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The Onion: FBI Uncovers Al Qaeda Plot to Just Sit Back and Enjoy the Collapse of the United States

"Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.

“We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”

Found! First Earth-Size Planet That Could Support Life
"For the first time, scientists have discovered an Earth-size alien planet in the habitable zone of its host star, an 'Earth cousin' that just might have liquid water and the right conditions for life." More from LA Times. [rdbrewer]

Dan Kahan, The Cultural Cognition Project, Yale: More on 'Krugman's symmetry proof': it's not whether one gets the answer right or wrong but how one reasons that counts
"The test for motivated cognition is not whether someone gets the 'right' answer but how someone assesses evidence.... That Krugman is too thick to see that one can't infer anything about the quality of partisans' reasoning from the truth or falsity of their beliefs is ... another element of Krugman's proof that ideological reasoning is symmetric across right and left!" More from Jonathan Adler at The Volokh Conspiracy. Via @GabrielMalor. [rdbrewer]

Media Matters for America is resisting SEIU's effort to unionize its staff
"Last week, the union filed a representation petition with the National Labor Relations Board, indicating that the nonprofit media watchdog organization rejected an effort by the union to organize MMFA's staff through a Card Check election." Via @slublog. [rdbrewer]

CPI: Super PAC leaders score perks from political donations
"Political committees’ expenses include golf fees, steakhouse dinners and payments to organizers’ firms." And payments to organizers' firms are another way of getting money to organizers beyond what the PAC already pays them, right? Via @slublog. [rdbrewer]

Elizabeth Warren sticking to campaign script on Cherokee claim (Update: Blames “some blogger”)
Damn those bloggers. "If Warren had mistakenly lived her life openly as a Cherokee thinking she was Cherokee, that would be one thing and would be consistent with the supposed family lore. But she didn’t. She only was Cherokee when she was climbing the ladder to Harvard...." [rdbrewer]

Mediaite: Scarborough Hits Back at Krugman’s ‘Shrill Attack’ over Census Numbers
"Paul Krugman swiped at Joe Scarborough today with a blog post calling him (though not by name) an 'Obamacare truther' promoting the 'vile' idea the White House is using the census to cook the books. Scarborough fired back...." Video. [rdbrewer]

Charges will be dropped in 'disorderly conduct' / recording of bullies case
Maybe go after the bad guys, huh? Also from The Volokh Conspiracy: Ilya Somin, The new liberal “nationalist” case for federalism. [rdbrewer]

ExtremeTech: We’ve found the oldest star in the known universe – and it’s right on our galactic doorstep
From February, but it's interesting. It's older than the Milky Way. [rdbrewer]

Pundit Press: CNN: 'Breaking News: Titanic Sunk'
Chyron fail. [rdbrewer]

Megan McArdle, Bloomberg: Is Obama Cooking the Census Books for Obamacare?
"But why, dear God, oh, why, would you change it in the one year in the entire history of the republic that it is most important for policy makers, researchers and voters to be able to compare the number of uninsured to those in prior years?" [rdbrewer]

TIFO: Why Cashews are Not Sold to Consumers in Their Shells and Why Pistachios Used to Be Dyed Red
Cashews (yuck) come from the poison ivy family. Via @DebbyWitt. [rdbrewer]

GOP writes legislation to deny Eric Holder his salary
"A Republican congressman has introduced a bill that would stop government paychecks for officials who have been found in contempt of Congress...." [rdbrewer]

Rep. Louie Gohmert: Holder’s ‘childish and lame’ performance at hearing undermines his credibility on the IRS scandal
"Rep. Louie Gohmert said that his recent heated exchange with Attorney General Eric Holder exposed Holder as a 'partisan and extremely petty'...." [rdbrewer]
The oddest WTF video you will see today. Funny. Sexy. Bloody. Odd NSFW [dri]

A 13-year-old eagle huntress in Mongolia
"A photographer who snapped what could be the world's only girl hunting with a golden eagle says watching her work was an amazing sight." [rdbrewer]

Eric Cantor — The New “Mr. Amnesty”?
"Denham’s amendment isn’t about helping a few patriotic DREAMers. It’s about getting an immigration bill–any immigration bill–to the Senate where Democrats led by Senators Reid and Schumer can expand it by adding as much of the massive Gang of 8 amnesty as possible, and then going to 'conference’ with the House on must-pass piece of legislation. It is, to use the technical term, a Trojan Horse." [rdbrewer]
@DemetriMartin: A 500-Word Palindrome
Good grief. Via @Gavin_McInnes. [rdbrewer]
The Daily Beast: How Being a Doctor Became the Most Miserable Profession
"It’s hard for anyone outside the profession to understand just how rotten the job has become—and what bad news that is for America’s health care system.... [B]eing a primary care physician is not like being, say, a plastic surgeon...." They do work much harder than you might think. [rdbrewer]

Alex Pappas: Ben Carson: White House wanted apology for ‘offending’ Obama
After Carson's conservative message at the National Prayer Breakfast. "You bruised His Majesty's ego, mister. You must now attend to his feelings," they told him. [rdbrewer]
Frank J. Fleming, PJM: There Are No Such Things as ‘Scientists’
"We should get rid of the word and simply replace it with 'some guy.'" A response to We Are All Scientists. Via @EdDriscoll. [rdbrewer]
Reuters: Obama blasts Russia in tense call with Putin over Ukraine
He got all wee-weed up, called Putin a racist, threatened to send him a DVD of his speeches, and finished with "Don't you call my bluff!" --Hot Air commenters [rdbrewer]
(Physics) Standard Model fall down, go boom.
3 Quarks make up a Hadron... err, uhhh. [ArthurK]
College Humor: 13 Gods of the Internet
Listikles: God of Numbered Lists. Faprodite: Goddess of Desire. [rdbrewer]

Ed: NYT reporter: Pakistan has been our real enemy
"According to a book published last week by New York Times reporter Carlotta Gall, our true enemy in Afghanistan was not the Taliban itself, put Pakistan — which used the Taliban as a proxy against the US and other outsiders in the central Asia region." They also kept OBL safe. [rdbrewer]

Mediaite: George Will: Liberals Have Race-Baiting ‘Tourette’s Syndrome’
"'There is a kind of intellectual poverty now,' Will said. 'Liberalism hasn’t had a new idea since the 1960s except Obamacare, and the country doesn’t like it…So what do you do? You say anyone who criticizes us is a racist.'" [rdbrewer]

Ron Christie, The Daily Beast: Cynical Race-Baiting Will Fail to Save the Democrats
"Nancy Pelosi, the Democratic leader in the House, is guilty of encouraging her members to wage an ugly race war, but it won’t work." [rdbrewer]

Jonah Goldberg: Biased Views of Confirmation Bias
"[Krugman] insists conservatives are more prone to confirmation bias because he and all the liberals he knows are so much more open-minded than conservatives." So very open-minded. [rdbrewer]
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