Condi Rice Gives France a National Case of the Vapors By Calling Iran "Totalitarian" | Main | (Bump) Winter Donation Drive/Jeff Gannon Memorial Fund
February 12, 2005

(Bump) In Memoriam: Jeff Gannon Haiku Contest

We can't bring him back, but we can grieve together.

Through elegiac poetry.

Contest closes at, let's say, Monday at 11:59 PM EST. That should give me a good 48 hours to pick a winner.

Loose shit? Integrity? Who cares. Make it look approximately like a haiku and that's good enough.

Because that's how Jeff Gannon would have wanted it.

Update-- For Inspiration:


They may take our lives, but they will never take-- our GANNNN-ON!!!

Thanks to the most excellent Slublog.

It's Like Princess Dianna Died All Over Again Update: Just received this touching email from a despondent reader:

I just returned from vacation to learn, to my horror, that they -- I can hardly bring myself to say it -- that they got Jeff Gannon!

My wife is currently coverting all of our assets into gold and into gems small enough to conceal in our body cavities. I am busy loading the Hummer with blankets, penicillin, ammunition, and freeze-dried foods. I cannot, of course, provide any reference to our potential whereabouts, nor can I ever contact you again. I know you'll understand.

I once believed that if they were to strike down Jeff Gannon, that from every corner of the globe hundreds, even thousands, would rise to take his place. I know now that I was just kidding myself.

Maybe--just maybe--when the years have passed, and our shock has reached it's half-life...maybe when the shroud of our grief is lifted just enough for us to look one another in the eye once again, we'll begin to build a new world--a good world--albeit one without Jeff Gannon.

Until then, in the words of Dan Rather, "courage".

Vaya con Dios my friend! Jeff Gannon Forever!

I wouldn't be so sure there aren't a thousand Jeff Gannon heads ready to rise, phoenix-like, from the stalks of his mixed-mythological-metaphor hydra necks.

As my Pappy used to say: There's a little bit of Jeff Gannon in all of us.

Do I think the fact that they got Jeff Gannon presages the end of Western civilization as we know it?

Well, I'm not going to lie to you: it doesn't look good.

But let's take a wait and see attitude, okay? No need to sell the wife and kids into forced Bangaledeshi prostitution... yet.

Filet-O-Fish Update: Roundy McHeartdisease posts an AP story about Eason Jordan's resignation, and then adds (and I shit you not):

Now, back to the phony White House plant reporter. Ahem.

Ahem yourself, Wide-Load. I'm flooding the zone on this gob-smackingly vile Jeff Gannon tragedy as best I can.

digg this
posted by Ace at 04:06 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Hairyback Guy: "Or at least the one with the screen door. I always ..."

booknlass: "Tonight I'm being optimistic as part of my Psy op. ..."

Jane D'oh: "[i]Stormy Daniels Says She 'Technically' Didn't Sl ..."

yankeefifth`: "Sounds like the one in the Omletery in Austin (new ..."

theresa heinz kerry: "[i]well, my guess is it wold be hard to sleep whil ..."

Splunge: "Ketchup goes with Bratwurst like Hillary goes with ..."

auscolpyr: " Posted by: Calm Mentor at March 21, 2018 09:34 P ..."

yankeefifth`: "Stormy Daniels Says She 'Technically' Didn't Sleep ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "Ok yeah, but I'd like to try the sawing the boat i ..."

auscolpyr: "Posted by: yankeefifth` at March 21, 2018 09:32 PM ..."

Cannibal Bob "pressure cook your hobo today! for more info go to....: "Ok, pressure cooker chicken. Done! ..."

Quint: "Couldn't tell you the revenue break-out across the ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64