Sickblogging

When I was in Sundance, I met a kid who was perfectly joyous about everything in life. He was pleased as punch to be there; he was unrelentingly optimistic and upbeat; he was genuinely happy to meet new people and hear about their projects; he spoke in soothingly melodic lilt, and always had a reasuring smile on his face.

I couldn't stand the fucking sight of him. Sometimes when I would hear his Up With People voice I was nearly overcome by the desire to tear off his arms and then beat him to death with his own limbs.

Well, he told me he'd come down with a very bad upper-respiratory cold that was going all through town, and that I'd better take a lot of Vitamin C and try to stay six feet from everybody if I didn't want to catch it.

Knowing full well that I had the immune system of a god -- not capital-G God, mind you, but a lesser, mythological god like, say, Apollo, or maybe Thor; whichever one is more mantastic -- I ignored him.

Ignoring him seemed like a good idea. It spared me a murder and interstate felony flight rap.

Well, sonofabitch, if I didn't catch that stupid bug. I am now so sick I am walking around on the verge of falling over from dizziness and weariness.

And no matter how much Susan-Estrich-Strength Robitussin I suck down, I have the dry, deathly cough of the pederast chained to the bed in Seven. It's one thing to have a "productive cough" when you're producing mucous; it's another thing to be producing crypt-dust and what appears to be the sort of sparkling silica most commonly found in cobalt mines.

And yet, I have blogged.

That's how damn-bastard committed I am to providing the best stupid-shit-I-just-thought-of-off-the-top-of-my-head for you, my dear readers.

PS, SiteMeter Sucks: And on a day when I get linked by Instapundit and ASV and a bunch of other good folks, my SiteMeter decides to go down for three of my biggest hours, resulting in zero hits since 4:30PM EST.

And because it was crapping out, it made the site difficult to load for a couple of hours during that period.

Thanks a lot, guys! That'll help with the advertising.

Jagoffs.

posted by Ace at 07:18 PM

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