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« The NYT, Undermining The War Effort And Darned Proud Of It | Main | New York: Now The Safest Big City In America »
January 02, 2006

BREAKING: World Is Controlled By Jewish Cabal of Satan-Worshipping, Blood-Drinking, Shapeshifting Reptillian Space Aliens

Icke, 48, is a native of Leicester, England. For five years he played professionally for the Coventry City and Hereford United soccer teams until forced to retire by arthritis. He subsequently went on to become a sports announcer for BBC-TV. For three years from 1988 to 1991 he was national spokesperson for the British Green Party, until he began a political evolution that was to begin with his expulsion from the Greens and wind up with his current involvement with anti-Semitism, neofascism, and lizards from Mars.

...

Icke is now arguing in all seriousness that the Illuminati plot to take over the world is actually being carried out by a race of extraterrestrial reptiles in human form. They are described, literally, as being child-sacrificing, blood-drinking Satan-worshippers capable of changing their shape, whose ranks include George Bush, Bill and Hilary Clinton, Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mum, Bob Hope and Kris Kristofferson, among others.

He was making an awful lot of sense until Kris Kristofferson. That's where I said, "This guy is just plain goofy."

There's no conspiracy theory, it seems, that doesn't involve ugly stereotypes about the Jews. I count many Jews as my friends, Mr. Ickes, and I can assure you that only three or four of them are lizards from Mars, and only one of them ever tried to suck the blood from my neck while I slept. (Needless to say, I ended that friendship soon after.) Based upon these few "bad apples," you're going to malign an entire religion?

And further, let's say hypothetically -- hypothetically -- that the rest of my Jewish friends are lying to me and are, in fact, reptilian space vampires conspiring to deliver the world to their creator Satan for a 100,000 reign of Hell on Earth. Can't we still all be brothers?

More on David Ickes and other folks nuttier than a Snickers bar over at Demure Thoughts.

More... from Right Wing News.

They're called "Reptoids." They seem to have some connection with the Greys.

H/t to ChuckG.


posted by Ace at 12:54 AM
Comments



I followed the link, and read that muthafucka. Had me sad as fuck for ages.

Posted by: Andrew on January 2, 2006 01:19 AM

It's true, I saw one of them in a Cheech and Chong movie.

Posted by: Dennis on January 2, 2006 01:22 AM

I for one welcome our new reptillian satan-worshipping blood-sucking overlords.

Posted by: Rosemarie on January 2, 2006 01:46 AM

Curses! Rosemarie beat me to it!

Posted by: RS on January 2, 2006 01:56 AM

Ohhh, this guy is in trouble.
He does NOT know who he's messing with.
We all know about Dick Cheney, but Kris Kristofferson is one bad dude.
I'm serious, he seems so harmless, what with his seeming inability to sing in tune, that kind of mumbly, stoned visage he always has...
But who wrote 'Me and Bobbie McGee', 'Help Me Make It Through The Night', 'Sunday Morning Coming Down', 'The Silver Tongued Devil', 'For The Good Times', 'Loving Her Was Easier Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again'...
I'm sure he too, must use cougars or some such wild fuck-thing...

Posted by: Uncle Jefe on January 2, 2006 01:59 AM

Ha! And you all laughed at me. Well, who has the last laugh now?

Posted by: C*d*rf*rd on January 2, 2006 02:09 AM

Talk about your missed opportunities, Ace. How about:

"Kris Kristofferson? Why him, Lord?"

:)

Posted by: RW on January 2, 2006 08:39 AM

"World Is Controlled By Jewish Cabal of Satan-Worshipping, Blood-Drinking, Shapeshifting Reptillian Space Aliens"

Yeah, like this is news.
What I want to know is who leaked it.

Posted by: harrison on January 2, 2006 09:11 AM

Crazy mentaly unstable nutcases weirdos

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 2, 2006 10:22 AM

Tell it, Spur!

Posted by: harrison on January 2, 2006 10:26 AM

Torah actually means to serve man

Posted by: Dave in Texas on January 2, 2006 10:40 AM

Where the leak investigation??
Who told him about where I'm really from!!

I want blo.., er, justice!

Posted by: Marvin on January 2, 2006 11:22 AM

It appears that Icke is just another anti-Krisoffersonite trying to wed his despicable hate of Kris K. with the justifiable, universal fear that we all share of Reptillian-vampire space aliens.

Posted by: Red Jode on January 2, 2006 11:46 AM

Someone's been at the "LFG" commentboard one too many times. (I bet Charles is letting rip a hearty BWAHAHAHAH right now...)

Posted by: David Ross on January 2, 2006 12:00 PM

I just KNEW "V" was a documentary, not a made-for-TV movie!

Posted by: Clark on January 2, 2006 12:01 PM

Are you sure it isn't Harold Ickes you were quoting? He was pretty big on warning about Republican conspiracies during the 90's. Remember what Julia Roberts said about "Republican" being between "repugnant" and "reptile" in the dictionary.

Posted by: Lorie Byrd on January 2, 2006 12:39 PM

Isn't this the same guy that John Hawkins did an ACPOTI on once?

http://www.rightwingnews.com/crackpots/reptile.php

Posted by: Chuckg on January 2, 2006 01:27 PM

As usual, the right-wing ideologues merely paint the vampire space lizards as "evil," without placing their beliefs and actions in sufficient context to give a nuanced understanding of their views. Sure, the Illuminati reptiles want to drink our blood, enslave our race for 100,000 years, and sacrifice our children to satiate their Gods' bloodlust. But attempting to defend ourselves as they drink from the spraying fountain of our jugular veins will only perpetuate the cycle of violence. We must first seek to understand what we've done to cause their desire to drag our still moaning carcasses into their spaceships as lunch for their lizard babies.

An honest recognition of our ignorance is the first necessary step toward enlightenment.

Posted by: The Comish (sic) on January 2, 2006 03:35 PM

Not only that, but look at the pressure Ben Bernanke's starting to take from Farrakhan.

Posted by: Todd on January 2, 2006 03:43 PM

The Greys are on our side. The Reptoids would probably ally with the Shadow "People". I know this because I listen to Coast to Coast. Some people suspect that the Reptoids aren't from Mars at all an live underground on space ship earth.

Posted by: Mike on January 2, 2006 04:01 PM

Mike,

My daughter used to bus tables at a country club that was in the middle of nowhere. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot waiting for her to get off of work one night about midnight and I was listening to Art and a guest talking about 'Shadow People'. I have to admit to being a little spooked. lol!

Posted by: BrewFan on January 2, 2006 04:21 PM

What's the big deal about lizard people? Fer Crissakes, people, haven't any of you ever had a pet lizard or had a kid with a lizard? Those damn things are more fragile than Detroit Lions wide receivers.

If they get loose in the house, they freeze to death, or the cats/dogs eat them. If you feed them the wrong brand of lettuce, they die. If the power cord to their heating pad gets kicked out of the outlet, they freeze to death sitting on their little fake rock in the aquarium. It's not as if they've got the power of Jason Vorhees. They're lizards! Just roll up a newspaper and you'll be fine.

I like the woman on RWN who kept talking about keeping a hammer under her pillow to protect her from an alligator-man ex-husband. Wow, and they say romance is dead in modern America.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on January 2, 2006 04:25 PM

There is no Satan-Worshipping, Blood-Drinking, Shapeshifting Reptillian Space Alien Jewish Cabal... Long live the Satan-Worshipping, Blood-Drinking, Shapeshifting Reptillian Space Alien Jewish Cabal!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie on January 2, 2006 05:50 PM

Hey, Dave.. You mean serve man on a charger?

Posted by: Bill Brown on January 2, 2006 05:51 PM

Kris Kristofferson is a blood-sucking lizard?

I don't think so.

I think Rightwingsparkle is a blood-sucking lizard.

Sure, she looks like this proper lady from Texas with a sweet family and all.

Then she shows her teeth, and you're dead.

Just a word to the wise.

Posted by: Michael on January 2, 2006 07:22 PM

Kewl. Can we have one pleeeease Ace pleeeease.
I promise to take care of it.
Don't listen to Russ.
pleeease.
We can build a little cage in the back yard and feed it Kos-sacks and Filet o'Fish. No one will even notice. pleeeease.
Bet Allah would let us have one! pretty pleeeease.

Posted by: on January 2, 2006 11:01 PM

What a sad and fascinating cesspool of delusion this Ickes fellow presides over - I don't know which is more depressing: the rampant racism and mental illness on display, or the fact that so many people seem to have this sad need to exist in a world of imaginary alien peril.

Posted by: RS on January 2, 2006 11:07 PM

OK ace, whatever....but make no mistake: if that thing so much as sheds ONE INCH of skin in my yard, I'm feedin' it to the cats. I swear to God.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on January 2, 2006 11:22 PM

HMMM Kinda sounds like calypso loui Farrakhan's so called religion. Maybe they share the same mind control frequency?

Posted by: Oldcrow on January 2, 2006 11:35 PM

David Icke now lives in my home town (Ryde, Isle of Wight). I know him second-hand (i.e. people I know know him). They all say he's a pretty nice guy until he gets the conversation around to lizards and then it's run-for-the-hills time. He hobbles around town in a purple tracksuit (he has really bad arthritis in his hip). He's basically a harmless nutter.

Posted by: David Gillies on January 3, 2006 09:25 AM

Where my phaser rifle? im going on huntin for space lizards

Posted by: spurwing plover on January 3, 2006 09:31 PM

If Ichy had stuck to his early stuff; Freemasonry and Nazi UFOs operating out of Antarctica, people wouldn't be pickinng on him so much.

Posted by: triticale on January 4, 2006 01:11 PM

HHSSSSTTTTT!!!

Reptilicus!!!

The jig's up! They're onto us!!!


.

Posted by: OhBloodyHell on January 9, 2006 07:29 PM
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