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February 10, 2005

Riot Breaks Out at London IKEA, Hospitalizing Hundreds

Donald Rumsfeld Criticized For Failing to Have a "Plan"

Umm, can I speak freely? IKEA sucks.

Five people are in hospital today after hundreds were crushed as the opening of England's biggest Ikea store turned into a riot.

Nine ambulances were sent to the outlet in north London after reports that up to 20 people had suffered heat exhaustion when the opening at midnight descended into chaos. Staff closed the doors after half an hour amid fears the stampede could become a Hillsborough-style crush.

Andrea Mitchell immediately condemned the American reconstruction effort for failing to get all of IKEA's air conditioning working properly.

Security guards said they were put "under siege" by customers who attacked them, leaving one guard with a dislocated jaw. The store remains closed and a cleanup operation is under way. Ikea apologised for the chaos and admitted the store was understaffed - but added that some customers "behaved like animals".

Ted Kennedy suggested the customers' behavior was encouraged by, if not specifically authorized by, the Gonzalez "Torture Memos."

...

Customers criticised the store. "I'm amazed at how badly organised it was," said Karni Mahmood, 37, from Enfield. "I only came here to buy a cheap sofa." Latyia Arpesh, 23, from Tottenham, said: "I was pushed to the ground and people clambered over me. I feared for my life."

She called for the United Nations to take more of a lead in restoring order and then called Ariel Sharon "a vampire."

...

As medics helped the injured, customers carried on shopping. A woman with pot plants said: "I've come from Birmingham for this." Jilal Patel, 29, from Tottenham, said: "I was queuing at 11am. Nothing is going to stop me from getting my sofa."

It is the common aspiration of all of humanity to crave:

1) freedom

2) low-cost some-assembly-required sofas executed in the design-school best described as Swedish Homosexual Moderne

Thanks to NickS.


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posted by Ace at 01:27 PM

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