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November 11, 2005

The Next Stage in the Funny Page

"Doonesbury" and "Peanuts," make way for "manga." Come January, the Sunday funnies of several major North American newspapers will have doe-eyed women in frilly outfits, effeminate long-haired heroes and other trademark images of the Japanese comic style.

The reason? Newspaper editors want to attract more young readers. A study released earlier this year by the Carnegie Corporation put the age of newspaper readers at 53 and climbing — hardly a recipe for circulation growth. [And the rest of the industry numbers ain't reassuring either]

The outfit, Universal Press Syndicate, is gonna start things small. Just test the waters with two American made manga:

"Van Von Hunter," by Ron Kaulfersch and Mike Schwark, is a horror spoof about a warrior and his female sidekick who dress in Gothic-inspired costumes and are on a mission to fight evil.

The quirky "Peach Fuzz" explores conflicting views of reality. It depicts 9-year-old Amanda's desire to become friends with her pet ferret, Peach, who harbors delusions of being a pampered, veil-donning princess.

Okay, those sound harmless. Not that crazy raped-by-space-alien-tentacles-and-evil-tree-roots manga. Quite a relief. Call me a prude, but I, for one, feel quite strongly there’s little room for tentacle rape in newspaper comic strips, even if tastefully done. (Been getting racy enough lately as it is, what with all the bed-hopping that silver fox Mary Worth's been up to. And Rex Morgan, M.D.? Have you read it lately? Sex Organ M.D. is more like it.)

To get a head start, you can find strips of Van Von Hunter here. And ladies, a little info on that adorable Peach Fuzz here.

For those of you depressed by what this augers, grumbling and mumbling yourself into some deep, funny-page-nostalgic-funk, Slate did a nice slide-show essay earlier this week on the best strip ever, Calvin and Hobbes. Read and remember.

posted by Dr. Reo Symes at 01:00 AM

Comments

Dammit, Doc-- I *want* my crazy raped-by-space-alien-tentacles-and-evil-tree-roots manga!

Oh well. I guess I'll settle for this stuff, as long as I can get an anime chick that looks just like MSNBC's Chris Jansing. Ya gotta love the Stewie Head!

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 11, 2005 01:40 AM

How absolutely typical of Stale to portray Watterson's brilliant, joyous work as your ordinary gloomy, leftist, anti-corporate rant.

Posted by: someone on November 11, 2005 02:15 AM

My wife was part of the crop of manga-ka from whence Van Von Hunter sprang, and I can say that unless you are an anime affictionado , you could probably care less one way or the other.

That is, unless you really go for anime style catgirls, in which case you need to visit the Wilde Home for Wayward Catgirls:

http://www.bewildered-art.com/catgirls

Just recognize that in spite of the fact that I am (and the wife is to a lesser extent) are Right Wing Death Beasts, we continue to love those crazy Japanese influences...

Posted by: J. Wilde on November 11, 2005 02:19 AM

For a country so small, Japan is an impressive "cultural exporter", second only to the anglosphere. (Even back when I was a kid, every girl who was anyone had all the latest Hello Kitty gear.)

Posted by: SJKevin on November 11, 2005 02:42 AM

I will always remember.

Posted by: Russ on November 11, 2005 03:13 AM

Ahhh,

You've hit on the reason why newspaper circulation fell by at least ONE. I bought my last newspaper the day they quit printing Calvin and Hobbes.

Morons.

Posted by: RightNumberOne on November 11, 2005 07:01 AM

I suppose they have to do something, but I suspect that a couple of watered-down manga strips is not going to turn the tide of millions of younger people who get their news and information pretty much exclusively from INTERNET.

Posted by: Phinn on November 11, 2005 09:01 AM

Call me a prude, but I, for one, feel quite strongly there’s little room for tentacle rape in newspaper comic strips, even if tastefully done.

What? There's always room for tentacle rape. Haven't you been reading For Better or Worse lately?

Posted by: Evil Otto on November 11, 2005 09:08 AM

There's actually some potential here.

Who here wouldn't mind to see Zonker Harris go head-to-head with Tetsuo Shima?

Posted by: Xoxotl on November 11, 2005 09:59 AM

You know, one thing they could do to get the interest of the kids is maybe try to put the newspaper on those newfangled computer boxes all the kids are talking about.

I know, it would lose some of the charm of having someone throw a sack of wet, filthy, ink-smeared garbage on your doorstep, but at least you'd still get to pay to read what people who are no smarter than you tell you how to think.

Posted by: Tom on November 11, 2005 10:26 AM

Wow. Peach Fuzz got a mention in "Ferrets" magazine.

Peach Fuzz Accolades Keep Rolling In

Kudos

Posted by: on November 11, 2005 12:09 PM

"Bloom County," the first time around - none of that "Outland" crap for me, thanks - was better.

But Calvin and Hobbes is a close runner-up.

Posted by: Knemon on November 11, 2005 03:04 PM

If anybody cares, Rex Morgan, M.D. actually has a current storyline about a badly wounded Iraq vet. It's still unclear what political statement, if any, they're trying to make.

A few months ago, they had a storyline about somebody who died of cancer after he lost his job and couldn't afford health insurance, but they didn't come out and blame either political party.

Posted by: loge on November 11, 2005 03:16 PM

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Mayor Karen is so stung by fan-made AI ads that she's resorting to the shitlibs' go-to demand for an end to criticism -- these ads are "violent" and "hateful" and making me feel unsafe because one video showed AI cartoons throwing tomatoes at me and the tomatoes looked like blood when they squished
This was her actual complaint. The mushed-up tomato looked like blood so it's a death threat and these violent attacks on me must stop. What is dis bitch, CNN?

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Funniest thing I've read about the Virginia mess. Back when they were hustling the referendum through the assembly both Senators, Warner and Kaine, advised them to go slow and play by the rules. Louise Lucas said she respected them but didn't need advice from the "cuck chair" in the corner. The gerrymandering was overturned and Louise is heading for the big house. Edward G. Robinson voice "where's your cuck now?"
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I posted his post on twitter and it's gotten 25K views so far. Thanks, Smell the Glove

Chris
@chriswithans

"Ahhhhh ahh I put my career on the line for Louise Lucas and Jay Jones thinking they'd vault me into presidential contention and we ended up costing Democrats 20 House seats and unleashing a Reverse Dobbs ahhhhh ahhh"

Forgotten 80s Mystery Click That Sums Up the Democrat Communist Party Today
Something is wrong as I hold you near
Somebody else holds your heart, yeah
You turn to me with your icy tears
And then it's raining, feels like it's raining

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"It's f**king f**ked."
-- reportedly a genuine comment offered by a "senior Labour source"
Correction: I wrote that Labour is losing 88% (now 87%) of the seats it is "defending." I think that's wrong. The right way to say it is the seats they are contesting -- that is, they don't necessarily already hold these seats, but they have put up a candidate to run for the seat. It's still very bad but not as bad as losing 87% of the seats they already held.

Basil the Great
@BasilTheGreat

🚨ED MILIBAND [a Minister in Starmer's government] SAYS KEIR STARMER WILL RESIGN AS PRIME MINISTER

He has reportedly reassured Labour MP's that Starmer will be resigning following the disastrous results tonight

It's over

"The end of the two party system in the UK" as first the Fake Conservatives and now Labour chooses political suicide rather than simply STOPPING THE INVASION
Incidentally, the only reason this didn't already happen in the US is because of the Very Bad Orange Man (who is right on 85% of all policy calls and extremely, existentially right on 15% of them)

No political party that is NOT also a doomsday religious cult would EVER choose a cataclysmic loss -- and possible extinction as a party -- to support a toxically unpopular favoritism of NON-CITIZEN ILLEGAL MIGRANTS over actual citizen voters.

Only a cult does this.

Now they've lost 84%.

Annunziata Rees-Mogg
@zatzi
If this continues Labour loses 2,148 seats tonight.

That is much worse than the worst case predictions I’ve seen.

Cataclysmic

Update: They've now lost 88% of the seats they're defending. As I mentioned earlier, I think I heard that London will not bail them out, as many of those Labour seats will probably flip to "Muslim Independent" or Green. Detroit's 5am vote will not save them.

Yup, Labour is losing 80% of its seats...

The British Patriot
@TheBritLad

🚨 BREAKING: Labour have lost 80% of all seats contested as of 2:25 AM.<
br> If this continues, Keir Starmer will be out of office next week.

Reform has surged and projected to pick up between 1700-2100 seats.

Wow, up to 1700-2100 seats. It's not incredible that this is happening. It's incredible that the Davos crowd is so absolutely determined to privilege Muslim "migrants" over the actual native population who elects them, no matter how loudly the natives scream that they want to be prioritized, that they will gladly self-extinguish as a party rather than simply representing the interests of their own voters. Astonishing.
Remember, when they call other people "cultists" -- they are the ones so imprisoned in their social reinforcement and discipline bubbles that they will choose political death rather than dare upset the Karen Enforcement Officers of their cult.
Update: Now they've lost 83% of the seats they were defending.

(((Dan Hodges)))
@DPJHodges

Reform are basically wiping Labour out in the North. It's not a defeat. It's not even a rout. Labour are simply ceasing to exist.

Nick Lowles
@lowles_nick

Tonight’s results are calamitous for Labour. Not just for Keir Starmer's leadership, but for the very future of the party

STARMERGEDDON: In early returns, Reform gains 135 seats, Labour loses 90, the Fake Conservatives lose 36 (and I didn't even know they could fall any further), the Lib Dems lose 4, and the Greens gain 6. Note that the only other party gaining seats is the Greens and they're only gaining a handful of seats.
Update: Reform now up 145, Labour down 98.
Labour projected to lose Wales -- where they've ruled for 27 years.
Fulton County Georgia just discovered 400 boxes of ballots for Labour
Update: REF +156, LAB -107, CON -45
Brutal: In four out of five council seats where Labour is defending, they've lost. 80%.
I'm sure it's not this simple, but Reform is straight taking Labour's and the "Conservatives'" seats. They've lost almost exactly what Reform gained. If understand this right (and warning, I probably don't), all of London's council seats are up for election, and Labour might lose hugely there, as their old voters abandon them for Reform, Muslim Indenpendents, and the Greens.
REF +190, LAB -134, CON -56.

Updates on the Labour collapse in council elections -- which wags are calling #Starmergeddon -- from Beege Welborne. There are about 5000 seats up for grabs, Labour is expected to lose 1,800, Reform will probably gain 1,580, up from... zero. So this would be more than that.
People claim that while Labour has adopted the Sharia Agenda to appeal to the million Muslims it allowed to migrate to the country, those voters are ditching Labour to vote for the Muslim Independent Party or the Greens. Delicious. This shadenfreude is going straight to my thighs.
Oh, and if Starmer loses about as badly as expected, Labour will toss him out of a window Braveheart style and replace him. He will announce he is resigning to spend more time with his Gay Ukrainian Male Prostitutes.

Media bias and senationalism are as old as, well, the media:

That was written by Denny O'Neill and illustrated by, get this, Frank Miller. Editor to the Stars Jim Shooter was in charge at the time.
I always thought the gag was original to the comic book, but in fact the "Threat or Menace" headline was a satirical joke about media bias and sensationalism for a long while. The Harvard Lampoon used it in a parody of Life magazine: "Flying Saucers: Threat or Menace?"

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[Hat Tip: TC] [CBD]

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