They look surprisingly good. Has she had work done?

Love the title.

Re: Beth -- I never seen such a pretty girl look so tough, baby.

She's got the look.

Shirts v. skins, alternating at half-time.

Go team.

Of course gender is a grammatical term. I think you are looking for biological divisions in a species, which is sex.

Nice Prince reference.

Girls are getting into
Abstract analysis
Would like to
Make that intuitive leap

They're making plans that have far-reaching effects

And the girls want to be with the girls

And the boys say "What do you mean?"
And the boys say "What do you mean?

And there's just no love
For boys and girls ...

Looks like you killed this thread too, Knemon.

Way to go.

Wow, I've got the touch of death, huh?

BTW, Allah - I've never thanked you for that (!) you put after my one-liner summing up my liveblogging of the second Bush-Kerry debate. So, thanks.

You probably don't remember, but I do. Little gestures like that from the bloggods to us peons really mean a lot.

Yeah, good job. Asshole.

(just to be clear, because this medium makes it impossible to convey sincerity: that wasn't sarcastic. It was a geniune thank-you.)

I still want to know if Ilyka's undercover cross-dressing blog ever got going, or what.

It was a geniune thank-you

Dude, shut UP! I didn't even get to call anybody a cocksucker yet! Motherfuck!

Can we resuscitate it somehow?

Let's try this:

GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!!!!

Well, I'm all out of ideas.

Knemon, do you own a set of testicles?

If you want to save it, you can help me find video of Lothar of the Hill People.

Seriously, though:

This war sort of started with the Derbyshire thing, right? If you strip away the Derbness, he was basically saying that women tend to lose their attractiveness earlier than men, right?

I've heard many *women* complain about this in the past. I've always assumed this is just one of those unpleasant truths.

Is the objection

a) It's true, sure, but you're not supposed to say it?

b) It's true, sure, but *men* aren't supposed to say it? (Especially men who look like Derb?)

c) It's not true?

GIRLS HAVE COOTIES!!!!

Yeah, bite me.

(Just fanning the non-existant flames...)

"Knemon, do you own a set of testicles?"

You don't own testicles, really. You just rent them.

If you want to save it, you can help me find video of Lothar of the Hill People.

Men men men men
Men men men men
Men are better than women!

Men can hunt and men can fight and ... men are better than women!

INSECURE ANONYMOUS POSTER: Whaaah! You guys are so immature and insecure and stupid and stuff! I can't believe you'd post that! What's up with this whole Chris Klein thing? I just don't get it!!! WHAAAAAAAH.

Bart, to answer your question: at one point I did. Now they're in a blind trust controlled by Mrs. Knemon.

Again? Knemon, what'd this thread ever do to you?

Knemes, earlier, I thought you lot your temper.
You're a madman!

I'm trying my hardest, but I'm just not cut out for flame threads.

How's about this: if everyone else will play, I promise not to comment for thirty (30) minutes.

Is the objection

a) It's true, sure, but you're not supposed to say it?

b) It's true, sure, but *men* aren't supposed to say it? (Especially men who look like Derb?)

c) It's not true?

Okay, first, the disclaimer:

I don't care about anything Derbyshire says, ever, and I was neither particularly surprised nor angered by his post. I just can't get that worked up about it. I think he's a sad little man, more to be pitied than hated.

But if I were going to object, I guess what I'd object to is the 15-20 range he specified, because that's by no means universal. Any woman who bloomed late could tell you that. Any woman who suffered through braces, acne, shyness, an awkward growth spurt, or any of those teenage plagues would be more than happy to tell you all about how she got down on her knees and praised heaven above the day she started growing out of all that.

Furthermore, if the Derb were right about this, you'd all be beating it to Pamela Anderson's high school yearbook picture instead of her, uh, later work. You'd be scouring the internet for pictures of Angelina Jolie at 10th grade choir practice. And, well, you're not.

So my objection is mainly (c) it's not true, though I prefer "it's not always true," because let's face it, sometimes it is.

But I'll admit my objection is generously garnished with "(b) especially men who look like Derb." There's an old Scott Thompson monologue in which he asks, "Why is it always the ugly guys who think all fags want them?" In Derbyshire's case, why is it always the ugly guys who think women care what they think of our looks?

Or as this girl put it:

I flagellate myself enough without having some three hundred pound dude eating Ring Dings in front of his computer weighing in on whether or not I'm pretty and whether or not he'd fuck me.

I remember it as "big sweaty guys," not "ugly guys."

*

"I guess what I'd object to is the 15-20 range he specified"

Yeah, that was ... unfortunate.

Ilyka,

You raggin' or somethin'?

Sheesh.

I remember it as "big sweaty guys," not "ugly guys."

Knemon, you're almost certainly right about that. That's the good news.

This is the bad news: Your perfect recall of Scott Thompson's Buddy Cole monologues has basically just announced to all and sundry that your testicles have left the building.

I'm sorry. I never meant for it to be this way.

If women are so sick of flagellating themselves over stuff like this, why do they keep doing it? Maybe the problem is they're flagellating themselves, rather than guys. Or am I thinking of the wrong f-word here?

I think guys deserve more than 50% of the blame for women's body image problems. But angry girlzzzz always seem to bump that number up to 100%, which is bullshit. Look in the mirror, honey. Or, rather, stop looking in the mirror. Or... Screw it, I don't do metaphors.

Is it the same for women? i.e., is it the nasty straight women who think all dykes want them?

I guess I took the 15-20 year old thing as an aesthetic comment. Like someone preferring Porsches over Corvettes. I mean, if the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel looked so great with a few hundred years of accumulated grime on it, they wouldn't have bothered cleaning it anyway. I don't recall the assertion being that the 15-20 was true in absolutely all cases, just that it was generally true, and that this perception (perception, as opposed to a hard -oops- and fast law of the universe like gravity) is held by some people during some parts of their lives.

Maybe the problem is they're flagellating themselves, rather than guys

Probably partly true, and in the particular example I linked above I think you could also blame the woman's mother, who was apparently something of a don't-eat-you'll-get-fat neurotic, only, times infinity.

[Insert Gutfeld "eating disorders work" joke here.]

Anyway, I'd normally now launch into this whole thing about how women are surrounded by magazines that tell them they're ugly, billboards that tell them they're ugly, movies and television and books that tell them they're ugly, blah blah blah, but I think I've done that bit before, for one and for two, I'm just not feeling the fire tonight.

That's probably because I'm sitting in a great big pool of menstrual blood (good call, Ace). This Moon Cup business just is not working out. And I'm tired of always having to special-order size "Canyon."

This whole topic just did not get me riled up enough to comment. Sure, Derby's sounding perverted and he married a young Chinese girl. Probably likes the whole pre-pubescent subservient thing.

But at the end of the day, there's a lot to be said for sexual confidence. Which comes with experience.

Well, she *was* 23. Not really a "girl." (Although significantly younger than him at the time, it seems).

Ilyka,

Heh. I *KNEW* it!

I just tend to assume that any girl I meet under thirty is totally nuts.

This is New York after all.

Aniston's tits will never go south.
They're implants.
She has the same implants as that butt-ugly Spelling girl -- whatshername Spelling.

Billboards, magazines, whatever. They aren't forced to accept all these things telling them they're fat or ugly or have some not so fresh feeling. Just ignore it. Isn't arguing that they're unable to resist media images sort of the same as arguing that they're helpless little waifs who can't think for themselves and have to be protected from the big bad world?

"I am woman, hear me whimper?"

Don't like what the magazine says? Don't read it.
Don't like the billboard? Don't look at it.
TV? Yeah, right. The women are almost universally Einsteins with tits and the men are bumbling idiots.
A five year old child only has to touch a hot stovetop once to know he doesn't want to do it again. Why can't women learn the same thing in regard to these hurtful images?

And "the wrong f-word" was referencing fellatio, not that women should be whipping guys. That costs extra.

I believe her name was Tori "Chicken Chest" Spelling.

She with the Mosquito bites for tits.

A five year old child only has to touch a hot stovetop once to know he doesn't want to do it again. Why can't women learn the same thing in regard to these hurtful images?

And now we're to the part of the act where I bash my head against the desk over and over because, dear Lord Floppington, I have no idea. I agree with you that a five-year-old child has more sense in that regard. I think any woman who ever pays sweet cold hard cash for magazines like Marie Claire would be better off just buying a gun and blowing her brains out. Just get it over with. Skip the eating disorder and the depression and the anxiety and just GO.

But a lot of women buy this stuff anyhow. Sometimes it's fun to look at the pretty pictures or whatever. I've bought too many copies myself.

I do have one tiny idea as to why it continues: Maybe it's because, if you're a heterosexual woman at least, it's kind of a no-win. Ignore society's beauty standards too much--wear whatever's comfortable, give up shaving, quit doing your hair, "eat what you want and die like a man"--and you wind up treated like the big ugly man-hating dyke who, let's face it, you're slowly starting to become anyway.

It's easy to say "so just ignore it all," but then what are you gonna do with the women who actually do that, send them all to the Home for Ugly Bitches?

Actually, your average Derbyshire would probably be completely comfortable with that. But it's not real practical.

Right on, Floppington. The chicks at Feministe had a hilarious post a few months ago complaining about how awful it is that women feel pressured to use cellulite cream.

The punchline? Both of them admitted to having used the cream themselves.

Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't a philosophy based on empowerment actually, you know, empower you? If even the more intelligent and committed devotees like the Feministers can't be persuaded to put down the ass cream, then I think feminism has itself a little problem. Either that, or the whole empowerment rap is just a ruse and the real purpose of the ideology (at least as it pertains to beauty standards) is to allow women to happily indulge all their anti-feminist beautification rituals and then simply bitch about how they were "pressured" into it.

Okay, ilyka. That's two sites I have gone to that I didn't need to visit. The weirdo/suicide girl and the Mooncup (it's re-usable, you know!)

ilyka, if women could band together and all agree to stop doing this stuff, men would be presented with a fait accompli. We'd have to settle for what's presented to us.

But women can't band together. This is the primar (only?) thing keeping male privilege alive: women competing with each other.

If I could change it all, I would. As it is, I'm glad I'm male.

Cooties. No tag-backs.

(it's re-usable, you know!)

I know! I'm totally reducing landfill waste AND honoring Gaia (when it's full, I always pour the contents out on the lawn to make it "hallowed ground").

There's a peculiar confusion going on here--between 'feminism' and 'I want to be able to have sex with desirable guys at any time in my life--and without making any effort to make myself desirable to them'. Witness Maureen Dowd--it's been happening a lot lately.

Look, biology is simply unfair to women in certain respects--I suppose optimistic leftists have believed for years that there ARE no real biological imperatives, only societal norms that need to be overcome--but it has been documented that women and men are simply turned on by fundamentally different qualities in their partners. Women are attracted by what they see, but also by the 'narrative' they attach to it--a plain man who happens to be an architect, a downright ugly man with a magnetic personality, will get far more attention from the opposite sex than a plain but charming woman, or an ugly woman who's also a Nobel Prize winner. Men watch porn to get off--which (aside from the timeless 'that's when she turned around and noticed that the cable guy had dropped his pants' scenario) is notoriously narrative free. Women, on the other hand, read romance novels and watch soap operas--and though both of these include sometimes explicitly sexual material, this material occurs within a context, in a story. Younger women find older men attractive for years past the time that most older women are no longer attractive to younger men--and we're not just talking about rich guys like Hef who can pay almost anyone to do almost anything--we're talking about respected scientists, academics, architects (Frank Lloyd Wright, anyone?), artists (Picasso?), politicians (Kissinger?) whose charisma, reputation, power, talent, etc. attract women even less than half their age.

It's fair for a woman to expect to get a job for which she is the most qualified applicant, and to be paid as much for it as a man doing the same job would be--she is only, after all, asking a man's BRAIN to be feminist (in the old-fashioned egalitarian sense). Asking a man's COCK to be 'feminist' (in the modern 'feminism as total wish-fulfillment' sense), however, is a somewhat trickier proposition--as they say, it 'bloweth where it listeth, and no man knoweth whence it cometh or whither it goeth'.

So to speak.

Certainly, a woman can also fairly ask that a man not put it anywhere it hasn't actually been invited--but it's a bit monomanical to insist, further, on controlling precisely who it will and will not stand to attention for.

The deja vu sensation begins to overwhelm. Now it's the guy with the wink and the grin and the "Sorry, ladies! But, you know--that darned science! That pesky biology! My wee twitching mischievous peter!" Oh, and let's not forget the most important part, more important than the winking and the grinning and the excusing: The dragging in of all the extraneous bullshit that no one in the thread has ever actually said, particularly:

but it's a bit monomanical to insist, further, on controlling precisely who it will and will not stand to attention for.

What? What's that? Something about "but I never" . . . ?

Sure, Alex. Sure you didn't.

Really, it's okay. You're among friends. You can share. Besides, this has been happening a lot lately. Witness Maureen Dowd.

No one is going to judge you, least of all me and my Mooncup.

Well, fuck. I wander off looking at shiny objects and there's a whole new battle of the sexes here! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Ilyka, what the hell is a Mooncup? I didn't click the link, I'm lazy and prone to surfing when I do. Sounds like some kinda kooky Wicca thing (Gaia and all).

I WAS JUST GOING TO BED!!!!!!

serves me right...off to read this whole dumb thread...

Aw c'mon, Beth, even Bart clicked it.

Sure, he was kind of sorry after, but he'll heal. And so will you.

It just takes time.

Get outta here, Mac, and write something at the site, wouldja? WTF! ;-P
(Did you notice Fred Phelps called me an anti-Christmas moonbat today? w00t! Dick.)

OK, Ilyka, I got lost again. I was clicking shiny stuff. Again. Blog ADHD. Alex's comment was too long so I wandered off.

"3 days after using my mooncup for the first time and I want to tell the world what they are missing out on! I keep forgetting I'm even on my period! I was dubious at first but now I love it and am never letting it go! thank you sooo much!
I'm telling as many as possible, I have posted a thread on the forum I regularly visit, and am telling all my friends. More people should know about this, I want them to know it's possible to actually enjoy having a period!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

What. A. Loser!

Hey, did I kill the thread now with the Mooncup testimonial quote? Damn.

DANG! I was just copying and pasting that.

stupid-doing-something-before–I-do jerk

and I still get no credit for that Christmas lights thing. none.

Did too! I said "thanks Mac!" Ingrate!

What. A. Loser!

But it's possible! I'm telling you, it's possible to actually enjoy having a period! I read it on the internet!

This is my favorite part:

You will probably find that you need to empty your Mooncup less frequently than you currently replace towels or tampons.

(I know, I know: It's just going to turn out that this is how the Brits refer to sanitary napkins [so no corrections please, Knemon]. Still, further proof that the best thing we ever did was ditch those people.)

Um, Ace?

Seriously, ladies, you're not having orgasms.

Is that a confession? All that work you did over the last two days getting brownie points with us women, and then you go with that confession? Damn.

::ducking::

that's it. SIGN ME UP

Would you be interested in promoting the Mooncup? Earn 20%. Get paid every month you have accrued £20 or more. Just link to us with the special link we give you when you register as an affiliate.

God, I love the internets

this is how the Brits refer to sanitary napkins

That reminds me, I'm smoking a fag right now, too.

Towels. Heh.

Look at how the d00ds all ran away! They freaked out at the thought of BLOOD! Can you imagine dudes ragging? Laid up in bed for a week, whining, "oh my God, I'm dying!!! Somebody get me a pilloooowww and a glass of water!? I need hospitalization!"

OK, all the dudes except Mac. He was busy looking for photo instructions at the Mooncup site.

Sell it, Mac. Sell it. MooncupMac.com is available as of this writing.

I guess this thread is gonna have to wake up in the morning. FLAME WAR...be here, chickenshit boys, so I can kick your bitchy little asses around!

please.

MacMooncup.com

"Insanely Great" I don't sell the bacon, I sell the sizzle, you know.

maybe the iMoonCupPod. 10,000 songs in your crotch. all with the added benefit of continuously getting smaller and smaller...wait, that might not be such a good thing.

Boys vs. Girls? Well, I'll play on the boys' team a little bit longer...

Women don't want men to judge them for their looks, and are rather bitter about it. Which is quite understandable, of course, since they've experienced it their whole lives.

In part, the negative reaction that some women have been getting from the guys here is just that the guys want to be able to make a few off-color jokes without being scolded. But some of it has got to be coming from the fact that a lot of guys have in fact been "alpha-maled" by guys who for real and for true act like Chris Klein.

Heterosexual women must hate watching the guys all fawn over the vapid blonde, but guess what, most guys (particularly the dorks who hang out here) have had the same situation in reverse. Only, it wasn't just the guys' looks; more often it's his wallet and his ability to behave like Chris Klein.

I'm sorry, but it's true (to quote Def Leppard). Does that make the reverse OK? Certainly not. But let's not pretend that it's a simple matter of women being the unique victims of human superficiality, either.

And at the end of the day, it's all just jokes. Come on. The first thing Ace said about Chris Klein was, "Oh, man. He's in dire need of a disfiguring car accident of some sort."

I really don't want to be a jerk or make anybody feel unwelcome or anything. Well, except for Bart. And maybe Ace and Allah. And that Dave character. And Monty. And Geoff. And certainly Knemon. And VRWC Agent. And Compos. And Michael. And...

Aw, screw it. I've got fantasy football to play.

Can you imagine dudes ragging? Laid up in bed for a week, whining, "oh my God, I'm dying!!! Somebody get me a pilloooowww and a glass of water!? I need hospitalization!"

Beth, you are truly an evil piece of bitchfuck. God bless you.

But in fairness, I don't think they ran away so much as they went to bed. It's, uh, late. And maybe some of them have jobs to go to in the morning. Maybe some of them work really hard to save their money to spend on that special someone, who--

Okay, stop me. Stop me before I go full-tilt bitchfuck with this.

I'm actually comfortable with the sex/success symbol stereotypes. I think it works well with sexually di-morphic species.

and stuff. it's 4, that's as much as I can muster with this little sleep.

"And certainly Knemon."

Hey!

Actually, thanks. I'm finally part of the club, for better or worse.

I know, if we were the Goonies, I'd be Chunk.

But it's something. Don't take that away from me.

Look at how the d00ds all ran away! They freaked out at the thought of BLOOD!

I doubt it, Beth. In fact, I bet that women tend to be more freaked out by their quinnies and menstrual fluid than men are.

I know a woman who has never masturbated because she thinks that touching "it" is gross. And in this case, I'm pretty damn sure she's telling the truth.

Look how insecure women are about men going down on them. They think it's something nasty.

Your menstrual blood comment didn't scare the men away. I guarantee it. Well, maybe a few of them, but not most of them. Grown-up men who have lived with a girlfriend or wife just generally aren't too worried about it. It's not actually even blood, for the most part.

But perhaps that the guys here could have a discussion about menstruation so nasty it would drive you off? Hmm...

By the way, integrity compels me to admit that I don't like going to the store to buy tampons. Not because it has to do with menstruation, but just because I'm afraid Ace will see me there and start calling me a p-whipped little bitch. (In which case, no spare change for you, Ace!)

I think mostly the men left...cause it's 4:30 in the FRICK'N MORNING!!!!!

just my opinion...though...

(In which case, no spare change for you, Ace!)

That's cruel, man. The dude needs vodka.

I'm finally part of the club, for better or worse.

No, Knemon. This club is part of you.

if we were the Goonies, I'd be Chunk.

Don't flatter yourself. If we were the Goonies, you'd be Sloth.

I'm tired of being oppressed by those square jawed models they use in shaving commercials.

Huh. Missed this whole thing. I have a few questions/observations:

1) Do women really fawn all over guys like Chris Klein, or is that one of those guy-myths? I've seen it happen from time to time, but I guarantee you that for every vapid, self-esteemless female turning herself into a concubine for a jerkoff there are ten normal women who are saying "what a shit." I think you'll find that "not acting like a shit" (hint: trash-talking women as wallet-obsessed whores is one example) is actually much more attractive to normal women.

2) I admit few normal women look like Angelina Jolie -- or even (insert name of some tiny little starlet who looks like a stick with collagened lips and fake boobs stuck on). Most normal women have some sort of physical flaw, like an asymmetrical number of freckles. Also the aforementioned dislike of being trash-talked. Inexplicable I know but there you are.

3) Jennifer Anniston looked fine in that one shot I saw of her. She didn't look old and saggy. I don't know why Derbyshire doesn't simply admit he prefers women who look like young boys as closely as possible (ie, are slender and small-breasted, as most Chinese women are). But I believe he as a) problems with ho-mo-sexuality, and 2) can never resist shaking the bars of the monkey cage. That's the Derb, take him for all in all, &c.

4) I feel for those women who did not have the freeing experience of growing up in Miami in the Seventies. That was truly and time and a place where it didn't matter what a woman looked like - she could be totally hot, or a four-bagger -- and men would be all over her like white on rice. Whether she wanted them to be or not, whether she was single or married, looking or not looking, whether all she wanted to do was walk down the fucking street to the goddam grocery store without five human males sniffing at her crotch. I've heard from frustrated men who wonder why they can't find a girl in Miami, and it's probably not so much that they can't get any of the hot models that infest South Beach to so much as look at them as the fact that many women there have had one too many experiences in which they went out to pick up the morning paper in their ratty old robes with their hair up in curlers only to have the toothless old Hispanic man who trims the hedges hiss at her over the fence and call her "Mami." (Which is a puzzling Latin come-on term.)

5) Do not try hissing at women and calling them "Mami" in your home town. It won't work there either.

I'm really sorry I missed this last night.

ok, I'm lying.

No, you're just communicating like a typical woman.

*duck*

Count on Andrea to come in and write just what I wanted to write, except better.

Females= life support system for a vagina

I mean, seriously, when those lips start moving and she wants to "talk", I'm like thanks for the attention, but get outta my face.

No, you're just communicating like a typical woman

huh uh. I admitted it.

BOY MEETS GIRL BOY KISSES GIRL GIRL SOCKS BOY TRUE LOVE

*applause*

That guy never disappoints.

lauraw, you're right. how often do you read and wonder "what the hell"?

and I mean that in a good way

Hey, haven't been following the boys vs girls "tit for tat" going on here. But this all started over John Derbyshire (a "dirty old man"?) saying that 15 year olds have nice breasts?
Did anyone else notice that the "orgasm video game" is being designed for, almost certainly, 13 year olds (or younger)!
It's a Tamagotchi to teach young girls how to play with themselves! Clearly it's being designed with childen in mind. (by a woman I might add.)
http://www.moboid.com/lapis/LapisPres.htm

"Can you imagine dudes ragging? Laid up in bed for a week, whining, "oh my God, I'm dying!!! Somebody get me a pilloooowww and a glass of water!? I need hospitalization!"

Don't start. Men get shot with bullets more often than women. Suck up your monthly oozing, or else we'll have to balance the ledger of lead.

And before anyone starts with that "You don't know what it's like to have to have babies and suffer through childbirth!" deal, here's a solution: stick with anal, ladies.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Yeah, stick with anal, ladies; Dave at Wherever ought to know.

BOY MEETS GIRL BOY KISSES GIRL GIRL SOCKS BOY TRUE LOVE

You've got to love the simplicity. It's profound, really. I like to think of Spurwing Plover as Forrest Gump, Chuncey Gardener*, and the guy from Sling Blade all rolled into one.

*Chauncy Gardener was the main character from Being There.

How about women get to punch guys in the nuts once a month and we call it even?

I was a late bloomer, pubescently speaking. I didn't begin getting my menses until I was a freshman in high school.

Of course, at that time, I was dating a senior. And she was hot.

How about women get to punch guys in the nuts once a month and we call it even?

Only once? Wow things are looking up.

Count on Andrea to come in and write just what I wanted to write

For Andrea/Sue, then:

1. I think you'll find that "not acting like a shit" (hint: trash-talking women as wallet-obsessed whores is one example) is actually much more attractive to normal women.

Well, duh. Figure that's one reason most guys don't actually act that way. It's the bizarre exceptions to the general rule that baffle us so much. An analogous situation are the unattractive bitchy women who land good looking rich husbands.

2. Most normal women have some sort of physical flaw, like an asymmetrical number of freckles. Also the aforementioned dislike of being trash-talked.

FWIW, most people here have no idea what other people here look like and don't much care. AFAIK, nobody is pursuing anybody and if you feel you have been personally trashed it is something to take up with a professional. I do note, though, that the women here don't really seem to have much of a problem with saying or hearing that Mrs. Derbyshire, an actual individual, looks like a boy, etc.

3. I don't know why Derbyshire doesn't simply admit he prefers women who look like young boys as closely as possible (ie, are slender and small-breasted, as most Chinese women are). But I believe he as a) problems with ho-mo-sexuality, and 2) can never resist shaking the bars of the monkey cage.

Funny that while complaining about men you would diss the femininity of so many women. But if it's a chance to call Derb a latent homo, it's worth it? This is pretty consistent with the way I've heard women talk about each other in real life, even without the need to take a shot at someone else, so I'm not surprised.

4. many women there have had one too many experiences in which they went out to pick up the morning paper in their ratty old robes with their hair up in curlers only to have the toothless old Hispanic man who trims the hedges hiss at her over the fence and call her "Mami."

Many women will complain when they get all the unwanted attention, and then complain more bitterly - blaming men all the way -- when it stops. What can ya do?

BTW, I still haven't seen anything that changed my reading of Derbyshire. He said breasts tend to succumb to gravity after 20 and that going out of his way to oogle JA's rack struck him as not worth the effort. He didn't say other features peak before 21, that he was drawn to 16 y/o's, that he didn't find his wife attractive, that 15 y/o's were fair game or even that women who "look like boys" appeal to him.

All of that seems to be a bit of angry and unwarranted attribution based on his having dared to say a woman's looks can fade at all. Well, they can and they do. And so do men's. That's Just.The Way.It Is. And you can either (1) mature in your own tastes to age-appropriate criteria (in which case he can hardly be blamed for not rushing out to oogle JA's very shapely rack); (2) date outside your age range; or (3) give it up. Oh, yes. And complain bitterly about the opposite sex, just as it has always been.

But come on, let's give Andrea her due.

That bit about the elderly gardener hissing "Mami" was some funny stuff.

Ya, the Mami stuff makes up for Andrea's position on the Harriet Miers nomination.

Oops, did I scratch an old wound?

Do I owe someone a dollar?

Oh, Jesus, VRWC, who started this crap? Not Andrea, not Sue, not any of the women. All they did is speak up after the 1000 slagging comment directed towards women, excused as TRUTH or a “just joking.” And like some of the others here, you seem to think it's funny until it's directed back at men. So, be a man and accept the 979 “your dick is small” comments still owed and we'll call a truce.

How about women get to punch guys in the nuts once a month and we call it even?

Does that mean we get to wear them for a change?

"What? What's that? Something about "but I never" . . . ?"

You must be hearing things, Ilyka. :)

Though I might add an addendum about avocados.

Anyhow. My point simply was, 'feminism' doesn't promise that a woman won't be alone. It does not promise that, if she finds one, her husband, boyfriend, or lover will be attractive, sensitive, supportive, etc. It simply allows men and women equal freedom to make themselves miserable. Or not. Feminism is primarily the force which gave women the right to live alone--for as long as they choose--forever, in fact, if it suits them! Just as, indeed, men who don't care to change themselves to suit another person's whims have done for years. I have a good friend (male) who's a physicist--he's overweight and not in the habit of bathing regularly. He's also both a thoroughly decent human being and a brilliant scientist. He has no girlfriend (or boyfriend, for that matter) and doesn't anticipate having one--and he doesn't get offers. But he has plenty of friends of both sexes who enjoy his company and he's good at what he does. He's happy, and has every reason to be.

Now--was Derb being an asshole? Of course he was--while it IS unfair to fault a man--a person of any sort--because that person happens not to be attracted to a certain age/sex/etc. of other person; it is NOT unfair to think Derb could have been (dare I say it) a gentleman and kept his opinion to himself. It's not nice to hurt people's feelings and I'm not excusing him nor approving of him. But WHY IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU CARE WHAT A WEIRD LITTLE GNOME LIKE DERB THINKS OF WOMEN YOUR AGE? Or, for that matter, some pathetic 300 lb loser in front of his home computer?

Or, for that matter, some pathetic 300 lb loser in front of his home computer?

Excuse me?

I'm down to a positively svelte 250 lbs now.

I disagree with a few comments made here. One was that women don't want men to judge them for their looks. Attractive women sure do. And that's just the truth. You have to get the attention first before you can meet someone after all.

At first I was kinda ticked at what Derbyshire said. But then I got to thinking about it. (ladies, don't hurt me) but it's true. We don't look as good naked after 35 than we did before. No matter how hard we try. (especially after having children)

I read this somewhere and I have always thought it was true. "When did I stop looking good and start looking good for my age? "

Also, I knew a beautiful woman in her early 40's say to me once that "aging is harder on beautiful women, we are so use to the attention. The less pretty girls never had the attention to lose." She was greek too and had an accent which made it even funnier to hear.

Even the Bible refers to beauty fading, but the goodness in us never fades. So what if we don't look as good as we did in our 20's? There really is so much more to life. Facing the truth only helps us to age gracefully.

ladies, ladies, ladies.....

Beer.
The great equalizer.

We don't look as good naked after 35 than we did before. No matter how hard we try. (especially after having children)

But in order to...nope. Can't do it.

Can't make the first comment that comes to mind.

But I can allude to it - best evidence rule.

Sorry.

I am not saying this under duress, but ...

Skinny, man-girls don't do it for me anymore. I like curves. I like older women. I find them more compelling.

But maybe that's my Darwin gene, being sure that I've got a date when all of the PYTs are being gang tackled by toothless Miami gardeners as they stroll down the dairy aisle in pursuit of low-fat, non-carb, real fruit yogurt.

Also, I knew a beautiful woman in her early 40's say to me once that "aging is harder on beautiful women, we are so use to the attention. The less pretty girls never had the attention to lose."

That's so hardcore, I can't even believe it.

Great, DDG. Your mention of "PYT" made me think of that stupid Michael Jackson song and now it's stuck in my head.

Slub,

Some people think that's sadistic. And some people are right.

My favorite comment on double standards came from a woman I used to be involved with, who was used to getting a fair amount of attention. During one of our many arguments I pointed out that she made it pretty hard for me to be nice to her, and she flared up and said: “The way I treat you has got nothing to do with the way I expect you to treat me!"

At first I was kinda ticked at what Derbyshire said. But then I got to thinking about it. (ladies, don't hurt me) but it's true. We don't look as good naked after 35 than we did before. No matter how hard we try. (especially after having children)

It's not the "we don't look as good at 35 as we did at 25" thing I have a problem with. Derby pretty much said (or very strongly implied) that once we get past 20, we're not worth looking at, but at 15 it's certainly okay to ogle us.

I don't know about you, but if that was my husband talking, I'd be kicking his ass out of the house. Oh sure, he looks at the bikini-clad homewreckers at the beach - I know of the male inclination for visual stimulation, even though I don't fully understand it - but if he insisted on blathering on at length about the "bristols" on some high school teeny bopper there, he'd better learn how to spell "alimony" and write lots of zeroes every month.

“The way I treat you has got nothing to do with the way I expect you to treat me!"

And that boys in girls is the truth.

Honey should I wear this tie with this shirt?
No, that combo is stupid and it looks horrible on you.
Ok

Honey do these pants make me look fat?
Um, er, sorta.
You miserable bastard! I will now make your life a living hell for the next 4 days. Die, it will be easier on you.

All they did is speak up after the 1000 slagging comment directed towards women, excused as TRUTH or a “just joking.” And like some of the others here, you seem to think it's funny until it's directed back at men.

I didn't notice a serious comment "slagging" women, Josie. Most of the men here are pretty fond of them. I did notice a bizarre tendency to put words in Derbyshire's mouth and a daur humorlessness from a FEW of the women. (Some seem to maintain their sense of humor just fine; it must be a self-confidence thing.)

As for taking a joke, if you think an anonymous poster's comments about my unseen but tragically small endowment rang as serious, or at least worthy of serious attention, you just aren't paying attention. We're also used to the "you guys are all so shallow" rap and all that noise. We get it all the time and even play off it.

If we took you as seriously in your apparently sincere complaining as you take us even in good humored ribbing, this would become a pretty bitter exchange. Fortunately, lots of us have our senses of humor intact and something as well travelled as the War Between the Sexes isn't likely to throw us off.

Missed all this. But I'm guessing....

That VRWC Agent woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Sorry to make you clutch your pearls, V.

Oh, and I'd like to apologize to Bart for not curling up into a fetal position and sobbing my heart out for days at the Dire Shock to Our Nation that was the Harriet Miers nomination. What can I say, I had other things to think about. See, there was this hangnail I had... those are such a bitch.

Derby pretty much said (or very strongly implied) that once we get past 20, we're not worth looking at, but at 15 it's certainly okay to ogle us.

Please provide the offending quote, Sue. That is decidedly not what I read.

Unless, of course, you consider women as nothing more than breasts and judge them by sag. Then I could see the confusion.

At first I was kinda ticked at what Derbyshire said. But then I got to thinking about it. (ladies, don't hurt me) but it's true. We don't look as good naked after 35 than we did before.

To be fair, RWS, he said that about both sexes. And I'll add my own published heresy: a lot of us didn't look so great before that, either.

Sorry to make you clutch your pearls, V.

That's OK. On a cold morning it's a welcome feeling. ;-)

Way to stand behind your position, Andrea. Even Ms. Miers saw the light and admitted her nomination was a fiasco.

No thanks to the mamby-pamby wait and see conservatives (see Hugh Hewitt), we now have a real nominee for the Court.

Attractive women sure do. And that's just the truth. You have to get the attention first before you can meet someone after all.

Especially if you've got nothing else to bring to the table. The girl has to bring something to the table.

Derby pretty much said (or very strongly implied) that once we get past 20, we're not worth looking at, but at 15 it's certainly okay to ogle us.

I hereby vow to ogle all the female commenters twice as much to make up for Derbyshire's churlish attitude. Anything to keep the peace.

The great Allah reads my comments!!!! ..;-)

It was hardcore and I could hardlly believe she said it. But I promise..it's true.

Last time I saw her she was considering a facelift. Something I find HORRID. She will get the attention alright, just not the kind she expects.

but if he insisted on blathering on at length about the "bristols" on some high school teeny bopper there, he'd better learn how to spell "alimony" and write lots of zeroes every month.

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

Facelifts are bad. Horrifying and evil.

They make women and men who get them look terrible and cause others to look at them not with admiration, but with pity.

They make women and men who get them look terrible and cause others to look at them not with admiration, but with pity.

Yeah, like the Snickers comb over guy.

It's only satisfying if you eat it.

Unless, of course, you consider women as nothing more than breasts and judge them by sag. Then I could see the confusion.

If by "you" you mean "Derbyshire," that's exactly how I read it.

"Way to stand behind your position, Andrea. "

You mean my position that I didn't give a shit one way or the other but thought that the anti-Miers hysterics were hilarious? Yeah, that's what I meant to do -- glad I succeeded.

But I promise..it's true.

Your promises don't mean shit. If 10 men asserted that Hitler "wasn't so bad" while 30 women asserted that yes, actually, he was, you'd promise that "Hitler wasn't so bad" was true. This is because you're a total whore. No one goes to a whore for the truth, cupcake.

Now let's see if I earn any hardcore points for saying what everyone thinks anyway. I won't be holding my breath.

I didn't notice a serious comment "slagging" women, Josie. Most of the men here are pretty fond of them.

Of course, you wouldn't Vast. Whether the posters here are fond of women or not wasn't the issue. The criticism was of the constant ragging on women while becoming quite pissy when your own numerous faults are barely mentioned in rebuttal.

As for taking a joke, if you think an anonymous poster's comments about my unseen but tragically small endowment rang as serious, or at least worthy of serious attention, you just aren't paying attention.

If it weren't, you wouldn't have brought it up. And frankly, I was being gentle. It certainly wasn't tit for tat because as I said earlier, I would have close to a thousand cheap shots to go.

We're also used to the "you guys are all so shallow" rap and all that noise. We get it all the time and even play off it.

From who? This place has become pretty much the Ace of Spades Homo LifeStyle HQ. And noise is a bunch of undoubtedly overweight, out of shape, balding, socially misfit, middle age men, verbalizing their false belief that they sit at home every Saturday night because of their, cough, “standards.”

If we took you as seriously in your apparently sincere complaining as you take us even in good humored ribbing, this would become a pretty bitter exchange. Fortunately, lots of us have our senses of humor intact and something as well travelled as the War Between the Sexes isn't likely to throw us off.

What a crock. Men are the worse in taking criticism or jokes when the joke is them. And no, constantly ragging on women's looks and ages is not a sign of a good sense of humor.

ilyka?

Geeze.

I was referring to what the woman said to me. Who got your panties in a wad?

Not to get all Derbyshire on y'all, but some of the ladies commenting here (I won't mention any names, but they include Sandy Berger) need to get laid.

No one goes to a whore for the truth, cupcake.

If you're trying to pick an argument with RWS, I'm all in favor of it. But please try to at least make sense. Or, drop the pretense and just call her a whore without looking for justification. You know, the way I talk about Ace. But your post, as written, is incoherent.

Suggested re-write: "You're such a whore, RWS!" Simple, to the point, and you don't tangle yourself up in knots trying that whole "logic" thing.

It's girl-on-girl rhetorical mud wrestling at AOSHQ! Line up outside the door ....

No one goes to a whore for the truth

I disagree. Whores can be remarkably honest. For example, you know what their job is up front, what services they provide, how much they charge, and that you're not the only one receiving those services. This is not necessarily true of someone you're dating.

Oh, it made sense alright.

This place has become pretty much the Ace of Spades Homo LifeStyle HQ. And noise is a bunch of undoubtedly overweight, out of shape, balding, socially misfit, middle age men, verbalizing their false belief that they sit at home every Saturday night because of their, cough, "standards."

Yes, Josie. Yes!!!

It's about friggin' time you stopped your incessant whining and started talking smack. You have potential.

Yeah, well, you're one of the head homos, sandy. :)

You get that feeling too, Josie?

Now let's see if I earn any hardcore points for saying what everyone thinks anyway. I won't be holding my breath.

Ah, well....your reaction sure was instant visceral anger, how's that?
I wasn't so terribly pleased with RWS' post but I guess I can see both sides of the thing.

The real flipside of what that lady said to RWS; less-than-gorgeous girls have coped with not being born 'lucky' long ago. And their self-worth is not indexed to anything that can be diminished with age.

As far as having something to 'bring to the table,' good looks are an asset. Just ask any millionaire's trophy wife.
Looking great is a meal ticket. So naturally when their beauty goes, their self-worth goes with it, if they haven't done anything else to enrich their inner life.

...and of course, if they aren't truly loved.

So naturally when their beauty goes, their self-worth goes with it

I must have been reading a different thread when this whole thing began cause I coulda sworn this was the jist of the whole thing regarding CK. He is a shallow, arrogant pretty boy who has the soul of a rock and when his 15 minutes are up he's done. Somehow this spiraled into sad, middle aged, out of shape homo men hating on women.

Not that it hasn't been entertaining mind you.

Did you good women miss this part of my comment:

Even the Bible refers to beauty fading, but the goodness in us never fades. So what if we don't look as good as we did in our 20's? There really is so much more to life. Facing the truth only helps us to age gracefully.

What part of that are we disagreeing on?

...and of course, if they aren't truly loved.

I love my trophy wife, what's-her-name, with all my heart and soul.

And I agree completely about "bringing something else to the table." And I agree with Lauraw's comment on self worth and certainly about being loved.

Why do you think these women want to get facelifts? They have only their beauty to count on.

Maybe growing up with only brothers plus my father and having a hubby and 3 boys (not to mention ALL their friends) I may ignore more unsuitable talk about women out of habit. Which isn't a good thing I suppose. But it was either ignore or BITCH all the time. I chose ignore.

Chin up, chickie.

There's no shame in being gorgeous.

That's what I always tell myself.

Its like, my tantrum.

sorry, meant to say mantrum.

It really pains me (further) to see this kind of crazy talk on AoS.
Self-worth.
Misogyny.
Homophobia.

What's next, Ace gonna tell us all about Kwanza?

Once again, late to the party. Worse, after talking trash at 4am and saying y'all would chicken out. HAHAHHAHHAAA That's what I get for oversleeping.

Look how insecure women are about men going down on them. They think it's something nasty.

"Women?" Dontcha mean those 15-20 year-old girls? I'm thinkin' maybe you might wanna change the demographic makeup of your prey, dude. Just sayin'.

Your menstrual blood comment didn't scare the men away. I guarantee it.

Sorry, I was just being a smartass. It happens. Like, always.

I'm kinda surprised nobody's mentioned bringing dinner "to the table." ;-P

Why do you think these women want to get facelifts? They have only their beauty to count on.

Not necessarily, RWS. I know plenty of women who have a LOT more than their beauty (brains, emotional maturity, etc.) but they do it anyway...USUALLY because their middle-aged husbands are something like Derbyshire. Unattractive oafs who go for the dumb young chicks--usually because their wallets are the attraction, in these cases. (You have to have some money laying around for that facelift, after all.) Or alternatively, the inattentive husbands who would rather sit on their fat asses watching bad TV or spend WAY too much time at the office because they've lost interest (remember the visual aspect?). It happens. I'm pretty sure at least half of my mother's bored, rich, intelligent friends have had work done for these reasons.

lauraw, no...you meant tantrum!!..;-)

I can see you stamping your foot! and saying,.."There is no shame in my being gorgeous!!!"

Just to be clear, I didn't mean to imply anything about my looks!! I am well past any stage of getting second looks. I'm 44 for God's sake. Which is why I wrote the "looking good for your age" comment. And that is only achieved through maybeline and Loreal...;-)

Also, I suspect menopause has a lot to do with the plastic surgery thing. Talk about a reminder that you're not so young any more.

I'm kinda surprised nobody's mentioned bringing dinner "to the table." ;-P

I'm ashamed to admit that I don't get it. What's this a euphemism for?

Beth,

But that is a terrible reason! And isn't that counting on their looks to keep their husbands happy?

I didn't mean to be judgemental about the women who have them. Believe it or not, my mom had one after my Dad died. She wanted to date again at 50. So I guess she had her reasons. But I just can't see going under the knife for that.

Sandy,

ilyka said that the beautiful woman "must being something else to the table."

Beth was surprised one of the boys didn't say "How about bringing dinner to the table." Heh.

Or alternatively, the inattentive husbands who would rather sit on their fat asses watching bad TV or spend WAY too much time at the office because they've lost interest (remember the visual aspect?).

In all seriousness, I think that relationship tension and male troubles getting the little guy going are a more common explanation for this than the woman's supposedly fading looks. If he could replace his wife's body with that of a hot 20-year old, it'd probably revitalize things for a month or two, then it'd be back to the TV and the late nights at the office.

Facelifts aren't gonna buy passion. A healthy diet, a little exercise, and actually enjoying each other's company outside of bed will do far more for a couple's love life than cosmetic surgery.

No hard feelings, RWS--just trying to lively up the thread a little. I mean, which do you think these guys would rather read:

1. A coma-inducing discussion of John "I Like Math" Derbyshire's sexual preferences, or

2. A bitchfight?

I think we both know the answer to that one.

LauraW:

As far as having something to 'bring to the table,' good looks are an asset. Just ask any millionaire's trophy wife. Looking great is a meal ticket.

Exactly--and nothing wrong with that. God only gave so many cards to the pretty but vacant. You gotta play the hand you're dealt.

A healthy diet, a little exercise, and actually enjoying each other's company outside of bed will do far more for a couple's love life than cosmetic surgery.

Good grief. You think I don't know this? Trust me: any woman who goes for surgery to improve her appearance is already working on the rest of her body. And enjoying each other's company? Well, obviously. But when the company is more interested in the stupid TV or work, it's easier to SAY that. You're ignoring reality in favor of theory--the theory is valid, but life isn't always so neatly wrapped or explained by it.

It's a fact: men are initially attracted by looks, and I think we've all said something here to that effect. When the looks go, A LOT of men get bored, regardless of "the whole package." And when the wife/gf starts packing on the pounds, they will lose sexual interest as well. Midlife crises happen, y'know.

relationship tension and male troubles getting the little guy going are a more common explanation for this than the woman's supposedly fading looks

I TOTALLY agree with this, but you've got to concede those relationship troubles are as much the man's fault as the woman's--for whatever reason. Either way, sometimes losing one's looks starts relationship problems (man nagging the woman to lose weight through humiliation), sometimes it's money, sometimes it's something else. You just can't say that if SHE would exercise and eat healthy and/or be "enjoyable company" without expecting HIM to take some responsibility for the problems, too.

IMHO, that's the problem--WAY too many men expect the woman to be responsible for maintaining the healthy marriage or relationship--be the relationship manager, if you will--yet take no responsibility for their role in the situation. This isn't to say "the man (or the woman) has to change himself," it's saying, "pull your dumb fuckin' head out of your ass and start paying attention."
("your," figuratively speaking.)

Sue,

If by "you" you mean "Derbyshire," that's exactly how I read it.

Again, Sue, the offending quote? Because I'm open to the possibility you are right, but I'm much more open to the possibility you are reading things that aren't really there.

Josie,

The criticism was of the constant ragging on women while becoming quite pissy when your own numerous faults are barely mentioned in rebuttal.

If by "ragging" you mean joking and "your own numerous faults [being] barely mentioned" you mean humorless tirades by a very few posters who seem to have a problem with men in general, I'll concede the point. Otherwise, you're going to have to show me all of the "ragging" on women that spoiled your previously warm and sunny disposition.

As for my personal faults (you know, the ones that might actually offend me if you harped on them), they are numerous and so far have not been mentioned. I haven't gotten offended yet.

"if you think an anonymous poster's comments about my unseen but tragically small endowment rang as serious, or at least worthy of serious attention, you just aren't paying attention."

If it weren't, you wouldn't have brought it up.

Ah, actually, dear, I believe you were the one who brought it up. I only brushed it aside. Just like like now. Don't hate me just because I'm not taking the anonymous shots of a perfect stranger personally. If you really want to hurt me, you gotta bring something to the table. Otherwise, I'm like, thanks for the attention, but now get out of my face.

This place has become pretty much the Ace of Spades Homo LifeStyle HQ.

Not that there's anything wrong with that ...

And noise is a bunch of undoubtedly overweight, out of shape, balding, socially misfit, middle age men, verbalizing their false belief that they sit at home every Saturday night because of their, cough, “standards.”

That's certainly a theory. Personally, I sit at home because of my very true belief that for an extra $50, the hooker will make a house call. And bring pizza.

Men are the worse in taking criticism or jokes when the joke is them.

Not that I've noticed. Which guy is reacting so shrilly and personally to the overblown generalized "men are pigs" complaints that you feel he's giving you competition in your rage-off?

And no, constantly ragging on women's looks and ages is not a sign of a good sense of humor.

I'm sorry to see it touched a nerve for you. Not so sorry that I think anybody owes you an apology for saying that the older a woman gets the more her breasts are likely to sag, or that women tend to be much harder on each others' appearances than men, or that if we are lucky each of us will live long enough to see the bloom fade from the rose. Just sorry in that vague "feel your pain" kind of sense.

So far on this thread, I've seen small breasted women denounced as unfeminine (by women), any man attracted to such a woman called a latent homo (by women), RWS called a whore (by a woman), etc -- all to "defend" women"? Oh, right. And to denounce a reading of Derbyshire that nobody so far is able to back up with a quote.

Must be a chick thing. Next time you guys (or is it spelled "gyys" now? I forget ...) should try making it just a little bit funny so people can at least wonder if you're serious. Benefit of the doubt and all that.

Yeah, well, you're one of the head homos, sandy. :)

See? Much better. He's actually one of the anal homos; the head homos are guys like Michael. But at least you're making the effort.

I didn't mean to be judgemental about the women who have them.

I totally know you didn't! I'm just saying I can understand completely why women have face lifts in middle age. My own mother had TWO, and she didn't need them.

And honestly, after my divorce from a mini-penised cheating piece of hostile fucking sack of shit, if I were older and had a few more lines on my face, I'd probably have had one too. You'd be surprised what kind of things you'll consider in a bad marriage or after a divorce, even when those things you consider are totally unnecessary. I even thought about just packing up and moving to Italy or something. The need for drastic change sometimes leads to radical actions. Plastic surgery is sometimes the least radical.

I'm not fighting you about the issue, I'm just saying there's more to it than just having nothing more to offer.

Also, I suspect menopause has a lot to do with the plastic surgery thing.

So, guys go through menopause, too? Becaue I know a hell of alot of men who have had plastic surgery.

RWS called a whore (by a woman), etc -- all to "defend" women"?

I'm not here to defend women, VRWC. Thanks for lumping me in with anonymous, who barged into a thread about what a fucking tool Chris Klein is to rail against the Derb for reasons I haven't quite discerned yet.

I mean, other than that he's the Derb.

I just wanted to armchair-analyze Klein for a few moments like everyone else. Once in awhile I'd like some time off from railing against the patriarchy, okay? Let me just call Klein an overcompensating cheesedick in peace for a minute! Is that so wrong? Is that so much to ask?

But I'll say this much for anonymous, whoever-she-is has a point about this whole "sense of humor" thing. It's easy to tell someone else to get a sense of humor when you're making them the butt of your joke.

Facelifts aren't gonna buy passion. A healthy diet, a little exercise, and actually enjoying each other's company outside of bed will do far more for a couple's love life than cosmetic surgery.

A penile extension will help, too.

One other thing on the "geez, ladies, unwad your panties and get a sense of humor defense"--it's basically asking me to break out the ha-ha's for "black people talk like this, while white people talk like that" comedy. It's a cheap, overused device in the wrong hands, though like anything else in comedy, when done well, it can still be a joy.

But mostly, it's cheap and tacky. It's one rung up from prop comedy. I don't laugh at Gallagher; does this mean I need to fix my sense of humor? Or does it mean I'm just normal?

(or is it spelled "gyys" now? I forget ...)

Oh, here we go. HAR HAR. Every woman who doesn't appreciate John Fuckin' Derbyshire is what, lemme guess, a "feminazi?" Whatever. Pfft.

Thanks for lumping me in with anonymous, who barged into a thread about what a fucking tool Chris Klein is to rail against the Derb for reasons I haven't quite discerned yet.

I suggest you go reread those threads and not make shit up.

But I'll say this much for anonymous, whoever-she-is has a point about this whole "sense of humor" thing. It's easy to tell someone else to get a sense of humor when you're making them the butt of your joke.

Okay, you're off the hook.

Oh, here we go. HAR HAR.

Say Beth? Lookit this: It's a watermelon. And I'm gonna smack it with a hammer! HO HO HO!

Which guy is reacting so shrilly and personally to the overblown generalized "men are pigs" complaints that you feel he's giving you competition in your rage-off?

Actually men are pigs. And that's an insult to the pigs who back the men up.

Beth:
I should have been clearer. When it came to the diet and exercise part of my post, I was more talking about for the man, although it applies to women, too. And I should have added quitting smoking (that's right, Ace). It ties into my theory that what some women interpret as disinterest in them personally due to aging often has more to do with the man not physically feeling up to it. Notice how well viagra is selling.

A penile extension will help, too.

HA! HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA!!!!!!

Notice how well viagra is selling.

Yeah, among homos.

Comments threads, like many other forums, start to suck ass when they get taken over by the vaginas.

This is why the Ace Of Spades Lifestyle doesn't include women.
Well, maybe just the plastic kind.

Smile when you say that, beth.

What the f*&% is this? When did this turn into the Ace of Feministe HQ?

Women are oversensitive and stab each other in the back for petty reasons. Men are insensitive pigs. Really people, this stuff is so old, I'm expecting Garfield Ridge Dave to come in and note that any minute now.

If you're a woman who gets her panties in a bunch when John Freakin' Derbyshire states his preferences for perky breasts, I think you should step back and take a good look at why you're outraged. I'd compare this to the relatively few men who were outraged at the Dixie Chicks' celebration of spousal murder in their "Goodbye Earle" song.

Well, maybe just the plastic kind.

Dude, there's no such thing as "the plastic kind." I don't care how lifelike the material or how much makeup you put on it or what quality human-hair wig it wears, you're still fucking plastic. And you know what they say, guys who fuck plastic = FAGS.

Tommy Lee & Kid Rock are fags?

you're still fucking plastic

What do they say about women who ride their plastic dildos?

Actually, I take that back. That's unfairly insulting to homosexuals.

Homosexuals at least require their partners to have working circulatory systems.

But I think I may have just a shred more respect for furries than I do for guys who fuck dolls. At least you don't have to warm Teddy up with an electric blanket before you get ready to rumble.

Don't know, Jack. Ask your wife.

What do they say about women who ride their plastic dildos?

That they value efficiency?

Hey, if hating vaginas makes me a homo in your topsy-turvy world, that's OK with me, pervert.

Yeah, among homos.

Watch it, Josie. Bob Dole is in Dick Cheney's corner. When he moves, he slices like a f'n hammer. You're all on notice.

Gee that was a riot blanky. I won't ask about your husband. If there ever was one he obviously ended his pain.

Josie, I'd ask Jack's wife, but she's busy cooking Chris Klein's dinner right now.

And Jack, I wouldn't bother asking about Josie's husband. I'm pretty sure she's a college-age girl.

Jack, if I was a guy you would have laughed it off.

A penile extension will help, too.

When they develop "male enhancement" surgery that actually works and isn't ludicrously dangerous, men will pay for it in droves, I'm sure of it.

Beth:
"Women?" Dontcha mean those 15-20 year-old girls? I'm thinkin' maybe you might wanna change the demographic makeup of your prey, dude. Just sayin'.

Actually, I don't date young women. I tend to date around my own age. My last girlfriend (sigh...) was almost a decade older than me. "And she was hot too, by the way."

I wasn't talking about women I've been involved with. The women who I would date who are also willing to date me are a small, unrepresentative, and bizarre subset of society in general.

Again, Sue, the offending quote? Because I'm open to the possibility you are right, but I'm much more open to the possibility you are reading things that aren't really there.

Jesus Henry Christ on a hydraulic electroplated hermetically-sealed turbocharged pogo stick, I guess you need it completely fucking spelled out for you. Fine, I'll fisk the sonofabitch for you, it's the only fucking way you'll shut the fuck up about "quoot Sue quooooot."

Jennifer's bristols.

Translation: I'm a fucking limey who uses different funny words for titties.

Did I buy, or browse, a copy of the November 17 GQ, in order to get a look at Jennifer Aniston's bristols?** No, I didn't.

Translation: I am superior to mere mortal men, because I have no need to see Jennifer Aniston's breasts.

While I have no doubt that Ms. Aniston is a paragon of charm, wit, and intelligence,

Translation: I will be sarcastic by complimenting Jennifer Aniston, while at the same time implying that she is a daft bint (that's "stupid cunt" in my superior British vernacular.)

she is also 36 years old. Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust.

Translation: JA is not only a daft bint, but she's an old hag with saggy tits. I do not wish to soil these eyes of mine with less-than-perky tatas, because I am above all of that.

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff.

Translation: I will soften the shock of the upcoming sentences by saying gee whilickers, almost none of us look good naked when we get old.

Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's

Translation: Oh boy, look out, here it comes you ugly hags...

— really, in this precise context,

Translation: "Context" meaning boobs, headlights, gazongas, bazoombas, chesticles, etc., etc., ad nauseum...

only from about 15 to 20.

WHAM!@#@!!

Translation: I am talking about 15 year olds' breasts. I could have simply said JA's best (breast) days were behind her, or that her jugs were view-worthy when she starred in (insert movie/show here,) but no, I had to talk about 15 year olds and about how their breasts are vastly superior to even 25 year olds'.

The Nautilus and the treadmill can add a half decade or so,

Translation: Okay, if 25 year old hags get their asses up off of the sofa, then maybe I'll gracious enough to include them in my pedophilic standards.

but by 36 the bloom is definitely off the rose.

Translation: 36? Crone.

Very few of us, however, can face up to this fact honestly, and I am sure this diary item will generate more angry e-mails of protest than everything else I have written this month.

Translation: I am a Colossus astride the world and you are little piss-ants that scamper around my feet. I give you permission to be angry at me for my superiority.

** Bristols. Cockney rhyming slang. There is a well-known soccer team in England named Bristol City.

Translation: I'm a fucking limey who uses different funny words for titties. Also, I am superior because you untermensch cannot decipher anything via context.

Now stop kneeling behind Derbyshire's ass with two pieces of bread, waiting for his next "update."

LOL!

Now stop kneeling behind Derbyshire's ass with two pieces of bread, waiting for his next "update."

::awestruck::

WHERE'S MY MOON CUP?!

Well done, Sue!

hahahhahahahha

I'm so stealing this one:
Now stop kneeling behind (whoever)'s ass with two pieces of bread, waiting for his next "update."

Thanks for lumping me in with anonymous, who barged into a thread about what a fucking tool Chris Klein is to rail against the Derb for reasons I haven't quite discerned yet.

Fair enough. My bad.

Once in awhile I'd like some time off from railing against the patriarchy, okay? Let me just call Klein an overcompensating cheesedick in peace for a minute! Is that so wrong? Is that so much to ask?

Sorry, toots. I don't placate.

It's easy to tell someone else to get a sense of humor when you're making them the butt of your joke.

Uhh, you are aware of where you are, right?

Let me throw some gasoline on the flames. It wouldn't be difficult to take some posters comments and with minimal editing make it into an interiew that would even embarss Chris Klein.

Sorry did you say something blanky? I was too busy eating another ring ding and spanking my 2 inch monkey while trying not to step on my nuts.

Lighten up Francis.

Oh yeah, a few jokes not directed at the other party and it's the old "lighten up, Francis" routine.

Wow. Grrrrl power.

... two pieces of bread ...

I didn't mind any of that mooncup stuff, but this comment was just plain gross. Touche, Sue.

Your not making jokes. You've been hosting your own personal war since yesterday. You have somehow managed to take a dumb ass comment about men AND women looking better in the buff when they are younger and guys slamming Klein, yes thats what they were doing, even Allah though you seemed to have twisted that one too, about being a self-absorbed prick and turned into some battle of the sexes. Got that? Men were slamming a man and you even twisted that one.

Tell me something, if it had been a woman who had written that comment about some male pseudo star who was posing for a magazine and had said she wasn't interested in buying it cause his best days were behind him would you have gone on a two day slam a thon? Do you honestly think the men in here would be throwing a hissy fit because you said their balls had gotten saggy? You have and none of the men have yet. Most of the men are more self-effacing than I have seen from you.

I thought this place was supposed to be a spot where people joked around, said outrageous things and were purposefully over the top. You seem to think there are secret subliminal messages going on. If I am wrong I apologize. If not, I repeat, lighten up Francis.

Gee that was a riot blanky. I won't ask about your husband. If there ever was one he obviously ended his pain.

I repeat, lighten up Francis.

Physician, heal thyself.

I'm not sure if anyone's enjoying this thread. I intended it to be a funny thread but it seems pretty mean and personal.

I'm not the boss of anyone, but maybe everyone would do themselves a favor if they stopped reading and commenting here.

Again, that's not me being Thread Boss. You can do whatever you like. It's more of a well-intended suggestion.

Your not making jokes.

Sure I am. But because they are directed towards you, you don't think they are funny. I didn't twist anything. If you havn't noticed, I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable in the Ace of Spades Homo Lifestyle Playhouse. And you are the one who is having the hissy fit. So, lighten up, Francis, yourself.

Aw Jack. Drop your Neuticles again? You're supposed to keep them in their little case when they aren't -- ahem -- in place. That way you won't keep stepping on them. You could twist your ankle that way.

Whoops! Jackstraw's comment was the last one showing when I typed that. I saw the line about "nuts" and couldn't resist. I am a weak female, after all.

Nice try ilyka but you don't get away with anonymously swinging away for 2 days with pointed insults and think you can intimidate me into being cowed. I've still seen nothing that provoked this two day rag.

I ain't broke and don't need healing. Thanks for the thought though.

If you ladies get into trouble, don't count on me bailing you out.

So, you are jumping in to bail out the men? A couple of lighten up francis back at them and it's mean and personal? Jeesh, I really wish you hadn't proved my point.

No, it's not you. It wasn't directed towards you. Did I say "The women are to blame"?

Or "Anonymous poster #8773 is to blame"?

No, I didn't. I'm just observing that there's a lot of heat and hostility here.

If that's what you want, fine. I'm just saying that, based on my own experience with flame wars, it's probably best for everyone's frustration capacity to just let it go.

I'm partly suggesting that because I feel guilty about getting a ball rolling I never intended to roll at all (I hope Ilyka, for example, knows I was just goofing with the "You raggin'?" line) and partly because, well, I just never really like a lot of strife on this site.

Not that I'll stop it, again. I just don't really care for it.

Ace of Spades HQ is supposed to be a happy place, a place where we can combine our mutual hatreds and channel them against our common enemies.

you don't get away with anonymously swinging away for 2 days

Jack, I AM NOT THE ANONYMOUS COMMENTER.

Ask Ace.

And Ace, I'm sorry if I've caused you any grief; it wasn't intended, and I really was enjoying this thread, as (I hope) evidenced by my repeatedly posting in it like a spastic moron.

A spastic menstruating moron.

Thank you for not exercising the nuclear option on it--which is what it deserves, except for Sue Dohnim's Derb fisk, and hell yes I include my own remarks in that, because I am so not hardcore. And thank you for just being a sport about things in general. It's appreciated, and I'm sorry I don't say so more often.

Again, sorry if I've turned this tedious.

No apology necessary. I'm not ordering people. I'm just saying that flame wars really aren't worth the effort and annoyance.

I hope Ilyka, for example, knows I was just goofing with the "You raggin'?" line

Totally. It's cool. And you're right, it all oughtta be vented at the real enemy:

Frank Stallone.

I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable in the Ace of Spades Homo Lifestyle Playhouse.

Bitch, then why are you here?

I know Ace just asked everybody to take a breath, but What The Fuck?

Go find a site you feel more comfortable in. Nobody's forcing you to hang out here. This is the way this place is. Over the top. Insulting, but among friends.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What a fkn double standard. But thanks for proving my point again.

I'm glad I have LauraW as my wingman, to come in here and coolly douse the flames.

: )

OK, posted that during a cooling-off. Didn't see it coming. Bad form.

I'll let anonymous be the shit stirrer.

I know you aren't ilyka. That was a poor choice of words to identify anonymous. I should have said one or she or that anonymous person. Or I just should have thrown my nuts over my shoulder and moved on as ace suggested, as I am now.

I'm just kidding, LauraW. You know I love you in a pretend-internet way.

I just thought it was pretty funny.

You've never worked as a hostage negotiator, have you?

*ugh*

Bitch, then why are you here?

Fuck you , whore. I'm not going anywhere now.

Fuck you , whore. I'm not going anywhere now.

Sounds like one little lady really needs to get laid.

Hey Ace! Redeemed myself! I think thats another 50 hits a day for you bud.

You can thank me later, when you're deleting my password clearance.

You mean Laura? Don't let me stop you.

Ace, you're probably right. I think some feelings have gotten hurt. (I'm pretty sure Bart cried himself to sleep last night. I mean, for longer than usual.)

But for what it's worth, I've enjoyed the discussion. Both the ragging on people part of it and the occasional thought-provoking good points. It's good to see that there are ladies at AoS HQ who come to the table with something.

OK, Sue, if that's your best fisking it would have been better to let it go. I asked you for the quote by which you so presciently deduce that Derbyshire views women as nothing but breasts and judges them only by their sag. Predictably, you only end up demonstrating how you can read in your own desired subtext:

1. Derbyshire mentions JA's breasts and that he didn't grab a copy of GQ to oogle them -- therefore he's funny talking and thinks he's superior. Oh, the crushing analysis! Too bad it's irrelevant even if true.

2. Derbyshire says he doesn't doubt her other charms -- therefore he must be denying them. Uh huh. The bastard for even mentioning women have other attributes!

3. He says, "Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust." From which you deduce that he must find her heinous -- even though he is explicitly limiting his discussion to the big selling point of the mag ("JA's gonna show her knockers!") being overdone given 16 years of gravity.

4. He says women fade more quickly then men (something I've heard from women more than men, BTW) and you deduce that he's calling you a hag.

5. He says "in this precise context" - which at least you could recognize and breasts, although not quite bring yourself to recognize as the effects of gravity upon breasts - you have from age 15 to 20 before things start to yield to earth's pull. From this you cleverly deduce, "HE SAID 15!!! The PERVERT SAID 15!! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?? 15!!!!") Because, uh, 15 year olds don't have breasts and if they did they would clearly be sagging and even if they didn't you should pretend they aren't there just like gravity tends to do?

Get over it. He's been talking about sagging where "salad days" and "Bristols" are concerned. If you think someone's a perv just for thinking that breasts are less affected by gravity when they are new, there are a whole lot of doctors that must send you into a perfect panic.

6. He expressly notes exercise can extend a youthful appearance for years - so 25 year olds must be hags.

7. He says by 36, your youth is pretty much gone and you deduce that he's calling 36 year olds crones. Cuz, you know, 25 year olds are already hags. As you just proved.

You have got to stop confusing reading with your "psychic" episodes. The guy said: At 36, JA's surely going to have enough droop in her rack that the hype over the photoshoot is just that - hype. From 15 to 20 you get to defy gravity, but after that you are looking at the long trip to the knees and 16 years later even the exercising that prolongs youth in other departments won't affect this one.

And from that you get that he's into children and judges women only by the sag of their breasts (although even your "fisking" didn't make it there). God help whatever object you try to assemble from written instructions.

God help whatever object you try to assemble from written instructions.

Ok, yea, I said I was done...but that was one of the funniest lines I have ever read. Even if it was written by a man.

Uhhhh, so we're supposed to be nice now? Ooops.

Sandy Burger, are you just happy to see us ladies or is that something stuffed in your pants...er, sock?
;-)

Man, I'm slipping.

I had written what I thought was a witty response to Beth's comment, and right before clicking "Post" I realized that I hadn't even understood the sock reference. That's pretty sad.

As Derby might say, guess I no longer have the brains of a 15 year-old...

Outta here.
Gonna end on a good note tonight.

With a snippet.
From a lovely song.

By Mr. Elton John.

Hold me closer, Tony Danzaaa...
Count the headlights on the hiiighwaaay

Goodnight sweet peeps.

Damn. Another thread killed. And here I was trying to lighten the mood. Heh.
Oh well, congratulations on the brain-thing, sandy.

Night, Laura. I'm in too. Got some time to spend with a blond '63 sports model. Later!

Don't forget to pick up a loaf of bread, VRWC.

From Sue:
Jesus Henry Christ on a hydraulic electroplated hermetically-sealed turbocharged pogo stick, I guess you need it completely fucking spelled out for you. Fine, I'll fisk the sonofabitch for you, it's the only fucking way you'll shut the fuck up about "quoot Sue quooooot."

Jennifer's bristols.
Translation: I'm a fucking limey who uses different funny words for titties.

Retranslation: While all sorts of people use all sorts of slang for breasts, and I myself use the word titties, this person is a fucking limey. I am superior to him for some reason or other.

Did I buy, or browse, a copy of the November 17 GQ, in order to get a look at Jennifer Aniston's bristols?** No, I didn't.
Translation: I am superior to mere mortal men, because I have no need to see Jennifer Aniston's breasts.

Retranslation: While he simply stated a fact, much like saying he didn't get fries with that, or didn't buy new sneakers, without claiming any sort of superiority, I shall tell you what he meant, because I'm superior to him, as noted above, for some reason or other.

While I have no doubt that Ms. Aniston is a paragon of charm, wit, and intelligence,
Translation: I will be sarcastic by complimenting Jennifer Aniston, while at the same time implying that she is a daft bint (that's "stupid cunt" in my superior British vernacular.)

Retranslation: While he states that Ms. Aniston has many fine qualities, I shall interpret that to mean that he thinks he is a stupid cunt. I'll even use more slang like bint, because while, when he does it, it makes him a fucking limey, when I do it, it just shows how much more superior to him I am.

she is also 36 years old. Even with the strenuous body-hardening exercise routines now compulsory for movie stars, at age 36 the forces of nature have won out over the view-worthiness of the unsupported female bust.
Translation: JA is not only a daft bint, but she's an old hag with saggy tits. I do not wish to soil these eyes of mine with less-than-perky tatas, because I am above all of that.

Retranslation: While he states Aniston's age, and notes that at an age such as 36, breasts will be lower without a bra than with one, I insist that he called her a hag with saggy tits. And he's still the fucking limey! Even if I have used british slang three times as much as he has.

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff.
Translation: I will soften the shock of the upcoming sentences by saying gee whilickers, almost none of us look good naked when we get old.

Retranslation: Even though he says he is no Chris Klein, no better than any of us, let me set the stage for what I assert will be the true evil of his fucking limeyness

Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's
Translation: Oh boy, look out, here it comes you ugly hags...

Retranslation: I swear he's evil, and to get you madder, I'm going to call you women ugly hags, even though he didn't...

— really, in this precise context,
Translation: "Context" meaning boobs, headlights, gazongas, bazoombas, chesticles, etc., etc., ad nauseum...

Retranslation: "Context" meaning a specific body part, and whether or not the condition of that specific body part changes over time, like everything else in the universe -- oops, that's what he said! What I say he meant is Translation: "Context" meaning boobs, headlights, gazongas, bazoombas, chesticles, etc., etc., ad nauseum...

only from about 15 to 20.
WHAM!@#@!!

Translation: I am talking about 15 year olds' breasts. I could have simply said JA's best (breast) days were behind her, or that her jugs were view-worthy when she starred in (insert movie/show here,) but no, I had to talk about 15 year olds and about how their breasts are vastly superior to even 25 year olds'.

Retranslation: While, if he were talking about walking, mentioning the time from birth to three years old would be appropriate, or if he were talking about menopause, mentioning the time from perhaps 50 to 55 years old might be appropriate, or if he were talking about wrinkles, mentioning that at the end of any five year period, you're going to have more of them than at the beginning is appropriate, I assert through my superiority to his fucking limeyness that suggesting a time period when breasts stay in their original position without a bra is completely out of line. You know, sort of like banning Huck Finn because of the N-word: even though it's accurate to the time, it makes us feel funny so it must be evil to read it.

The Nautilus and the treadmill can add a half decade or so,
Translation: Okay, if 25 year old hags get their asses up off of the sofa, then maybe I'll gracious enough to include them in my pedophilic standards.

Retranslation: While he says that strict exercise can extend the duration of a specific physical peak, I insist that he is still calling women ugly, and lazy, and that he is a pedophile. And since I'm so good at telling you what people mean, even if it isn't what they say, I may as well tell you that if you ever used the phrase "Smooth as a baby's bottom" you're a pedophile too.

but by 36 the bloom is definitely off the rose.
Translation: 36? Crone.

Retranslation: While he says that at 36, physical peaks are now in the past, I say he means any woman 36 or older is a witch.

Very few of us, however, can face up to this fact honestly, and I am sure this diary item will generate more angry e-mails of protest than everything else I have written this month.
Translation: I am a Colossus astride the world and you are little piss-ants that scamper around my feet. I give you permission to be angry at me for my superiority.

Retranslation: While he says people will be so fired up by their inability to honestly accept the natural and perfectly acceptable aging of the human body that they will be reduced to fisking what they say he has said-- ummm nevermind. What he really means is he's better than you, that fucking limey! And did I mention that he's a limey? Cause he is! A fucking limey!

** Bristols. Cockney rhyming slang. There is a well-known soccer team in England named Bristol City.
Translation: I'm a fucking limey who uses different funny words for titties. Also, I am superior because you untermensch cannot decipher anything via context.

Retranslation: I'll show that fucking limey! I'm going to go to a third language! Now whose is the superior intellect??? Derrrrbbbbbbbb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now stop kneeling behind Derbyshire's ass with two pieces of bread, waiting for his next "update."

Translation: That's just fucking funny.

And honestly, after my divorce from a mini-penised cheating piece of hostile fucking sack of shit

[Crushingly dull unfunny counterfisk from Lord Floppydick]

Translation: My penis would shrink in fear from powerful pulsating toothy vaginas, if it wasn't microscopic already. Also, this is the best content I can muster for my blog. Finally, I need to pick up some Texas toast before I read Derbyshire again.

Glad I stayed out of this one ...

They have teeth?

Oh, and where's the quotes?

Glad I stayed out of this one ...

HA!
That was the best line ever.

I was just thinking to myself it was a good thing that Knemon wasn't in here going ape-shit medieval on y'alla asses.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

He drinks because she nags, he thinks
She nags because he drinks, she thinks
While neither will admit what's true:
That he's a sot and she's a shrew

"Sure I am. But because they are directed towards you, you don't think they are funny. I didn't twist anything. If you havn't noticed, I'm not the only one who felt uncomfortable in the Ace of Spades Homo Lifestyle Playhouse. And you are the one who is having the hissy fit. So, lighten up, Francis, yourself."

Actually, you're just f-ing boring. Not a single thing you've said has even come close to offending me. Course, I'm a college frat boy, so perhaps I'm used to ignoring the easily offended talking vags.

Well, make that, middle-aged, balding, college frat boy, with a tiny penis.

Woah, that's tough stuff.
Posted by at December 7, 2005 08:50 PM

Actually, on second thought, I am offended.

Not by your weak-ass shit, but by the idea you think I'm that fragile. Hah, right.