Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jay Guevara 2025
Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025
Jewells45 2025
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021

Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups





















« Counterfeiters Fob Off $100 Bills, Featuring Lincoln's Face | Main | Martha's Apprentice Just Isn't Fitting In »
November 14, 2005

Top Ten Signs of a Counterfeit $100 Bill

10. Motto "In God We Trust" has been replaced by "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'"

9. Back of bill features image of Jefferson Memorial being attacked by Godzilla and Japanese Zero fighters

8. Real bills are printed on special paper with high linen content, not various pages of The Ultimate Collection of Fart Jokes by Nether Winds

7. Corners of bill identify it not as "One Hundred Dollars," but "Hundred Buck Cash-Money, Baby!"

6. American Eagle's head faces the wrong way; also, the Eagle has a massive throbbing erection (which also faces the wrong way)

5. Real bills identify themselves as legal tender, not "Mitch's Free Money Bonanza"

4. Portrait is not of Bejamin Franklin, but either of 1) Abraham Lincoln or 2) "Ziggy" from Quantum Leap

3. Bill's serial number is "4." Just "4."

2. Contrary to implication of signature on bill, the position of Secretary of the Treasury has never held by been Mookie Wilson

...and the Number One Sign of a Counterfeit $100 Bill...

1. When angled to the light, bill displays watermark of Yasmine Bleeth holding Bob Dole's cock


posted by Ace at 03:21 PM
Comments



So, that's whose cock that is.

Posted by: joeindc44 on November 14, 2005 03:58 PM

Bill shows pink teddy bears

Posted by: spurwing plover on November 14, 2005 04:03 PM

So let's see....... get your ass handed to you in the world's most important and highly visible election, and Yasmine Bleath will hold your cock. Where the fuck do I sign up for some of that?

Posted by: Sticky B on November 14, 2005 05:14 PM

Wasn't "Ziggy" never actually shown on screen?

Posted by: Knemon on November 14, 2005 06:34 PM

I thought Ziggy was just the little hand-computer that made funny noises, and that was shown all the time.

Posted by: ace on November 14, 2005 06:45 PM

Actually, I think that was just a portable hand-held access terminal for Ziggy. Ziggy itself was a massive AI system back at the Quantum Leap project headquarters.

Posted by: Xoxotl on November 14, 2005 07:14 PM

I thought ziggy was the tech who ran the computer back at the base. Al was always getting betting line updates from Ziggy while Sam was trying to save the victim du jour (oh yeah, like Sam wasn't a freakin' degenerate gambler).

I seem to remember Ziggy showing up in one of the later episodes when Al was indisposed for some reason related to Sam's leap. I don't remember the actor's name, but he looked a lot like Michael Jeter & Kurt Vonnegut's bastard love child.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 14, 2005 08:37 PM

jeez, I'm such a 'tard. Ziggy WAS the computer. The dude I was thinking of was "Gushy". Looooooooooose shit.

Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 14, 2005 08:38 PM

Probably thinking of Gushy. Gushy was the dude played by that really frenetic, overcaffeinated comic, Dennis Wolfberg, or something.

Posted by: Matt on November 14, 2005 09:47 PM

I've found that the blue paper and bits of cheese left over from the Filet-O-Fish are a good tip off to a bad forgery.

Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 14, 2005 10:05 PM

Man, your command of popular culture makes me laugh my ass off!

Mookie Wilson? Where on earth did you pull that from??

Posted by: Kevin on November 15, 2005 01:01 AM
Post a comment
Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Comments:


Remember info?








Now Available!
The Deplorable Gourmet
A Horde-sourced Cookbook
[All profits go to charity]
Top Headlines
Nancy Mace to force a House vote of sexual misconduct report and harassment by congress members and staff. The wood chipper is no respecter of persons. Do it. Posted by: kingsman
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD Talk SOTU and the Dem's vile behavior, Donald Trump's love of country, Iran is coming to a head, is Mexico intractable, Mamdani's NYC is circling the drain, and more!
Forgotten Early 80s Schmatlz Mystery Click
Honey, I was your hero And you were my leading lady
We had it all
Just like Bogie and Bacall

Ooof, it's worse than I remembered.
Canadian tribunal fines man $750,000 for believing there are only two genders
Perhaps it is time to consider a wall along our northern border. [CBD]
China Is Not Our Fren: Chinese government posts AI generated content featuring attacking and killing American soldiers. Pay attention to the ridiculous AI banter of the US soldiers. [dri]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: Sefton and CBD discuss AOC's brilliant entrance into geopolitical policy, Jesse Jackson's demise, Transsexual Psycho Killers, is NYC about to get taxed even more? Olympic athletes who bite the hand that fed them, and more!
Robert Duvall is dead at the age of 95. RIP
[CBD]
CJN podcast 1400 copy.jpg
Podcast: CBD and J.J. Sefton ramble about CO2, how Epstein's mess has crossed the Atlantic, the future dismal prospects for the UK, CA tax lunacy, To The Moon Elon!, the NFL, and more!
Team USA Olympic Skiers 'Heartbroken,' Say They Don't Represent ICE Operations by Wearing American Flag
Then pay back all the money the country has spent on you and go ski for Canada. These are spoiled, ungrateful children. [CBD]
If you think that Brattleboro's reputation is unfounded, here is their selectboard meeting [CBD]
Recent Comments
Romeo13: "Look to central office, coaches stipends, and sala ..."

totally not chatgpt, honest: "213 [i]I'm still trying to figure out how they are ..."

anachronda: "156 [i]Gawd that fucking lying sack of shit Hellar ..."

runner: "apropos of nothing, I think people who engage trol ..."

FenelonSpoke: "And another positive story: 89 year old man fell a ..."

Romeo13: "206 201 Why should schools teach kids how to perfo ..."

bear with asymmetrical balls: "If your school needs its own police department, yo ..."

whig: "Now they list 12 Staff... which means all that mul ..."

Boss Moss: "Anchors away my boys. ..."

Will Robinson : ""There's also a special place on earth. It's calle ..."

nurse ratched : "Someone forgot their shit pebbles. ..."

bear with asymmetrical balls: "What's that? Something, something, yummy shit pebb ..."

Bloggers in Arms
Some Humorous Asides
Archives