. He is meeting this moment and displaying the qualities that have always defined America's greatest leaders."
Cux now c*kking for Cuomo. Didn't the cux yell and scream that the Democrat Party must nominate Biden? And now the lemmings are stampeding to Cuomo.

Snake Juice Diet guy has a cure for coronavirus: drinking your own urine
"Urine looping." It goes in, it goes out, it goes back in.
Um, yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say "No"
I'm starting to think that this Snake Juice Diet guy might be some kind of loose cannon hothead

The soyworm who wrote the Safespace & Snowflake comic had previously been a "geek seeking love" on Millionaire Matchmaker. It's cringey. It is what you're expecting. Starts at 3:10 or so.
This seems like a scripted show. It seems like he's playing a role. But I imagine they cast him because he was just a natural at playing a sub-beta simp. It's the episode "The Prince and I" (available, but costs money).

Covid 19 and US Mortality Interesting but very, very preliminary analysis. [CBD]

New episode of Reno 911
I don't know if it's any good, I just stumbled across it.

Former OK senator Tom Coburn succumbs to cancer. RIP. [Mis. Hum.]

Critical Drinker reviews Star Trek Picard: It's full of twats

Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
"The Queen of Corona"

I grew up watching the Harlem Globetrotters. Great show. RIP "Curly" Neal. [Mis. Hum.]

Bad News: This German Shepherd has the dwarfism gene and will never be much bigger than a cat/Good News: SO CUTE!

This parody of Cable News Panic-Mongers is barely even a parody. This is what Cable News really is.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Come on, can't you do anything i want to do?/Lets dance, come on please, just once for me/I never get to do anything like this/You're such a drag, you know that?/Everything for you, everything for you, nothing for me, right/ What are we gonna do? go home and watch the super bowl/Re-runs of the mohammed ali uh marlene dietrich fight, what?
Bonus Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
They want you to tell/Them you love them/They're soft and/They're warm when you hug them

Lets all give a big hand to Brent and Alex, working hard through this deadly pandemic to make sure we all get our recommended daily allowance of profanity [Weirddave]

Husky mothers sick kitten back to health
Have you ever heard the observation that a dog will summon the neighbors if you fall unconscious at home, but a cat will just let you die and then eat your soft tissues? I don't know if this guy was trying to test that but he "faked his own death" (really, just fell motionless on the ground) in front of his dog and cat. Is the myth true? See for yourself.
Spoiler: The cat does try to "revive" his master... halfheartedly, and briefly. More of a "Check the Box" kind of effort than a real one. Then he fucks off to look for something to kill. It's less like he's trying to rescue his owner and more like he's just trying to establish a decent alibi for when the cops show up. Myth status: 75% true!
Playing three card monty with dog and cat
This guy plays a lot of very amusing games with his pets.

Good line: Ya Boy Zach is reviewing a comic written, he speculates, by someone who has no friends and spends all day online and watching TV. And who therefore thinks that real people talk the way people talk on twitter and on sitcoms. He then drops this great line: "This person seems like he grew up in a bomb shelter with only his parents' skeletons for company."
This extreme lack of socialization, with people who are PLAINLY friendless, childless shut-ins and who talk in real life the way people talk on Twitter -- all these fake Curated Personas stolen from other people on Twitter -- is such a huge and terrible marker of Current Year.
We need to make bullying not only acceptable again, but lauded as a character-building public service.

Feeling down? A bit disconnected from the comforting rhythms of real life? Well, solvitur ambulando!

The Pandemic board game is being sold for scalper's prices by Amazon third-party vendors. It's usually $30. Now? $54 to $75.
Great game, though. Great noobie game, because the theme is fighting an pandemic, not something gayballz about dragons and trolls or Space Marines or Klingons or whatever. People are less suspicious that you're trying to trick them into a game of Dungeons & Dragons. But don't buy it at those prices!
Good game for a family, too, as you're all on the same side, and parents can help young kids out with their moves.

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
Hint: Guitar riff that is meant to sound like gamma rays going through the listener.

118 Brett Kavanaugh raped me.
Posted by: The Coronavirus

Today Is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day.
Did John McCain Funeral Memorial Day sneak up on you? Well, there's a simple mnemonic device for remembering what day is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day, which goes like this: Every Dog Is Jolly Monday through Friday Most Diligently, which of course stands for, Every Day Is John McCain Funeral Memorial Day.