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July 19, 2006

The Deb Frisch Plan For Middle East Peace

1) Continue writing like an uneducated moron by calling Washington, DC (I'm not kidding) "war$hington, deecee." The "deecee" part is new. What that is supposed to mean in her paranoid-schizophrenic semiotic system, I cannot even guess. I think that's the proper way to write it according to Strunk & White's The Elements of Batshit Crazy.

2) Move the entire state of Israel to Connecticut. Give Jerusalem to the Muslims.

3) State that this plan is "a no-brainer, really, when you think about it, which of course no one really wants to," a statement that manages to be both vapid and condescending at the same time, which is a pretty neat trick when you think about it (which of course no one really wants to).

4) Complain about the displaced Lebanese while failing to note the thousands of Israelis hiding in bomb shelters.

5) Demand that Israel say "Shalom" (peace) immediately, or we'll say "Shalom" (goodbye) to them, without making an equivalent call for, you know, Hezbollah to stop launching rockets into Haifa.

6) Ask around to find out if Jeff Goldstein's kid is "seeing anyone yet."

Okay, that last one is just a supposition, based on her continued sexual obsession with other people's children, but the rest is a fair digest.

Thanks to Andrew's Dad, who keeps up with crazy, so you don't have to.

A Reader Responds... Tom the Pooklekufr (yeah, I'm baffled myself) answers Dr. Deb in Madisonian fashion:

Deb, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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posted by Ace at 10:10 PM

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