Polls: Bush Will Definitely Not Win A Third Term In 2008 | Main | Unbelievable: ABCNews Reporter Actually Credits Rush Auction Charity Bonanza TO THE DEMOCRATS
October 19, 2007

Man Commits Suicide By Firing Flare Gun Into Mouth

I don't like to blame the media for everything, but I hope John Hughes realizes The Breakfast Club now has a bodycount.

79-year-old man shot himself in the mouth with a flare gun Thursday morning, in an incident that Town of Tonawanda police are calling an apparent suicide.

...he died about an hour and a half later.

...

The 12-gauge flare gun was the type commonly used to call for help by stranded boaters. While lacking the force of a traditional gun, the flare packs a high-intensity heat capable of doing major damage, authorities said.

Updating that How You'll Die list:

Firing a 12-Gauge Flare Gun Into Your Mouth

Very "burney." Those who have survived attempted suicides via flare gun say "You know that painful burning sensation you get from going down on Courtney Love? It's almost that bad. But at least your breath doesn't wind up smelling like a mixture of Haldol and the roadies from Queensryche."

Thanks to dri.


digg this
posted by Ace at 06:45 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
auscolpyr: ""W" in 2000, I sweated blood and tears for him to ..."

Blue Hen: "Look over there-----------------> Winona in a bowl ..."

Jen the original: "Lets face it. Virtually all of the NFL today is ma ..."

Decimated: ">>*Quietly backs out of the room* Posted by ..."

Skandia Recluse: " JackStraw at October 19, 2017 04:07 PM I'm not ..."

alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around.: "[i]I had one swim up on me once when I was fishing ..."

AoSHQ Welcoming committee: "For whatever it is worth, I am pretty bored with A ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "If Jeb Bush had not run, then George W would proba ..."

Hairyback Guy: "Exit question: did Dredd Scott have a contract whe ..."

Pug Mahon: "At Fort Sill they would herd onto cattle cars to t ..."

JackStraw: ">>I have, indeed, gotten to see a manatee up close ..."

Jane D'oh: "Look over there-----------------> Winona in a b ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64