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July 17, 2006

Mr. T Slams Celebrities, Boasts Asskicking Certifications

Nails the celebrity disaster-tourists who went to New Orleans for photo-ops but didn't contribute a check or a hammer-arm.

Also says he's "qualified to beat people up," but also "pretty intelligent."

In related news, the trailer for Rocky VI is out. Grendel wants to know my take on it, and I thought of writing one, but then I realized -- not even I care what I think about Rocky IV. But let me say briefly:

It looks okay. It's kind of ridiculous that Rocky can still fight for the heavyweight title at age, what is he now, 92?, but then, George Forman did okay at age fifty.

With the exception of Rocky IV, they've all been pretty good, or at least okay. I objected to that one because it was too crude in its manipulation, and also posited Rocky essentially bringing down the Soviet Union. Same problem I had with Rambo, when he went to save the POWs. Real problems (assume arguendo that there are POWs still held in Vietnam) have to be taken seriously. I don't like movies that posit fantasy solutions for real, serious problems.

I'm also not sure how Rocky, suffering brain damage, and having been basically a finesse-free fighter throughout his life with almost no skills, just punching power and the ability to absorb massive amount of damage, suddenly knew all sorts of Brazillian jui-jitsu street-fighting moves at the end of Rocky V.

I thought brain damage slowed you down and made you more clumsy. I didn't know it bestowed Spiderman-level agility and reflex speed and an intuitive comprehension of mixed martial arts.

Oh-- and Rocky III is the key to a good Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon question. Kermit the Frog? Kermit was in Rocky III with Sylvester Stallone who was in The Specialist with Sharon Stone who was in He Said, She Said... with Kevin Bacon.

So that's my opinion on Rocky VI.

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posted by Ace at 05:11 PM

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