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July 12, 2006


From: Karl "Ace of Spades" Rove

To: The Dextrosphere

Re: Your apparent mental retardation

Stop linking the foaming, insipid Glenn Greenwald. For the love of Satan, the man only needs to say "I like cock" and every one of you gibbering baboons feels compelled to immediately link his musings about cock and then refute, deconstruct, fisk, and satirize them. Providing lengthy citations for your objections to his self-pronounced cock-loving tendencies.

Without, apparently, ever bothering to ask your retarded selves a critical threshold question: Who the fuck cares what Glenn Greenwald thinks?

Not even Glenn Greenwald knows who the fuck who Glenn Greenwald is. The other day, he was buying some batteries at Radio Shack, and, per their procedures, they asked him his name. "I have no idea who I am," he's reported to have said. "I'm drawing a complete blank. Gun to my head, I couldn't tell you my name. Gerard? Gerry? Rrrr... Randy? Randy sounds close enough. Let's say Randy. So, just the batteries then. And the latest issue of Cock Weekly."

Are you all this fucking stupid? The little traffic whore he-bitch just wants you to drive thousands of readers to his site. He is simply going in almost precise order down the Truth Laid Bear Ecosystem, insulting you like a Tourette's case with anti-social tendencies, and you all immediately snap to and give him precisely what he wants.

If that's how all of you roll, then consider this an insult: You're all a bunch of fuck-witted fuck-headed fucking addlefucks.

Are you all serious with this weak shit? Did someone give you all a good beatdown with the moron-bat?

Yesterday I never heard of this little tosser, and today, it's all anyone's goddamned writing about.

"Oooh, did you read what Gleen Greenwald wrote?"

"Oh goody good gosh darn it, Glenn Greenwald just said something about me that I don't like one bit."

"Gee, I wonder if Glenn Greenwald likes Danny Elfman's movie scores or not. I think I'll write a 500 word post soliciting his opinion on this, and on Oingo Boingo generally."

Who give's a rat's wet ass? None of your readers care. Shit, none of his readers care. Why the hell do you?

Has the world gone mad? I feel like I've just been skull-fucked with a crazy-stick.

I swear to Satan All Mighty, if one of you drooling imbeciles so much as unbuckles your moron helmets to even think about responding to this no-talent no-account no-name nobody again, I'm going to send Dick Cheney after you wearing his Gimp outfit and a hunting vest.

I'm warning you. I am on my last nerve with this stupid shit.

Don't say a goddamned word to me,

Karl Rove

cc: Patterico; Q&O; Goldstein; Instapundit; Dan Riehl; Sister Toldjah

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posted by Ace at 11:46 PM

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