Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries
Dave Reaboi: Why Did the Left Tell Antifa To Stand Down After Trump's Victory?
"Showbiz Source:" George Clooney "Fuming" That Barack Obama "Manipulated" Him Into Calling for Biden's Ouster So That Our First Homosexual President Could Keep His Hands Clean Demented Liar Joe Biden Pardons His Spree Criminal Son After Years of Vowing He Would Never Do So Because He Trusts the Judiciary and Wants to Uphold Norms THE MORNING RANT – Periodic Roundup of the EV Follies [12/02/2024] Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/2/24 Daily Tech News 2 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread (12/1/24) - Doof Gun Thread: El Firsto of Decembero (The First December) Edition! FOOD THREAD – Sunday 12/01/2024 Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« Gay Rumor! Of the Day! |
Main
| Dianne Feinstein Awarded Gay Award... For Causing Most Harm to Gay-Rights Movement »
April 08, 2005
Shock! A Repost! You've Gotta Be Kidding Me!I've hated Wonkette for a long time! So long, in fact, that I once became "Wankette," and sought (futilely) the fame and fortune (errr...) that Wonkette had achieved. The Wankette Gay Rumors Du Jour! Determined to one day be called "funny and sharp" by former Washington Post gossiper Lloyd Grove, I boldy follow Wonkette's lead and will begin trafficking in gay-rumors that I just made up. Credit must be given to my male interens Nicholas and Troi, who assisted me in making up these gay rumors. I'm hoping to win a Polk Award.
Bill Parcells Occupation: Much-traveled NFL coach. Why He Might Be Gay: He's currently the coach of the Dallas "Cowboys," which must be the gayest team-nickname in the NFL, and will remain so in the foreseeable future, at least until the P-town Public Rest-Room Gay Hustlers become a franchise in 2008. Plus, New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey called him a "homo," and I'm inclined to believe pretty much anything Jeremy Shockey tells me. Why He Might Not Be Gay: Just look at him. Rosie O'Donnell Occupation: Unfunny spherical comedian who began her undeservedly well-compensated career simply reciting Jerry Seinfeld's act without attribution. Why She Might Be Gay: I don't know. It's just a sort of vibe I get from her. Why She Might Not Be Gay: She seems to really dig Tom Cruise. She's always calling him "cutie patootie" and stuff, so she seems to dig on the dorkmeat. Plus, I hear she has a kid.
Joshua Micah Marshall Occupation: Hyperpartisan hack; Impressario at his local Starbucks. Why He Might Be Gay: Just look at him. Plus, in my experience, the more insistent you are on being called by your full given name ("Michael," "Thomas," "Stephen," "Christopher," etc.), the more likely you are to occasionally enjoy the pleasures of the ol' trouser-safari. Someone who announces at the top of his website that his name is not "Josh Marshall," but rather "Joshua Micah Marshall," would seem to be telling the world "I am proud, I am fabulous, and I don't much care who knows it." Why He Might Not Be Gay: He's chubby. Now, don't get me wrong. There are lots of fat gay men. But not a lot of chubby gay men. Seems to me that if you're gay, and you're just twenty or thirty pounds from being not-chubby, you expend the time and effort to drop that weight like a bad habit (such as vaginal sex). Joshua Micah Marshall seems to be disinclined to do any crunches or spend any time at all working on his lats. The fact that his dumper is bigger than the average kindergarten-teacher's is strong evidence for his heterosexual credentials. Wonkette Occupation: Internet Skank; procuress. Why She Might Be Gay: Posed for faux-lesbian shots with fellow cyberwhore Jennifer Cutler. Why She Might Not Be Gay: The faux-lesbian thing is pretty common among marginally-attractive non-lesbians looking for attention to which their looks wouldn't otherwise entitle them. There's a well-known rule that the minute two sixes start making out with each other, they become a pair of eights. Plus, few lesbians are that into gay-male culture. That's definitely a straight white liberal woman thing. Not even gay dudes are as into gay crap as straight white liberal women. Even gay dudes are like, "Hey, ix-ne on the ag-fay all the ime-tay, okay?" Boba Fett Occupation: Bounty Hunter Why He Might Be Gay: Wears a cape; carries around a lot of futuristic BDS&M equipment; calls his ship, which is shaped like an iron, the Slave One; collects funky metal sculptures of handsome men; is known to be a "dedicated bachelor." Why He Might Not Be Gay: If you watch the eyeslits of his helmet, he occasionally looks at Princess Leia's metal bikini on Jabba's pleasure-barge. But I don't know how to interpret that Is he thinking, "Tight little unit, there," or is he thinking, "She thinks she's all Little Miss Thing, but she ain't"? It's a hard one to call. Allah Update: Allah sends along this pic of Joshua Micah Christopher-Nicholas Stephan (prounouced "Steffan") Michael Pierre Tavington-Cavendish Marshall: Okay, I admit it: Probably not gay. I'm the straightest, sloppiest, filthiest guy I know, and even I don't go out into public looking like that. OTOH: Troi says the stubble might be a "beard." Troi is always making funny puns like that. He's incorrigible. . He does this impersonation of Samantha from Sex & the City that is just absolutely precious... He keeps me in stitches. Stitches, I tell you. Bad Timing Insensitivity Update: JHF informs me that Mrs. Clift's husband died recently. I didn't know that. I have omitted the bit about her from the piece. | Recent Comments
rickb223 Gold & Silver Spot Prices [s][/b][/i][/u]:
""S.O." I'm pretty sure it was Esso and other varia ..."
Joe Biden: " It's good to be da' King! ..." Tex Lovera: "Enco and Esso were the same company. In Texas and ..." runner: "OT, I foresee progress with hostage negotiations a ..." Smellslikevictory: "Remember, a key to understand about Obama is that ..." naturalfake: " Apparently, George Clooney was never a 5 year ol ..." Romeo13: "Damn, so I experienced the depression and WW2 firs ..." IC - Cope Harder, Liberals: "Trump wants Hamas to release prisoners before he t ..." rickb223 Gold & Silver Spot Prices [s][/b][/i][/u]: "Was chatting once with a Brazilian army colonel an ..." Truck Monkey: "esso was short for standard oil (?) Posted by: so ..." AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna: "[i]"People change their minds. People's hearts mov ..." Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM)[/b][/i][/s][/u]: "[i] Remember, a key to understand about Obama is ..." Recent Entries
Dave Reaboi: Why Did the Left Tell Antifa To Stand Down After Trump's Victory?
"Showbiz Source:" George Clooney "Fuming" That Barack Obama "Manipulated" Him Into Calling for Biden's Ouster So That Our First Homosexual President Could Keep His Hands Clean Demented Liar Joe Biden Pardons His Spree Criminal Son After Years of Vowing He Would Never Do So Because He Trusts the Judiciary and Wants to Uphold Norms THE MORNING RANT – Periodic Roundup of the EV Follies [12/02/2024] Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/2/24 Daily Tech News 2 December 2024 Sunday Overnight Open Thread (12/1/24) - Doof Gun Thread: El Firsto of Decembero (The First December) Edition! FOOD THREAD – Sunday 12/01/2024 Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |