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July 24, 2006

Man Sues High School Over Photo Showing His Junk

Or, Heart-Sick Over Dick-Pic.

This may be old, but I had Glenn Greenwald feveh. Still good.

A high school yearbook photo was snapped of a man as he jumped to shoot a basket, revealing in a shot that displayed his mansac. He's suing for... I don't know, intentional infliction of raw nut or something.

In [the photo], he is shown making an elongated jump to score a basket. Bennett claims it also clearly shows his genitals in the absence of underpants, which he claims has left him scarred.

"I was shocked, embarrassed and upset," Bennett told the New York Post. "I remember a student taunting me and asking, 'How's it hanging?'"

I don't have a joke here, but I have made the item funnier by swapping out the Post's choice of word, "underwear," with the word "underpants," which is, for some reason, 82% funnier. I don't know why it's funnier. Just one of life's mysteries, I guess.

SeanM also has a story that has the headline, "Dog-Cooking, Tree-Taking School-Burner May Lose Job:"

A Chinese headmaster, who tried to buy off colleagues by cooking dog meat for them after secretly selling off trees around the school, ended up setting fire to classrooms when the meal burst into flames, a Chinese newspaper said Friday.

Okay, now I'm going to make a point. Sean had both of those stories and what does he tip me to?

A link of a typically moronic liberal "analysis" of foreign policy from the Los Angeles Times, making the case that under Clinton, America and the world were... oh, why even fucking bother saying. You know where it's going.

The story writes itself -- reluctantly, looking up at the author to ask "You sure you want to go with this kind of hackneyed, leftist retard-cant? Really?" as it types itself, sighing, onto the page.

It's a good story, okay. But-- he's got a guy suing because a picture showed his balls, and another story about some kind of monstrously destructive fire caused by a Chinese man trying to bribe people with roasted dog, and...

I give up.

No one knows what the hell they're doing in blogging except me. I swear to God.

It continues to baffle me I am not Chief Executive In Charge of Something Tremendously Important by now.

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posted by Ace at 04:12 AM

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