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April 03, 2005

Integrity Kick: Israel Scores Goal On French Anti-Semitic Goalie

Yes, the goalie who hates Israel and followed French tradition by declaring his pre-emptive surrender to his enemy decided to play after all.

And one crafty, scheming Jew-ball got past him to knot up the score late in the game and force a 1-1 tie.

On one hand, it's good to see an anti-Semite get drubbed by a Jew.* [Correction: Not a Jew, as it turns out. See below.]

On the other hand, it's still fucking soccer, so who gives a shit either way?

In related news, the United Nations just declared Israeli's entire offensive line "barbaric," "racist," and "contrary to the basic laws of humanity." Al Jazeera claims that six children were killed as "deliberate collateral damage" from the scoring shot.

*Correction/Loose Shit That Really Undermines The Joke I'm Making: The man who scored the goal turns out to be an Israeli Arab, and a Muslim, too.

Still, he didn't dribble that ball downfield by himself, so we can say this goal occurred due to a Zionist Conspiracy employing a Jew-Loving Collaborator.

Whew. Saved it. Damn I'm good.

Thanks for the corrections, guys.

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posted by Ace at 11:20 PM

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