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October 01, 2007

CAUGHT ON VIDEO: THE UNMASKING OF THE REPTOID CONSPIRACY

When I was younger and not as wise, I mocked the theory that the world was being controlled by a race of shapeshifting reptilian Jewish space vampires called "Reptoids" whose ranks included such luminaries as the Queen of England and, um, Kris Kristofferson. (If you play Me and Bobby McGee backwards, it reveals the exact coordinates of NORAD's secret Rocky Mountain Strangelove Sex Shaft.)

Well, just goes to show you. There is now, it is averred, proof that the Reptoids walk among us, and, even more frightening, they are largely brown people.

God, I was afraid of them enough when they were merely reptilian aliens from space who wanted to suck my blood while performing rituals from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Now, on top of all of that, they keep pushing shows like Moesha on me.

Courage.


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posted by Ace at 04:14 PM

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