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February 01, 2005

Lara Flynn Boyle Hotness Update

Back in May, I explained at some great length what made Lara Flynn Boyle so hot. Among other reasons:

The fact that Lara Flynn Boyle is hot, but not perfect hot, means that you can play upon her anxiety and beat down her reservoir of self-esteem in order to keep her dependent on you. You just have to say things like, "Oh, no Lara, I'm totally attracted to you. I've never been really into what some would call 'classic beauties.'"

Or, maybe, "Look, I'm always calling you beautiful. Even when all my friends and the Hollywood glitterati say you're not so beautiful, I'm always there, arguing otherwise, usually in futility. But I think you're beautiful. In the right light, you understand."

And then, when she's asleep, just keep whispering to her, "Who else could possibly love something like you?" Eventually that will sink into her subconscious.

It's time to add a new reason. Allegedly, when she gets bored on airplanes, she strips off all of her clothes and tries to have sex with random passengers.

Man! And the best I could do was plow through the first half of State of Fear!

(Yeah, sure, I had my pants off too, but under the blanket.)

Thanks to Not So Much People for the tip.

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posted by Ace at 12:42 PM

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