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October 25, 2007

Wonkette Exclusive: We Found Gay Hustler Willing To Claim He Had Sex With Larry Craig! Yay, Us!

It's not that I doubt Larry Craig's gay. It's that I find it hard to believe this solid citizen...

DavidPhillips.jpg

...suddenly remembered he had sex with Larry Craig in 1987 because he heard his voice on TV.

I'm guessing this guy has heard the voices of a lot of men he's had sex with. Granted, Larry Craig has a particular way of speaking, but remembering a voice from one of a thousand anonymous hook-ups from twenty years ago?

Whatever.

As usual, no link for the Lavender Mafia over at Wonkette. Here's as much of the story I care to quote.

Phillips was recently in a bar minding his own business when he heard Craig’s voice on the television. “I went pale and nearly vomited,” Phillips says. It was the man he remembered from one of his creepiest sexual encounters twenty years earlier. “After a truncated meal I went back to my hotel room and began unwinding and jotting down the memories that the voice had opened. I recalled The Follies, the furtive groping and pawing there, the odd following of this man in my car….. Crap!”

He almost vomited? Really? The guy, as we will soon find out, sticks his joint into virtually anything that moves but over this he gets all creeped out?

Okay.

The rest of this is under the fold and with a fairly-serious content warning.


It was late in the Spring of 1987, and Phillips was a graduate student at George Mason University. “One of my favorite hangouts was The Follies,” Phillips explains, referring to the notorious and now-closed go-go boy bar La Cage aux Follies on Capitol Hill. “There were so many closeted neocons who trolled for cock and ass there, particularly cock and ass on younger men...

Neocons? In 1987? Sure they/we existed, but we weren't talked about much. Seems a Beauchampian detail to me.

...

One night, Phillips continues, “I followed [Craig] from The Follies to a Capitol Hill neighborhood, parking on the street no telling how far from his house. We walked up the alley and through the back door of a house, with him repeating several times, ‘You were never here. You don’t know me. Right?’ and me responding, ‘Right!’ in boyish submission. As we tiptoed from the back door to the stairs to the upper floor, as if somebody else was home, he turned to grope my crotch and brush my face with his hand.” The house’s decor led Phillips to believe that this was a married man: “The bric-a-brac with family pictures didn’t scream ‘old queen’ to me; it announced a woman’s influence. Still, we made our way upstairs.

[Sex details deleted; trust me on this. What you need to know is that this "Larry Craig," ahem, sodomized him while wearing a condom but then immediately ordered him out of the house "without wiping."]


Mr. Phillips’ next claim is startling, indeed: “On the way back through with shit all in my briefs and feeling totally humiliated I let my eyes wander and saw on a table a small envelope, like one from a gift or a floral arrangement, with ‘Suzanne Craig’ neatly written on it. This memory,” Phillips insists, “I noted about three hours after hearing Craig’s voice again, the night before I saw a current picture of him and a good day before I heard of his wife in the news. ‘That’s who’s going to fuck me up if she finds out,’ I thought. As he reached for the door, he took a $20 bill from his wallet, shoved in my front pocket, adding ‘Remember, I can buy and sell your ass ten thousand times over. You were never here. Don’t try to come back here. You don’t know me.

“When I next heard that voice two months ago,” David concludes, “my mind went right back to that encounter, leaving me feeling cold and used all over again. I wish I hadn’t been a screwed-up kid at the time and had had the presence of mind to tell him to keep the money he shoved at me like I was part of the trade common to The Follies."

Oh, wow, Wonkette. Superb scoop. Really.

I'm in Giggle Heaven reading about the guy who followed an anonymous stranger back to his apartment in order to be sodomized but somehow felt "dirty" about it all afterwards.

Thanks to spongeworthy.

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posted by Ace at 03:10 PM

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