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July 10, 2021

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (7/10/21) Cleaning Out The Closet Edition

***

The Saturday Night Joke

White House Fence

Three contractors bid to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?"

"The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.

(H/T CBD)

***

America. What a great and interesting country. Interesting?

***

A cat showing his true colors. (H/T Hrothgar)

***

Our friend and fellow Open Blogger Weasel has submitted some entertaining videos.........

Let's start with Cootchie Lips, Dude.

Weasel told me he'll keep his current day job.

After watching the following video, I'm keeping my day job as well.

***

The ONT Musical Interlude

"If I was going to be in a band this would be it." -Weasel

From our pal Doof. The Top 50 American Bands. Of course it's subjective but interesting.

Coming in at #1..........

FZ was number 37 :(

***

Part 'Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day. Part 'Genius Award Winner'.

A driver in Ohio got in serious trouble when he tried to avoid a weed bust by swallowing the green, and he's damn lucky the state trooper who pulled him over knows the Heimlich.

Law enforcement tells TMZ ... the crazy traffic stop went down in Portage County, when Trooper Charles Hoskin pulled over Stephan R. Elash for speeding. Police say he also wasn't wearing a seat belt, but that was the least of his worries

As you can see in Hoskin's dash cam footage of the July 3 stop ... he realizes Elash is having trouble breathing, so he tells him to step out to try to dislodge what's caught in his windpipe.

After a few Heimlich thrusts, the driver tries to throw up, but it's still not working. That's when Trooper Hoskin had to really apply some force ... which saved Elash's life.

You can see the driver admit he swallowed a gram of weed, and apologize to the officer. EMS checked him out and he was okay, medically. Legally? Well, he was cited for speeding, failure to wear a seat belt -- and yes, hit with a misdemeanor for marijuana possession. It's still illegal in Ohio.

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Yard Games (H/T JT)

Notice: Posted with permission by Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and Dynamic Dental Insurance Co. No refunds, no exchanges, no beefs, gripes or pissing and moaning.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:04 PM

| Access Comments


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Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries The Classical Saturday Coffee Break & Prayer Revival Daily Tech News 21 December 2024 Just The ONT, Ma'am Giant Animals Cafe Quick Hits Democrat Strategist Ruy Texiera: The Public Gave the Democrats a Clear Message About Their Rejection of Identity Marxism, But the Democrats Don't Want to Listen Kamala Harris To Be Offered $20 Million in a Media Payoff Disguised as an "Advance" on Book Royalties Plus: Media Makes Excuses for Covering Up Biden's Obvious Senility AGAIN: A Car Plows Through a German Christmas Market at a Very High Speed, Sending People Flying Like Bowling Pins, Killing an Unknown Number David Samuels: Barack Obama Created and Maintains an Echo Chamber Messaging System That Deranges and Perverts People's Thinking Every Day LOL: MSNBC Reportedly Demands That Joy Reid, Stephanie Ruhle Take Pay Cuts to Keep Their Jobs Absent Friends Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups	« Saturday Evening Movie Thread 07-10-2021 [TheJamesMadison] \| Main \| Daily Tech News 11 July 2021 » July 10, 2021 Saturday Overnight Open Thread (7/10/21) Cleaning Out The Closet Edition ***** The Saturday Night Joke** White House Fence Three contractors bid to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me." The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?" "The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked. (H/T CBD) ***** America. What a great and interesting country. Interesting? *** A cat showing his true colors. (H/T Hrothgar) *** Our friend and fellow Open Blogger Weasel has submitted some entertaining videos......... Let's start with Cootchie Lips, Dude. Weasel told me he'll keep his current day job. After watching the following video, I'm keeping my day job as well. *** The ONT Musical Interlude "If I was going to be in a band this would be it." -Weasel From our pal Doof. The Top 50 American Bands. Of course it's subjective but interesting. Coming in at #1.......... FZ was number 37 :( *** Part 'Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day. Part 'Genius Award Winner'. A driver in Ohio got in serious trouble when he tried to avoid a weed bust by swallowing the green, and he's damn lucky the state trooper who pulled him over knows the Heimlich. Law enforcement tells TMZ ... the crazy traffic stop went down in Portage County, when Trooper Charles Hoskin pulled over Stephan R. Elash for speeding. Police say he also wasn't wearing a seat belt, but that was the least of his worries As you can see in Hoskin's dash cam footage of the July 3 stop ... he realizes Elash is having trouble breathing, so he tells him to step out to try to dislodge what's caught in his windpipe. After a few Heimlich thrusts, the driver tries to throw up, but it's still not working. That's when Trooper Hoskin had to really apply some force ... which saved Elash's life. You can see the driver admit he swallowed a gram of weed, and apologize to the officer. EMS checked him out and he was okay, medically. Legally? Well, he was cited for speeding, failure to wear a seat belt -- and yes, hit with a misdemeanor for marijuana possession. It's still illegal in Ohio. ***** Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Yard Games (H/T JT) Notice: Posted with permission by Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and Dynamic Dental Insurance Co. No refunds, no exchanges, no beefs, gripes or pissing and moaning. posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:04 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments JackStraw: ">>Yeah, right AfD wants safety and security for it ..." grammie winger - cheesehead: "He wasn't a Muslim, then? Just a guy who liked to ..." fd: "Mostly peaceful Muslim. Mostly. ..." FenelonSpoke: "He wasn't a Muslim, then? Just a guy who liked to ..." FenelonSpoke: "Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at ..." 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