Sponsored Content
« Mike Greenwell wants Jose Canseco's MVP (Hoke) | Main | Susan Estrich - DIVA! (Hoke) »
February 17, 2005

CrackerJack Detective Work (Hoke)

Man with "an interest" in Fight Club removes his own tongue and lights himself on fire

The Otter Tail County Sheriff's Department said Monday it is closing its investigation into the bizarre Oct. 19 incident where a man was found in Underwood handcuffed, his tongue cut out and his body severely burned, after the man apparently admitted to a deputy that the injuries were self-inflicted . . . . Schlueter said Strom may have imitated a scene from a movie. "He had an interest in the movie 'Fight Club,'" Schlueter said. In that movie, the main character has a split personality. In the end, one of the personalities attempts to kill the other. "The evidence speaks for itself," Schlueter said.

Loathe as I am to question Sheriff Brian Schlueter, but if he's got a guy with his tongue cut out who is also burned to a deep crisp, does "an interest" in the movie "Fight Club" really constitute "evidence" that "speaks for itself."

Granted, Strom admitted that the injuries were self-inflicted, but isn't is possible that he "confessed" because he did not want to incur further ire from the person or persons who removed his tongue and burned him to a crisp?

More likely, his admission probably sounded something like this: "AUR CURT MOUR AURN TONGURE OUT ALN LERT MERSELF ERN FAHRRR!"

digg this
posted by Ace at 04:57 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Puddleglum at work: "The F1 live timing and scoring appears stuck. I th ..."

Puddleglum at work: "Hi Skip I checked online. A crash. Weather look ..."

Skip : "Sounded like a plane buzzing my house ..."

Skip : "Everyone better pick a side, Leftism is join or di ..."

Skip : "More carnage in Australia but can't tell what's go ..."

Adriane the Golden Oldies Critic . . . : "[i] https://youtu.be/hIqwzQ7g-Cc [/i] Holy Cow, ..."

Debby Doberman Schultz: "Good night, Horde, I need to be up early. Thanks f ..."

RickZ: "[i]Everybody MUST get stoned! Posted by: Bob Dy ..."

Some rando on the net: "Donald Trump raised four million dollars after the ..."

Cindi Lauperseeder: "Time after Time ..."

Bob Dylan: "Everybody MUST get stoned! ..."

Berserker-Dragonheads Division : "If I won the lottery, well I would buy several of ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64