Ace of Spades HQ

« Eminem Reuniting With Ex-Wife Kim | Main | Harold Pinter: Gibbering Senile Crank »

December 08, 2005

Chris Matthews Interprets Dick Cheney: "Kick Their Ass And Take Their Gas"

Chris Matthews hears all sorts of strange things when Dick Cheney speaks:

MATTHEWS: I heard—I watched the vice president and I listened attentively to his speech at Fort Drum. I heard something different than just we are building a democracy over there.
I heard we are fighting for American influence. It was a much more traditional position about geopolitics. We are over there. And he went through all the cases that they, the terrorists, tried to knock us out of being over there.

Lebanon in ‘83, Somalia later on, he went through each case and said, what they are trying to do, the Arabs over there, are throw us out of Arabia. He says we have a right to be there in force; we‘re going to stay there.

I thought he was staking a claim to the oil fields of Arabia, saying, we‘re staying there, we belong there like we belong in Texas and Wyoming. [emphasis added]

Yeah, that's what he said, Chris. He also said, while giggling, "I might have done a little unauthorized flight-mechanic work for Mel Carnahan, Paul Wellstone, and John F. Kennedy Jr.-- whoopsie!" and "They all did call me Daddy, because they were all hungry."

Real Clear Politics also doesn't think it's wise of Chris Matthews, of all people, to slam Dick Cheney on his current ratings.

Matthews has become an outright leftist, but only by convenience. When you're getting your ass kicked by Keith ("Who?") Olbermann -- who attracts a small but loyal audience of moonbat lunatics -- you adjust a little to chase that demographic.

Meanwhile, it's because of jackass statements like this -- to avoid these sorts of paranoid accusations -- that we consciously chose to give short-shrift to repairing Iraq's oil infrastructure, thus allowing its economy to stagnate:

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee said Thursday in a new report that Iraq's economy appears to be stabilizing.
However, major work remains to be done, particularly with Iraq's vast oil reserves, the country's primary source of income. The United States purposefully avoided investing in the oil export sector to the detriment of Iraq's reconstruction.

"In order not to look as if we had designs on Iraqi oil, the United States has foregone meaningful investment in the one area that would have made the biggest difference, namely Iraq's oil-exporting infrastructure," the study states.

posted by Ace at 01:43 AM

Comments

Yeah, Matthews likes to spin his little yarns. But can you blame him? Old-fashioned storytelling seems to back in style.

It's the stuff dreams are made of.

Posted by: Allah on December 8, 2005 02:20 AM

Sarcasm and insults just aren't funny, Allah.

Posted by: ace on December 8, 2005 02:31 AM

So what Cheney was saying was:

I don't need democracy to impress, man. It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, those Middle-Eastern sand bitches are pumping my gas.

That's the best I could do, I can't sleep.

Posted by: adolfo velasquez on December 8, 2005 02:40 AM

You guys are missing the obvious: Dick Cheney (may he live forever!) is using Jedi mind tricks to control the weak-minded Chrissy Matthews, fooling him into making stupid, jackass statements (admittedly not hard to do), thus discrediting the opposition and allowing Cheney to work undisturbed.

Chrissy Matthews is like the buzzing of flies to Dick Cheney.

Posted by: OregonMuse on December 8, 2005 10:27 AM

"Kick there ass, take their gas"

And the problem is????

Posted by: Capitalist Infidel on December 8, 2005 10:35 AM

Prior to the Iraq War, Mathews was almost rational. Now his interjections are worse than O'Reilly's cuz at least O'Reilly is an out and out moron, and noone thinks he's being equinimible (spelling?) Mathews has turned toward using his show as a pulpit, rather than being an honest member of the gallery.

You can say the same for juan williams, and Dorky chick with glasses that used to be on CNN?

All the center lefties of 5 years ago are now just outright lefties, and campaign hacks. It's a shame.

Posted by: Doug on December 8, 2005 11:00 AM

Yeah, but Matthews also astutely noted the Cheney's speech was yesterday, which would have been day after tomorrow three days ago.

Posted by: B Moe on December 8, 2005 11:25 AM

... and noone thinks he's being equinimible (spelling?)

Yeah, "spelling" is right. What the $#@! word is 'equinimible' supposed to be, anyway? I don't think it's even in the same room with any real word. Would you like to have another stab at it?

I got your equinimible right here...

Posted by: OregonMuse on December 8, 2005 01:54 PM

equitable, ecumenical, actionable, inimitable, actuarial

C'mon OregonMuse, try harder!

Posted by: Victoria on December 8, 2005 02:32 PM

Anyone ever notice how Chris "Nutball" Mathews seems to have ADD ("you know this reminds me of ")? So I'm sure Chris M hears all sorts of things from all sorts of people - he probably had to ask Jingiss Khan and that talking jellyfish to pipe down a notch so he could hear what Cheney was saying.

Posted by: Scott on December 8, 2005 03:30 PM

"... the United States has foregone meaningful investment ..."

Well, yeah, but how does that hurt Iraq - which can (and has) sell all it has to European and Asian countries for the same price?

Posted by: John Anderson on December 8, 2005 08:42 PM

Chris matheews gose to a mind reader and the old lady finds absolutly nothing in his head one big empty space

Posted by: spurwing plover on December 8, 2005 11:25 PM

Chris Mathews is a carbuncle on the ass of jouralism

Posted by: WolfRunnerWoman on December 9, 2005 11:55 AM