Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

And Now Bill Burkett Threatens to Sue CBSNews | Main | Ward Churchill Given Tenure... By Mistake
February 22, 2005

Quick Hits

Australia Boosts Iraqi Forces By 450: You are buying Australian wine, right?

They'll partly make up for the 1,400 Dutch soldiers going home.

Anchorage Woman Cuts Off Boyfriend's Penis: And the thing is, she did so pre-emptively:

Surgeons reattached an Anchorage man's penis over the weekend after his girlfriend, apparently upset over a pending breakup, cut it off with a kitchen knife...

Did you catch that? A pending break-up? Sheesh!

But the whole story is shot through with weirdness:

Weird: A city wastewater utility worker recovered the penis from a toilet down which the woman had flushed it. It was rushed to Providence Alaska Medical Center, where doctors performed reattachment surgery...

Weird: The woman drove the man to the hospital after the attack.

Very Weird: The man, whom police would not identify, was married to Tran's aunt, Shell said. All three had lived together for a while, during which time Tran and the man had a relationship for at least a year, Shell said. The man moved out of the home on Moose Run Circle sometime recently, but Tran and the aunt still live together, she said.

"The aunt was aware of the relationship, and it was causing problems," Shell said.

Um, yeah. I can see that.

Not So Much Weird As Just Common Male Stupidity: The two were arguing about the [impending break-up] sometime before midnight Saturday, but at some point they decided to have sex.

After he allowed Tran to tie his arms to the window handle above the bed, she pulled the kitchen knife and severed his penis...

A guy is fighting heatedly with a woman he wants to break up with. She says she wants to have sex. The guy, of course, says yes. The woman wants to tie his hands up, rendering him helpless.

They guy, of course, says yes again.

The woman takes out a kitchen knife.

The guy asks, "How long is this going to take before we start having that sex we were just talking about?"

I feel bad for the guy. I don't see myself doing a single thing differently, even if I'd caught the gleam of sharp steel peeking out of the chick's underpants.

Iraqi Terrorists Target... Hairstylists: For the outrage of trimming beards.

Sad for the barbers, but it's a sign that they're losing the war.

Updated Terrorist To-Kill List

American Soldiers Too tough!
Iraqi Police Officers Starting to fight back!
Iraqi Civilians Also starting to fight back!
Hairdressers -- Aaaah, by Allah's Grace, here is victory ripe for the taking! Oh, wait, shit! They're all armed with scissors!

I don't know if there's much hope for a political movement that puts so much emphasis on facial-hair grooming.

German Man Shoots Self In Neck With "James Bond" Style Pen-Gun: Fell out of his pocket when tying his shoes, plugged him right in the neck.

He lived. I suppose it was one of Q's numerous failed prototypes.

When asked from where he'd gotten the gun, the man claimed he "found" it.

Okay. Not a good story, but then, he'd just been shot in the neck.

John McCain: Hillary Would Make a "Good President" Part of John McCain's long-term strategy to piss off each and every Republican voter in America. I'd say he's about three quarters of the way there.

Um, does this guy realize there are only about 10,000 reporters in America? He knows that at some point he'll have to start reaching out beyond "his base," right?

CSI Shows Give Public "Unrealistic" Expectations About Power and Certainty of Forensic Science: In related news, Gilligan's Island misleads the public about the feasibility of constructing a short-wave radio out of three coconuts and an epileptic gibbon as a power-source.

This is an old phenemon, though. In David Simon's outstanding Homicide, the cops he interviewed complained the the public had gotten the idea that every case would have smoking-gun evidence for every part of the crime from TV shows, too. Like, if a suspect confesses that he shot a bartender and then ditched the gun in the river, the jury would still want that submerged murder weapon.

Which proves my longstanding thesis: People are fucking stupid.

And finally:

Tapes Indicate Bush May Have Smoked Marijuana: I haven't been this shattered since I found out 1) that Jeff Gannon was gay and 2) who the hell Jeff Gannon was in the first place.

But seriously-- didn't we know this? I'm 100% positive that Bush previously used this answer publicly-- "I don't want to say, because I don't want kids to say, 'He's the President, so it's okay'." So what the hell is the "news" here?

The media pretty much already declared Bush to have been a cokehead, anyhow.

That's the good thing about having a liberal media-- there really aren't too many big bad surprises for Republicans. They report everything bad they can come close to proving and what they can't prove they just sort of speculate about, with the strong hint that this is more than mere speculation.

Which immunizes Republicans from these sorts of "shocking" revelations later on.

digg this
posted by Ace at 06:00 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Ordinary American: "As governor, Haley caved to the anti-free speech m ..."

redridinghood: "The man has been identified as Aaron Bushnell. Fr ..."

Village Idiot's Apprentice: ""The people of SC are familiar with her and know w ..."

Lizzy[/i]: ">>It's actually kinda was...he was a young compute ..."

Bulgaroctonus: "Flaming AF a-hole wasn't complicity in the English ..."

Montec : "Then why do Trump's numbers not go down with indic ..."

18-1: "[i]The same goes for committed Democrat voters... ..."

whig: "I remember back in the 00s when the GOPe types arg ..."

Florida Peasant : "5000 donors to Biden 2020 also donated to Nikki 20 ..."

It had to be said: ""But of course: The man, whose identity is pendin ..."

It's me donna : "That story about the murdered Nursing student is a ..."

Piper: "This post is so sad. I hate we are this broken. ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64