Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!





Recent Entries
Minor Update: Sam Mathews... Not A Puppet | Main | Questions For Mr. Greenwald
July 20, 2006

Why Men Are Stoopid

It's all the woman's fault.


A man's brainpower, scientists say, can be damaged by sharing a bed. When they spend the night with a partner, their sleep patterns are disturbed, whether they make love or not.

This leads to poorer mental agility the next day.

Women do not suffer from the same problem. They have disturbed sleep if they share a bed, but tend to get better quality rest when they do drop off and their brain power remains undiminished.


Nevertheless, married men continue to be the pack-leaders when it comes to the development of edge-cutting fart jokes.

That one where he asks me to 'look for something' under the bedcovers?
A timeless classic, forged in the white-hot dutch oven of matrimonial love.

The findings suggest if a man has an important day ahead he would be best to head off to the spare room rather than share the marital bed.

Oh, HELL no.

Look, I know he'd rather be working on new ideas to improve the particle-accelerator-thingie, but I really need him to scrape and paint the garage door this weekend.

UPDATE: Magical Pat postulates:

The part about not sleeping well affecting your day makes sense. The last thing you want is a woman named margaret who tosses and turns in your bed all night. Nothing worse than Restless Peg Syndrome.

Magical Pat, you deserve to be beaten half to death for that pun. Twice.
Thanks.


digg this
posted by LauraW. at 08:26 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Ricardo Kill: "Has anyone resolved the fucked-up Universe we see ..."

Ricardo Kill: "Oh, and, I did a huge rookie sock fail above. Scr ..."

Rock Cutter: "Go eat a carrot you tea-bagger! Have a Blessed ..."

Peaches: ""Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: receive ..."

Niedermeyer's Dead Horse: "Congrats Alton! A good man is never down and ou ..."

cthulhu: "469 Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: rec ..."

MIchaelangelo's Landlady: "Congrats, Alton. Jobs are a bitch. I have one bu ..."

mindful webworker being dragged back to my cell: "Gotta go. Good night, Gracies. Have fun. Or whatev ..."

Truck Monkey, Gruntled New Business Owner: "Congrats Alton! ..."

torquewrench: ""Not sure we have a quorum, but here goes: receive ..."

Slapweasel: "Congrats, Alton! ...and best wishes with that con ..."

MIchaelangelo's Landlady: "M16......M14.........M1 For some strange and ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64