Ace...you weren't specific enough in this post. I have it on good authority that the collection of Swedish nudist magazines that has Jeff B. by the short and curlies is in fact: Playgirl Scandinavia.

So now there's a magazine for the Ace of Spade's lifestyle. Congratulations!

You were all thinking it. I just posted it first!

I think this maga...

Oh, shit...she's back...I gotta go...

tell me about it...

the Ace of Spade's lifestyle.

I thought the Ace of Spade's lifestyle was collecting welfare and sitting on the couch in your underwear all day shooting eightballs and Wild Turkey enemas.

Or was it clonopin and Val-U-Rite vodka?

Why do you hurt me so? What ever have I done to deserve such shabby treatment? You wound me, Mr. O'Spades.

I think I'm just going to sit here in my nice fluffy bed, bury my head in these giant pink throw pillows, and snuggle up with my oversized stuffed animal collection. After I've had a good cry, maybe I'll feel a little better.

Look..Jeff B. is bleeding again. Somebody get him a tampon!

And maybe a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream, as well.

Though you know I shouldn't be eating the stuff - it goes straight to my hips.

Oh Jeff, just do what Ace does whenever he feels low.

Shoot off some bottle rockets, and when the cops come, blame it on some puerto rican kids.

hard to get away with when the neighbors caught you singing The Star Spangled Banner in your underwear

Those damned Puerto Rican kids! Is there no end to the trouble they cause?

Jeff, I can send you my wife's slightly ruffled copy of the latest issue of Lucky, if it will make you feel any better.

(I kid. I kid because I love.)

(Not in that way, of course.)

Sure. You're "just kidding". Uh-huh. I suppose Hitler was "just kidding" too, right? And Tojo's antics were "all in good fun," no doubt.

You people disgust me. Every last one of you.

We need to bring an end to the politics of personal destruction which have torn apart this blog.

Look, there are people who shoot off bottle rockets and blame it on puerto rican kids, and people who don't.

I don't think its divisive to merely report this easily observable fact.

I thought that the "politics of personal destruction" was what this blog was founded on!

(They disgust me, too. God love 'em.)

Now I know why, when I approach my husband, he's always tapping, 'wos' to his friends on IM.

wife over shoulder

chuckleheads.

I gave you a flamewar thread, you all fucked it up, and now you're being funny in a different thread?

I don't know why I bother. I really don't.

C'mon Ace, you know as well as anyone: you can't force the funny. It just flows naturally from events. I can't turn the Funny on 'on demand' - I need to coax it out of its hiding place with gentle foreplay and maybe a heart-shaped box of chocolates.

Wow, Jeff B. You sure know an awful lot about "flow[ing] naturally". It's almost enough to make me wonder if you do, in fact, have a menstrual cycle.

Aww..screw that. Of course you do. You Mydol popping, ta,pax wearing, toxic shock addled powder puff.

Wow, Jeff B. You sure know an awful lot about "flow[ing] naturally". It's almost enough to make me wonder if you do, in fact, have a menstrual cycle.

Aww..screw that. Of course you do. You Mydol popping, tampax wearing, toxic shock addled powder puff.

LOL. Double post! One for each day this week Jeff B. has been on the rag I guess.

Tojo never handed out copies of Lucky, I know that much.

His colleagues testified during the Japanese war crimes tribunal that he was more of a Juggs man, really. We have a transcript of a table-talk session where he dismisses Lucky as having "no class. Plus not enough anal penetration shots." That Tojo - a savvy porn connossieur

I gave you a flamewar thread, you all fucked it up, and now you're being funny in a different thread?

Hey, you'e the won hoo rites a stupidmoronblog. Wat do yo ecspect?

If you put ot bate for stupidmorans, don bee surprise if theyrs drool all over your front steps and the dog is preggant.

I can't turn the Funny on 'on demand' - -- JeffB.

Truer words never spoken.

Finally! A magazine just for me! I'm gonna get a subscription to that magazine! Of course, I'll have to ask my wife first, and I will, believe me. Just as soon as she takes her foot out of my ass, I'll be getting the green light to subscribe away! Because I get to do what I want, when I want, as long as I ask first, and am prepared for ridicule. Someone please please kill me now I long for death.

Pssst
Shawn

Look in the box in the cellar where she keeps all the old wedding memorabilia.
She told me that's where she keeps your shriveled testicles, in a champagne glass.

Do it while she's out for lunch with the girls.