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October 30, 2007

Even Scarier Halloween Costumes: Dress Your 8 Year Old Girl Up Like A Bus-Station Whore!

Yes, it does seem that Halloween is now officially an excuse for women to dress up like whores, and I have no problem with that. The Sexy Nurse costume is a crowd pleaser in a way that the Not Sexy Mouldering Zombie costume is not.

But for 8 year olds? Do little girls really need to dress up as the Sexy Fairy Princess?

Gabby Cirenza wanted to be a referee for Halloween. The outfit she liked had a micro-mini black skirt and a form-fitting black and white-striped spandex top held together with black laces running up the flesh-exposing sides. She looked admiringly at the thigh-high black go-go boots that could be bought as an accessory. And she thought the little bunny on the chest was cute.

"Absolutely not," said her mother, Cheryl. "That is so not happening."

Gabby is 11.

And the Playboy Racy Referee costume was only the latest that her mother had vetoed one pre-Halloween-crazed afternoon at Party City in Baileys Crossroads as too skimpy, too revealing, too suggestive .

Bawdy Halloween costumes, however, have become the season's hottest sellers in recent years. Not just for women, but for girls, too. And parents such as Cirenza don't like it.

Gabby eyed the Sexy Super Girl but decided against it. A friend at her Catholic school had worn that costume for a Halloween parade and pulled the already short miniskirt way up to cover her tummy. "That didn't look very good." But Gabby did like the Aqua Fairy, a vampy get-up with a black ripped-up skirt, black fishnet tights and blue bustier that comes in medium, large and preteen. A medium fits a child of 8.

No.

How about the Funky Punk Pirate Pre-Teen, with an off-the-shoulder blouse and bare midriff?

No.

Gabby pointed to the Fairy-Licious Purrrfect Kitty Pre-Teen, which, according to the package, includes a "pink and black dress with lace front bodice and sassy jagged skirt with tail. . . . Wings require some assembly."

Cheryl Cirenza shook her head in exasperated disbelief. "This is all so inappropriate. It's really disturbing," she said, eyeing a wall of such girl and preteen costumes as Major Flirt in army green, the bellybutton-baring Devilicious and a sassy, miniskirted French Maid, pink feather duster included. She'd just turned down her 13-year-old daughter's request for a Sexy Cop outfit. "When I was their age, I was a bunch of grapes."

But that was back in the days when Halloween was still a homemade kind of holiday, when an old sheet with eyeholes was a perfectly acceptable ghost and clumsily carved pumpkins on the front porch were about as elaborate as the decorations got. Now, Halloween is big business. Americans are expected to spend upwards of $5 billion this year on candy, ghoulish decorations and costumes. And the hottest trend in costumes, retailers say, is sexy. And young.

Top Ten Best-Selling Pre-Teen Halloween Costumes

10. "Sexy Malaysian Child Whore"

9. "Scary Ghost (Who Whores Herself Out On The Side)"

8. "Daddy's Little Money-Maker"

7. "Frankenstrumpet," an undead whore built from the body parts of other, lesser whores

6. "Natalie Portman In The Professional"

5. "Viking Queen Who Has Low Self-Esteem Due To Emotionally Distant Alcoholic Father And Who Moonlights As Stripper at 'Valhalla 69,' And Is Also A Part-Time Whore"

4. "Jailbait Orthodontist"

3. "Future Contestant In Huster's Beaver Hunt Feature (PS, Also a Whore)"

2. "Sexy Mermaid," with optional sash reading "Note: That Stupid Fish-Tail Only Begins Past My Genitals"

...and the Number One Bestselling Halloween Costume For Pre-Teen Girls...

1. Three-Way Tie: Sexy Fairy Princess, Sexy Kitten, and Sexy Sex-Whore

I changed Jodie Foster to Natalie Portman. mbruce suggested that joke, and it seems a little better.



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posted by Ace at 01:39 PM

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