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July 14, 2006

Cool Facts About Valerie Plame

Reposting, in honor of her lawsuit.

Captain's Quarters checks the allegations in Plame's lawsuit against the factual record. You will be surprised to learn the allegations and the known facts are not as harmonious as one might like. (Thanks to CraigC.)

Update: More Wilson/Plame photoshopping and analysis.

Below the jump, an Aristocrats-style story of Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame. Kind of similar to Jim Treacher's photoshop, except super dirty. STRONG CONTENT WARNING. Aristrocrats jokes are filthy.


Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson and their daughters walk into a talent-agent's office.

"We have a great act," Valerie Plame says.

"Oh? A family act? They're a bit stale at this point," the talent agent says.

"This isn't the usual family act. Can we show you?" she says, and the talent agent nods.

Valerie Plame immediately takes out her hyena-like seven-inch clitoris and begins fucking Joe Wilson up the ass with it. The daughters take an enormous three-foot long dildo and begin gag-fucking Joe Wilson in the mouth with it.

Joe Wilson chokes on the huge dildo and vomits up a live puma endowed with an enormous throbbing puma-cock, which Valerie Plame immediately begins fellating, slurping up its puma pre-come as well as her husband's stomach bile.

Valerie Plame opens up her vagina and Chris Matthews falls out, and then she spreads her ass and Keith Olbermann fall out. She immediately sticks her hands and arms shoulder-deep up their menstuating vaginas and begins working them like sock-puppets, having them babble that Bush outed her as "political payback."

They all leave the talent agent's office and then begin a whirlwind world media tour, Valerie Plame still clit-fucking Joe Wilson up the ass, still working Matthews and Olberman like some vaginal sock-puppets, the daughters still pounding an enormous dildo down their father's throat with a hammer and the puma occasionally blowing puma-wad into Valerie Plame's eyes, from which she doesn't even flinch.

They brutally gangrape every MSM reporter who interviews them, but each glows with deep sexual satisfaction as they say, "Well, you're an extremely brave family for bringing these troubling allegations to light."

Matthews and Olberman have simultaneous orgasms as they scream "Bush lied about uranium" and blast off of Valerie Plame's arms on huge torrent of girlcum.

Then they all come back to the talent agent's office, panting, dripping with menstual blood, vaginal secretions, vomit, and prodiguous amounts of puma-choad, and then all throw their arms up and say "TA-DA!"

"Well," the talent agent says, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

"LEAVE US ALONE," Joe Wilson growls. "We're private people. Can't you just leave me and my family alone?"

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posted by Ace at 12:12 PM

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