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Top Headlines
The UK continues its downward slide into stupidity. [Mis. Hum.]
Maine Democrats Vote to Permit Female Genital Mutilation
The Patriarchy is your friend when it comes from exotic overseas lands
McCabe: I Would Like More Money for My Lawyers Now, Please
Sources Claim Senior NSC Adviser Was Moved to Pence's Staff as Face-Saving Maneuver to Get Him Out of Bolton's New NSC Without Embarrassing Him
I Wore a Tucker Carlson Shirt in California Liberal Bubble Areas for a Week and Here's What People Said
No Longer Needing to Pretend She's in a Conventional Marriage and No Longer Needing Bill Clinton's Help in Losing Elections, Hillary Clinton Announces She'll be Editing Her Twitter Bio to De-Emphasize "Wife," Which Had Been Her First Self-Definition
Even in this, she follows a trail her husband had already courageously blazed for her -- Bill's been deemphasizing Hillary's title as "wife" for some decades now
Jealous James Cameron Snipes that Marvel Movies Are Just "Testosterone-Driven" Boys' Fantasies, But His Avatar Movies Are an Antidote to Such Fare
I'm not defending Marvel movies here, just noting that James Cameron's Avatar film featured a crippled man given super-powers by strange technology (the super-power of mind-controlling a giant, super-strong, super-agile nine-foot tall Nightcrawler ripoff) and who then had to fight a giant robot mecha marine armed with a, I shit you not, three-foot-long Kabar knife. Dude, your fucking movies are testosterone-driven superhero boys' fantasies.
Alex and Brent finally have intelligent and insightful questions to answer on the Drift Compatible Podcast. It's about time. [Weirddave]
President George H.W. Bush Hospitalized After Contracting an Infection Shortly After Wife Barbara's Funeral
I'd offer thoughts and prayers but the left says that only legislative action counts. I'm not sure what kind of bill to advocate for.
Remember, a Media Panel Decided that John Harwood Was a Neutral and Objective Journalist and a Perfect "Moderator" for a Republican Primary Debate
s Afghan Vet Who Lost His Penis and Testicles in Combat Has First Full Transplant of Genitals; Twitter-Certified BlueCheckmark "Writer" Wishes "His Dick Would Fall Off"
Twitter uses its blue checkmark system to confer status and validation on people, or deny it to them. Yet this... specimen still has xers.
Anti-Gun Control Parkland Survivor Kyle Kashuv Questioned By School Security For Visiting Gun Range With His Father [CBD]
Happy Earth Day! [Mis. Hum.]
You have a nice racket there. Be a shame if something happened to it. The alligator is hungry. [Mis. Hum.]
Wow. Just wow. Bill Kristol must be indisposed or needs money. Never say Never. That’s what some of the Never Trumpers are saying, and even more are thinking. Both in private. They are afflicted with a nagging suspicion. Trump might, how shall they whisper it, Make America Great Again. [Mis. Hum.]
Verne Troyer, best known for playing Mini-Me in "Austin Powers" has died at age 49. RIP [J.J. Sefton]
I'm not saying there is a sucker born every minute. But........Forest Bathing is the new and happening thing. [Mis. Hum.]
We have to give credit to the illegal aliens they are expanding their qualifications of usefulness. Nice explosion. [Mis. Hum.]
Twitter, a cute name for Stasi. Street artist Sabo permanently banned. [Mis. Hum.]
The DC Establishment Class is Vouching as a Group for Robert Mueller's Uncompromising Probity. This Despite the Anthrax Investigation Bungling, Letting Sandy "Socks" Berger Skate With Barely a Slap on the Wrist, Maliciously Prosecuting Scooter Libby While Ignoring the Real (and Known) Leaker Richard Armitage, Railroading Sitting Senator Ted Stevens on a Conviction Later Tossed Out by a Judge, and Investigating a Phantom Ring of ISRAELI SPIES Operating out of the Pentagon
As Zed said in Men In Black: "You're everything we've come to expect from years of government training."
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Frequently Asked Questions

What is the Deal with the Cowbell?
Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"?
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
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AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
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George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Top Top Tens

Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up

Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
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