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Daily Tech News 13 March 2025
Wednesday Overnight Open Thread - March 12, 2025 [TRex] Good Boys With Toys Cafe Quick Hits Kash Patel Announces the Prosecution of a "Director Level" CBP Employee Who Defrauded the Federal Government of FEMA Funds and Lied to Federal Agents FBI Scientist Explains Why American Intelligence Now Favors the Lab Leak Theory (and In Fact Always Did) NYT Fires Half of Its Editorial Staff Trump To Lay Off 1,300 Department of Education Layabouts and Slapdicks, Cutting Staff by Nearly Half Politico: Internal Democrat Polling Shows "Massive Branding Problem" Inflation Is Cut By More Than Half In Trump's First Month In Office Absent Friends
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April 06, 2005
Yet Another Call From AceACE: Yo, Hoke. Look, I want to just say I'm sorry for-- HOKE: Spare me the scheduled Ike Turner-style chain-apologies. What the hell do you want? ACE: Just wanted to let you know I didn't need to borrow that money from you anymore. I've got myself a new gig. It's great-- all the attention I want, and it pays good, too. HOKE: What is it? ACE: Well, it's sort of like cabaret. HOKE: Sort of? ACE: Yeah... kind of. A little. HOKE: Oh, God. What the hell are you doing now? ACE: Okay, look, don't judge me, but do you know how much it costs to maintain a $200 per day crack habit? HOKE: I'm guessing somewhere in the vicinity of two-hundred dollars per day. ACE: No-- wait, yeah, that's exactly right. Man, you're good. You must have been on the pipe yourself to figure it out that quick. But anyway, I need my rock, I need my smoke, and brother, I need money for that. HOKE: So this "cabaret"...? ACE: Well, it's not so much "cabaret" as light -- and I stress the word "light" -- light male prostitution. HOKE: I don't even want to know... ACE: No, it's nothing like that. I don't touch no one. I mean, I'm not a homo or anything. I just... HOKE: Just what? ACE: Well... I just have to dress up like Rizzo from Grease and sing "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee." And, you know, my audience really seems to dig it. They're certainly a lot more appreciative than all of those rotten bastards who wouldn't even buy my stupid schmattas. HOKE: How appreciative? ACE: What do you mean? HOKE: You know what I mean. What is your audience doing while you croon to, um, show their appreciation? ACE: I don't know. HOKE: Ace... ACE: Seriously, I don't know what these old perverts are doing. First of all, I try not to look. Second of all, they all have satin Pink Lady jackets over their laps, so who knows what's going on under there. And third-- it's all I can do just to keep up with my choreography. It's really complicated! My pimp Ajax thinks he's Bob Fuckin' Fosse or something. HOKE: Ajax? ACE: Well, his name is really "Andre." But I call him Ajax. HOKE: Why? ACE: You know... growing up as a kid... I always thought that if I became a male prostitute, I'd want my pimp to be named "Ajax." HOKE: Oh, yeah. I see what you mean. The dreams of youth. ACE: Why? What did you imagine your man-pimp would be named? HOKE: Actually, as it turns out... I always dreamed he'd be named "Ace." ACE: HOKE: ACE: HOKE: Well. That was kind of awkward. ACE: I think we should just pretend it was never said and move on from here. VOICE: (unintelligible shout in background) ACE: Look, I gotta go. They're calling me for my costume changes for "The Worse Thing I Could Do." I need a couple of minutes to prepare. The key changes are a bitch, and it really tests my lower octave. HOKE: A solo? ACE: No, they've mixed it up a bit. I'm doing some kind of Latin-Hustle number with this enormous guy playing Kinicke. The guy's only wearing a leather jacket and about a cubic yard of morning wood. He's a nightmare to dance with. HOKE: He's all over your feet? ACE: Yeahhhhh... Sure. Why not. Let's go with that. VOICE: (unintelligible shout) ACE: Anyway, that's Ajax saying last call. One sec, Ajax! VOICE: It's Andre! ACE: Whatever. He'll get used to it. HOKE: Come home, Ace. Look: You're now both a crack addict and a male prostitute. Don't you think you should just admit this "retirement" was a bad idea and come back to blogging? ACE: No way, man! This is just like blogging, except I'm providing entertainment for a live audience. And... except that I'm wearing saddle-shoes and a poodle-skirt. And also: that I'm showing my weiner to strange men. HOKE: Which, I have to admit, is a little like your blogging. ACE: Exactly. Well, here goes. Gotta go. It's my time to shine. Baby, I'm a star. (Click.) | Recent Comments
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Daily Tech News 13 March 2025
Wednesday Overnight Open Thread - March 12, 2025 [TRex] Good Boys With Toys Cafe Quick Hits Kash Patel Announces the Prosecution of a "Director Level" CBP Employee Who Defrauded the Federal Government of FEMA Funds and Lied to Federal Agents FBI Scientist Explains Why American Intelligence Now Favors the Lab Leak Theory (and In Fact Always Did) NYT Fires Half of Its Editorial Staff Trump To Lay Off 1,300 Department of Education Layabouts and Slapdicks, Cutting Staff by Nearly Half Politico: Internal Democrat Polling Shows "Massive Branding Problem" Inflation Is Cut By More Than Half In Trump's First Month In Office Search
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