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April 25, 2005

Shock: Hollywood Actress Blames 9/11 On U.S.

Why don't you all take a minute to try to process that headline?

I realize the words don't seem to make sense when used together like that, but just sound your way through it.

Recovered? Getting over the cognitive dissonance? Good. We can continue:

Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal, star of a new flick about the aftermath of 9/11, believes the United States "is responsible in some way" for the devastating terror attacks.


"I think what's good about the [9-11 themed movie she's promoting] is that it deals with 9/11 in such a subtle, open way that I think it allows it to be more complicated than just, 'Oh, look at these poor New Yorkers and how hard it was for them,'" Gyllenhaal told the NY1 cable channel.

Yes... you want to be more "subtle" than that, certainly.

Those firemen who died in the ensuing collapse... dirty whores. They knew what they were getting into. Look at how they were dressed.

"Because I think America has done reprehensible things and is responsible in some way and so I think the delicacy with which it's dealt allows that to sort of creep in," she added.

Prediction: Ask this stupid bint to name one of those "reprehensible" things and she'll stare at you like a chicken asked to explain quantum mechanics.

Give her enough time, and she'll maybe manage to come up with "Guatemala," and when you ask, "What about Guatemala?," she'll run out the door crying that you're "oppressing" her.

A lower East Side native, Gyllenhaal's new film focuses on a handful of New Yorkers coping with their pain about a year after the Sept. 11, 2001, terror strike.

Ahhhh... well it's not like she lives near the site of the greatest mass-murder in human history. One can forgive her, for, living seven or eight blocks away, she really can't comprehend the scale of the tragedy we suffered that day.

Thanks to My Pet Jawa, but I just linked him, so I'll link the guy he got it from, Say Anything, who has a picture of this... specimen.

Kinda cute but stupid as a box of Nilla wafers.

Update: Maggie Gyllenlyllenhalllenlyl, whatever, the girl who James Spader spanks in Secretary, is one of "world's best and most creative minds" and will be featured on the gangblog started by Arianna Huffington, who I'm told can speak in unaccented English but chooses to speak like a Gabor sister because her PR people informed her that, without the accent, she "just wasn't fucking annoying enough."

Wow... I haven't been this excited about a "supergroup" since Northern Lights, Canada's answer to USA For Africa.

There were four people in the group: Bryan Adams, Anne Murray, Gordon Lightfoot, and also Bryan Adams (on guitar and background vocals).

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posted by Ace at 06:11 PM

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