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July 28, 2006

Thank You UN Part Deux - DDG

So we were sitting around Innocent ByStanders earlier, trying to figure out who we could pick on once Ace's place opened for business again. As with all things, the market eventually works out the answer.

I am hereby declaring tonight "The U.N. Bashing Bash" aka "The Turtle Bay Roast": a chance to sensitively and multiculturally explain to our International neighbors in Manhattan why they are poopyheads.


Let's start with their website: The whole thing has that vague "Citizen of the World" apologetic feel that seems to accompany any effort at making International cooler and more acceptable than national. A few Tom Peterish observations:


  • From the first page, the [holding nose] business section is way down on the lower right. Upon entering, you'll get the vague sense that there was $12 left over in the web site budget last year, and it had to go somewhere (anyone who has ever done federal contracting gets the same feeling from the SBA sites)

  • The good news about the business presence of the UN? There's a list of topics that presumably relate to business - you can choose children (heh) and donate to UNICEF. Business = Donation. Got it.
  • Optimistically, I tried the "Peace and Security" link off the main page. It is like death from 1000 pricks small cuts.
  • Best headline: ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL COUNCIL ADOPTS RESOLUTIONS ON REPERCUSSIONS OF ISRAELI OCCUPATION ON PALESTINIANS, A SMOKE-FREE UNITED NATIONS. Anti-Israel? Check. Anti-smoking? Bonus! What a day of action in the council chambers.
  • Finally, I leave you with the Q/A page. Two links are suggestive: "The UN In Brief" (there's a photoshop there) and "Image and Reality".

    You know, I wanted to do an expose worthy of this vaunted site, but I think I've just thrown up a little in my mouth. The whole sad PR job is made sadder by the irony and the villainy. For all of the good intention, the notion of "We the Peoples" is horribly ill-founded. The UN can only ever be effective in the absence of moral goverments.

    I'll leave you with this little gem:

    digg this
    posted by Ace at 11:38 PM

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