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« Did you hear the one about the Iraqi male prostitute? | Main | Iran's Supreme Ruler Not So Supreme? »
November 04, 2005

Madonna: 89 Year Old Transvestite

Good stuff:

Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G): "It was very brave of MTV to start the show with a transvestite."

Ouch.

Robbie Williams: "I can't believe she's 89 and looks like that."

Super ouch. Cutting a little close to the bone there, ain't ya, Robbie?

Madonna presented an award to "Saint" Bob Geldof of Live Aid and Live 8 and, good for her!, she wasn't afraid to give credit where she thought credit was due.

MADONNA: "My hero is someone who has never been afraid to speak his mind, to ruffle feathers, to get the job done, to get down in the trenches and kick some ass.

"I know first hand it's not always considered fashionable to work hard to make the world a better place because I've taken some shit for that myself."

To help make the world a better place, she then stripped down to a thong and tassles and pantomimed oral sex on a cougar.

Every day I thank the Good Lord we have tireless samaritans like Madonna selflessly working to make the world just a little bit better.


posted by Ace at 12:45 AM
Comments



I could have gone my whole life without that image in my head.

Posted by: rightwingsparkle on November 4, 2005 12:57 AM

I was lured to this site by reading some ludicrously over-the-top right-wing stuff in the comments section of an earlier post. Do I need to say something insulting or can you please now start calling me names? I prefer that the insults directed at me be somehow funny, too, not just plain vanilla sh*thead, d*ckhead or f*ckface. Commence now. Or when you have woken up.

Posted by: troll on November 4, 2005 01:35 AM

I was lured to this site by reading some ludicrously over-the-top right-wing stuff in the comments section of an earlier post.

Do you remember which post? And do you have a preference for the genre of name-calling? Your happiness is our greatest concern.

Posted by: geoff on November 4, 2005 01:38 AM

Good! Thank you, geoff. Yes I remember, it was the post about the Paul Volcker coverup, and the thing that lured me here was in the comments section, primarily something that a person called Monty said. And others, too. As for the genre, how about science fiction? But if you can't do that, I'll take anything you have.

Posted by: troll on November 4, 2005 01:46 AM

TRoll..you are just that

Posted by: J on November 4, 2005 01:48 AM

I was lured to this site by reading some ludicrously over-the-top right-wing stuff in the comments section...can you please now start calling me names?

You might disappointed like I was. I was lured here because this post was the number one hit when searching google for 'madonna "pantomimed oral sex on a cougar"'. Boy was I disappointed. I mean where are the pictures ace?

Posted by: kbiel on November 4, 2005 01:49 AM

Ooohhh - you're talking about tomorrow's much-anticipated flame war, hopefully with liberal trolls drawn in by the lure of an inflated conservatish pseudo-article. I think you're going to have to wait until lauraw (or Ace, of course) fires that thread up. At least you're first in line.

Posted by: geoff on November 4, 2005 01:57 AM

Great! Thanks! I can't wait. Just to be on the safe side I will add that you are a moron! No, wait, you are all a bunch of retards! I'll be back.

Posted by: troll on November 4, 2005 02:01 AM

The world would be a better place if she weren't breathing my air...

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 4, 2005 02:15 AM

"Do I need to say something insulting or can you please now start calling me names? I prefer that the insults directed at me be somehow funny, too, not just plain vanilla sh*thead, d*ckhead or f*ckface. Commence now. Or when you have woken up."

"you are a moron! No, wait, you are all a bunch of retards! I'll be back."

Jeeez, can't even live up to his own standards. Back in the day they made a better grade of troll.

Posted by: on November 4, 2005 11:49 AM

I guess Madonna didn't do her research on Bob Geldof, who's let loose with such gems as

"Actually, today I had to defend the Bush Administration in France again. They refuse to accept, because of their political ideology, that he has actually done more than any American President for Africa. But it's empirically so."

AND
"Clinton talked the talk and did diddly squat, whereas Bush doesn't talk but does deliver,"
AND

"You'll think I'm off my trolley when I say this, but the Bush administration is the most radical, in a positive sense, in the approach to Africa since Kennedy," he said

Posted by: ken on November 4, 2005 03:02 PM

Do you believe that Madonna even reads the newspapers? She doesn't even watch TV (according to her). She only hears and sees what her sycophants point out and then makes sound bytes.

She's cool you know? Ack!

Posted by: tita on November 4, 2005 03:42 PM

Madonna's just your everyday, garden-variety stripper--right down to the gay boyfriends. She just happens to write her own music to strip to, that's all.

Posted by: Shawn on November 4, 2005 10:20 PM

I don't have cable at the moment, so I must inquire: Is she using that ridiculous faux-British accent?

Posted by: zetetic on November 6, 2005 01:26 AM
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What? Skeleton of the most famous Musketeer, D'Artagnan, possibly discovered in Dutch church closet.
Dumas picked four names of real musketeers out of a history book, D'Artagnan, Athos, Aramis, and Porthos. So there was an actual D'Artagnan, though he made most of the story up. (Or, you know, all of it.)*
Charles de Batz de Castelmore, known as d'Artagnan, the famous musketeer of Kings Louis XIII and Louis XIV, spent his life in the service of the French crown.
The Gascon nobleman inspired Alexandre Dumas's hero in "The Three Musketeers" in the 19th century, a character now known worldwide thanks to the novel and numerous film adaptations.
D'Artagnan was killed during the siege of Maastricht in 1673, and there is a statue honoring the musketeer in the city. His final resting place has remained a mystery ever since.

A lot of Dumas's stories are based on bits of real history. The plot of the >Three Musketeers, about trying to recover lost diamonds from the queen's necklace, was cribbed from the then-almost-contemporaneous Affair of the Queen's Necklace. And the Man in the Iron Mask is based on real accounts of a prisoner forced to wear a mask (though I think it was a velvet mask).
* Oh, I should mention, Dumas says all this, about finding the names in an old book, in the prologue to his novel. But authors lie a lot. They frequently present fictions as based on historic fact. The twist is, he was actually telling the truth here. At least about these four musketeers having actually existed and served under Louis XIV.
Fun fact: You know the beginning of A Fistful of Dollars where the local gunslingers make fun of Clint Eastwood's donkey and Eastwood demands they apologize to the donkey? That's lifted from The Three Musketeers. Rochefort mocks D'Artagnan's old, brokedown farm horse and D'Artagnan is incensed.
A commenter asked which should be read first, The Hobbit of LOTR?
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LOTR is a very long story. Fifteen hundred pages or so. The Hobbit is relatively short and very punchy and easy to read. If you don't like The Hobbit, you can skip out on LOTR. If you do like it, you'll be primed to read LOTR.
Oh, I should say: The Hobbit is written as if it's for children, but one of those smart children's stories that are also for adults. Don't worry, there's also real fighting and violence and horror in it, too.
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I noticed a continuity problem. Maybe. Now, as of the time of The Hobbit, it was unknown that this magic ring was in fact a Ring of Power, and it was doubly unknown that it was the Ring of Power, the Master Ring that controlled the others.
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In another passage, the ring is identified as a "ring of power."
I don't know, I always thought there was a distinction between mere magic rings and the Rings of Power created by Sauron. But this suggests that Bilbo knew this was a ring of power created by Sauron.
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I never noticed this before. I know Tolkien re-wrote this chapter while he was writing LOTR to make the ring important from the start. And also to make Gollum more sinister and evil, and also to remove the part where Gollum actually offers Bilbo the ring as a "present" -- Bilbo had already found it on his own, but Gollum was wiling to give it away, which obviously is not something the rewritten Gollum would ever do.
But I had no memory of the ring being suggested to be The Ring so early in the tale.
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The only bad part of the trilogy are the Frodo/Sam chapters in The Two Towers. They're repetitive, slow, and mostly about the weather and terrain. But most everything else is good. Weirdly, the Frodo-Sam chapters in Return of the King are exciting and action-packed and among the best in the trilogy. (Though the chapters with everyone else in Return of the King get pretty slow again. Mostly people talking about marching towards war, and then marching towards war.)
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