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February 12, 2005

(Bump) In Memoriam: Jeff Gannon Haiku Contest

We can't bring him back, but we can grieve together.

Through elegiac poetry.

Contest closes at, let's say, Monday at 11:59 PM EST. That should give me a good 48 hours to pick a winner.

Loose shit? Integrity? Who cares. Make it look approximately like a haiku and that's good enough.

Because that's how Jeff Gannon would have wanted it.

Update-- For Inspiration:


They may take our lives, but they will never take-- our GANNNN-ON!!!

Thanks to the most excellent Slublog.

It's Like Princess Dianna Died All Over Again Update: Just received this touching email from a despondent reader:

I just returned from vacation to learn, to my horror, that they -- I can hardly bring myself to say it -- that they got Jeff Gannon!

My wife is currently coverting all of our assets into gold and into gems small enough to conceal in our body cavities. I am busy loading the Hummer with blankets, penicillin, ammunition, and freeze-dried foods. I cannot, of course, provide any reference to our potential whereabouts, nor can I ever contact you again. I know you'll understand.

I once believed that if they were to strike down Jeff Gannon, that from every corner of the globe hundreds, even thousands, would rise to take his place. I know now that I was just kidding myself.

Maybe--just maybe--when the years have passed, and our shock has reached it's half-life...maybe when the shroud of our grief is lifted just enough for us to look one another in the eye once again, we'll begin to build a new world--a good world--albeit one without Jeff Gannon.

Until then, in the words of Dan Rather, "courage".

Vaya con Dios my friend! Jeff Gannon Forever!

I wouldn't be so sure there aren't a thousand Jeff Gannon heads ready to rise, phoenix-like, from the stalks of his mixed-mythological-metaphor hydra necks.

As my Pappy used to say: There's a little bit of Jeff Gannon in all of us.

Do I think the fact that they got Jeff Gannon presages the end of Western civilization as we know it?

Well, I'm not going to lie to you: it doesn't look good.

But let's take a wait and see attitude, okay? No need to sell the wife and kids into forced Bangaledeshi prostitution... yet.

Filet-O-Fish Update: Roundy McHeartdisease posts an AP story about Eason Jordan's resignation, and then adds (and I shit you not):

Now, back to the phony White House plant reporter. Ahem.

Ahem yourself, Wide-Load. I'm flooding the zone on this gob-smackingly vile Jeff Gannon tragedy as best I can.

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posted by Ace at 04:06 PM

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