Turning long stories into short stories

How many people here expected the visit between President Trump and King Charles to turn out as friendly as it did? Somehow, the long history between the UK and the USA became just a personal visit. How did that happen?

A lot of surprising things have happened this week that are based in long stories. But some of the events which occurred during the week took me by surprise. They fit well in Ace's "Quick Hits".

I think that sometimes seeing a story in the Babylon Bee tends to turn it into a short story, too. Some of their commentary on last Saturday's big event: Poll Shows Majority Of Democrats Believe Lincoln Assassination Staged

U.S. — The growing rift between the political right and left in the country became even more evident this week, as a new poll showed that a majority of Democrats believe the Lincoln assassination was staged.

Though long held to be a historical fact, a plurality of Democratic voters went on record in a research study to confirm that they now suspect that President Abraham Lincoln was never actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, and that the entire incident was simply an elaborate hoax.

"That whole situation was suspicious," lifelong Democrat Dean Stinson posted on social media. "Sure, the government and the educational system want you to believe that President Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford's Theater, but let's be honest here, things don't add up. First of all, do you know what John Wilkes Booth did for a living? That's right — he was an actor. Actors literally spend their time playing roles and pretending. Sounds like just the guy you'd want to pull off a staged assassination, am I right?" . . .

Unfortunately, the right-ish "all-conspiracy" site I mentioned last week also suggested that the attempted assassination could have been staged to increase Trump's popularity. No consideration was given to how the suspect was recruited.

Back to the Bee:

Media Still Stumped As To Motive Of Gunman With Manifesto Titled 'Why I'm Going To Kill Donald J. Trump'

U.S. — Members of the national media remained completely baffled as to the target or motive of a gunman carrying a detailed, 47-page manifesto entitled "Why I'm Going To Kill Donald J. Trump."

The document reportedly provided a handy bullet-pointed list of grievances along with a helpful table of contents detailing primary and secondary motivations for wanting to kill the president, but after hours of reviewing the manifesto, journalists came up empty as to who the gunman may have been targeting and why.

"It's a mystery," said CBS correspondent Norah O'Donnell, thumbing through the papers. "See right here, the gunman says that he plans to use a gun to shoot President Donald J. Trump, and explains that he's doing so because he believes that Trump is a dangerous fascist who must be stopped at all costs. I wonder who the gunman is talking about here? Who was he after that night, and for what reason? We may never know."

Experts explained that the gunman's repeated references to President Trump, including a chapter called "Yes, Trump Is My Target, And Here Is Why," should not be taken as definitive evidence of intent.

"This is going to be a tough nut to crack," said CNN's Kaitlan Collins. "We're looking at everything. What drove this man to attempt such a heinous act? Was it class imbalance? Was it gluten? The search has only just begun."

And the "all-conspiracy" site is in a double-quandary, since they don't trust anyone to accurately report what the manifesto says. But this might get them going:

Forty-five years before the alleged assassination attempt against President Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner on Saturday night, a different President was shot at the same Washington, D.C., hotel.

Then-President Ronald Reagan was outside the Washington Hilton, the venue where the WHCA dinner is held each year, in 1981 when a man named John Hinckley Jr. made an attempt on his life.

ENDLESS NEWS IN CALIFORNIA

The BEE

Homeless Declare Victory In Gavin Newsom's Fight Against Homelessness

Heh.

The problem we deal with every day, via Ed Driscoll:

Bill Maher just brought up some of Gavin Newsom’s biggest failures right to his face — including California’s DISASTROUS high-speed rail project, to which Maher said:

“I say this as a friend, you got to let that train go!”

Newsom wasn’t expecting it and he was CRUSHED the… pic.twitter.com/WrlOEDlfwv

— Overton (@overton_news) May 2, 2026

More details in this thread. We do not need a Democratic presidential candidate from California next time around:

😂😂 this was supposed to be done 6 years and billions of dollars ago. It hasn’t even really *started* yet. https://t.co/T3GuAeQdPf

— Guy Benson (@guypbenson) May 2, 2026

WEEKEND

The Week In Pictures: Missed Me Again Edition

Leading the week’s news was the Democrats’ third failed assassination attempt against President Trump. Murder isn’t funny, but that didn’t prevent meme-makers from weighing in. The rest of the week’s news was lighter: King Charles visited America and addressed Congress, and it turned out that Democrats love kings after all. James Comey was indicted, the SPLC continued to draw fire, and Ilhan Omar displayed a remarkable grasp of world history.

So here we go–The Week In Pictures, Missed Me Again Edition. This week features three pirate-related memes, which must be a record. Watch for them:

Music

“Saints In Heaven”- gospel music in a New Orleans Dixieland style. This should make you smile. #worship #dixielandgospel #songsfromtheheart pic.twitter.com/AmKbTxlasj

— Thomas Land (@tomland1953) March 18, 2026

Hope you have something nice planned for this weekend.

This is the Thread before the Gardening Thread.

Last week's thread, April 25, A visit with an all-conspiracy influencer site

Comments are closed so you won't ban yourself by trying to comment on a week-old thread. But don't try it anyway.

posted by K.T. at 11:16 AM

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