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February 20, 2005
The Bush Tapes (Hoke)
New Tapes Say Bush May Have Smoked Marijuana.
"I wouldn't answer the marijuana question. You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried."
The tapes allowed further insight into the machinations of the president as he mapped his route to power.
"I like Condi, I do, but that gap-toothed look. I mean, sometimes, it's like when someone has a zit that is ready to pop, and you can't stop lookin'. You know what I mean?"
"You know, they say Jeb's the smart one, and all I have to say is when we were in high school, to get into my club . . . we just made this club up for Jeb, well, to see if he try to get in. We made him eat seven sticks of butter. And he did it. How smart is that?"
"Look, I'm not answering the Linda Lavin questions either. Old news. History. And I for one am not gonna' be the president who answers 'yes' to the question 'Did you snort coke off of the belly of Mel's waitress?' No sir."