Top Ten Pick-Up Lines | Main | Deans of Journalism Not Sure If NYT Should Publish Information That Destroys Effective Anti-Terrorist Programs
July 12, 2006

Net Neutrality

I don't know much about this issue. People start talking about tubes and I just can't follow the techincal details.

This is pretty much the state of the debate as far as I can tell.

1) You put things into tubes.

a) There are many things that may be put into tubes.

b) But they break down into four broad categories:

i. Pictures of big-breasted lesbians hitting each other with pillows.

ii. Pictures of cats.

iii. Guys pretending to be big-breasted lesbians, trying to find other big-breasted lesbians, so they can punch the clown to dirty typing about hitting each other with pillows, resulting in thousands of dudes wacking off with other dudes while they're all pretending to be a lesbian stripper named "Summer Autumn."

iv. More pictures of cats.

2) There is only so much room in these tubes.

3) So some people would like to charge different users different amounts to fill the tubes with different things.

a) Some worry that without this scheme, low-tubewidth users will not be able to send each other pictures of cats.

b) But with such a scheme, high-tubewidth users will have to pay more to download video of big-breasted lesbians hitting each other with pillows.

4) Both sides of the debate lay claim to the virtues of promoting freedom, equal access, innovation, and capitalism.

a) But no one will tell me if which side is going to cost me more for logging on to AOL chat under the name "Summer Autumn."

5) Ergo: I care passionately about this issue, but I don't care, because I can't understand it, and no one will tell me how my clown-punching activities will be affected.

Analog Kid explains what the debate's about.

But he doesn't mention the tubes, so I'm lost right away.

digg this
posted by Ace at 01:51 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
qdpsteve: "Re Sondheim, I just checked out a TV musical he wr ..."

NaCly Dog (u82oZ): "Bozo Conservative...Living on the Prison Planet ..."

Soothsayer -- : " Sounds like Sondheim was no Burt Bachrach. ..."

Sharkman: "BC: I've read Bloodlands, and yes, it is a hard re ..."

SMH while awaiting His return: "Hey Salty. I live in a very rural small town. ..."

moviegique: "||What songs by Stephen Sondheim should I know?? ..."

browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard: "403 browndog Official Mascot of Team Gizzard No ..."

runner: "I don't really think Hitler had any realistic expe ..."

NaCly Dog (u82oZ): "{{{SMH}}} Hope you and Ex-ex had a relaxing Tha ..."

Oddball: "Moriarty and his fucking negative waves... ..."

From That Time: "Re Redford, actually bumped into him in 1978 or so ..."

Darrell Harris: "374 367 Posted by: Just a side note at November 27 ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64