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February 23, 2005

Schwarzenegger Accused of Being Anti-Woman

It's all very silly, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to ignore it:

Could Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger have another "woman problem" on his hands?

Schwarzenegger made headlines in recent months by deriding political opponents as "girlie men" and ridiculing a group of nurses at a women's conference. Now, an effort to paint the state's teachers as little more than a balky special interest group has angered many critics, who have begun to question why constituencies dominated by women have been subjected to such tough talk.

"He behaves like an arrogant patriarch with respect to women's occupations," said Rose Ann De Moro, executive director of the California Nurses Association. "Nurses, teachers, home health workers — it's vulgar how he's run roughshod over them. He's arrogant, and he's a bully."

To which Gov. Schwarzenegger responded, "I did not mean to demean de women in any way. I realize there are special problems that confront de women in de workplace, what with de manicures and de laughable jumping upon chairs and shrieking at de mouses and de screwing up de conveyor belts in de candy-factory and other such things as dese.

"But, let's be honest: You can really be pains in de asses, with de periods and de cramps and de mood-swings and de Lifetime television and de watching of de Law & Order repeats for de six thousandth time. How many times can you watch Paul Sorvino get shot?

"I don't think I've watched myself flexing in Pumping Iron as many times as you women watch Never Been Kissed. What is the continuing mystery to you broads? She gets the cute guy at the end-- and she will keep getting him, each and every time you watch de stupid movie. It's not like following a basketball season, ladies. De outcome is not likely to change de following week.

"But I realize that some women are angry with me, and for that I apologize. But let's be honest. When I apologize to women I don't mean a word of it and I neither does any man in America. We have no idea what you broads are talking about three quarters of de time. All I know is that I did something I'm supposed to apologize for, and if I don't, I will continue getting bitched at, what with de screaming and de yelling and de no-sex pledges and de flirting with de cute-but-clearly-gay waiter at de Olive Garden and other such things like dis. So, I am very sorry.

"And I promise you dat in de future de Arnold Schwarzenegger administration will continue delivering the roller-coaster thrill-ride of the summer dat all of you have come to expect."

H/t to Darrel Hammond for the listing aspect of this Schwarzenegger impression. But not for his "and other such things as dis" closing. Hey, I picked up on that and added it to my own (bad) Arnold impression before I saw him do it on SNL.

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posted by Ace at 03:00 AM

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