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« Counterfeiters Fob Off $100 Bills, Featuring Lincoln's Face |
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November 14, 2005
Top Ten Signs of a Counterfeit $100 Bill10. Motto "In God We Trust" has been replaced by "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'" 9. Back of bill features image of Jefferson Memorial being attacked by Godzilla and Japanese Zero fighters 8. Real bills are printed on special paper with high linen content, not various pages of The Ultimate Collection of Fart Jokes by Nether Winds 7. Corners of bill identify it not as "One Hundred Dollars," but "Hundred Buck Cash-Money, Baby!" 6. American Eagle's head faces the wrong way; also, the Eagle has a massive throbbing erection (which also faces the wrong way) 5. Real bills identify themselves as legal tender, not "Mitch's Free Money Bonanza" 4. Portrait is not of Bejamin Franklin, but either of 1) Abraham Lincoln or 2) "Ziggy" from Quantum Leap 3. Bill's serial number is "4." Just "4." 2. Contrary to implication of signature on bill, the position of Secretary of the Treasury has never held by been Mookie Wilson ...and the Number One Sign of a Counterfeit $100 Bill... 1. When angled to the light, bill displays watermark of Yasmine Bleeth holding Bob Dole's cock posted by Ace at 03:21 PM
CommentsSo, that's whose cock that is. Posted by: joeindc44 on November 14, 2005 03:58 PM
Bill shows pink teddy bears Posted by: spurwing plover on November 14, 2005 04:03 PM
So let's see....... get your ass handed to you in the world's most important and highly visible election, and Yasmine Bleath will hold your cock. Where the fuck do I sign up for some of that? Posted by: Sticky B on November 14, 2005 05:14 PM
Wasn't "Ziggy" never actually shown on screen? Posted by: Knemon on November 14, 2005 06:34 PM
I thought Ziggy was just the little hand-computer that made funny noises, and that was shown all the time. Posted by: ace on November 14, 2005 06:45 PM
Actually, I think that was just a portable hand-held access terminal for Ziggy. Ziggy itself was a massive AI system back at the Quantum Leap project headquarters. Posted by: Xoxotl on November 14, 2005 07:14 PM
I thought ziggy was the tech who ran the computer back at the base. Al was always getting betting line updates from Ziggy while Sam was trying to save the victim du jour (oh yeah, like Sam wasn't a freakin' degenerate gambler). I seem to remember Ziggy showing up in one of the later episodes when Al was indisposed for some reason related to Sam's leap. I don't remember the actor's name, but he looked a lot like Michael Jeter & Kurt Vonnegut's bastard love child. Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 14, 2005 08:37 PM
jeez, I'm such a 'tard. Ziggy WAS the computer. The dude I was thinking of was "Gushy". Looooooooooose shit. Posted by: Russ from Winterset on November 14, 2005 08:38 PM
Probably thinking of Gushy. Gushy was the dude played by that really frenetic, overcaffeinated comic, Dennis Wolfberg, or something. Posted by: Matt on November 14, 2005 09:47 PM
I've found that the blue paper and bits of cheese left over from the Filet-O-Fish are a good tip off to a bad forgery. Posted by: Purple Avenger on November 14, 2005 10:05 PM
Man, your command of popular culture makes me laugh my ass off! Mookie Wilson? Where on earth did you pull that from?? Posted by: Kevin on November 15, 2005 01:01 AM
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Supreme Court to hear arguments on 160-year-ban on home distilleries
It's about time they took on an important case! [CBD] We call on France to exercise restraint when dispersing the freedom fighters on the streets of Paris. These brave warriors for justice must receive immediate humanitarian aid, and their safety must be guaranteed in accordance with international law. Failure to comply will leave us no choice but to bring a case before the ICJ, in close cooperation with that renowned champion of human rights, Afghanistan.-- Israel War Room [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Garrett's Sus iPod Edition
Everybody wants you Everybody wants your love I'd just like to make you mine, all mine Just imagine he's singing that to a dude. BTW I thought this was a completely different band from Garrett's Sus iPod, the Bay City Rollers.
Shane Gillis tells a mildly amusing joke; the feminazis and their gay best friends freak out! [CBD]
Our very own "Weasel" has won the Nobel Prize For Physics:
A Rigorous Investigation into the Quasi-Static Equilibration of Shoulder-Fired Ballistic Platforms: Rear-Bag-Mediated Suppression of Angular Perturbations and Its Implications for Sub-MOA Precision.[CBD]
CAIR Wrote It. San Diego Passed It, 8 to 0 .
"City records show CAIR drafted the definition of "Islamophobia" that San Diego adopted" [CBD]
Christian Toto Roasts Digger: "We have an A-list star (Tom Cruise) stretching his talents in ways we haven't seen in some time. The story has something to say about the world (Climate Change) and human nature in all its complexities." Sounds...boring! [CBD]
Nearly one thousand Roman silver denari found in woods near Cologne, Germany, probably deliberately buried in 125 AD
It's about seven pounds of ancient silver. Alas, it's not an artifact of the massacre of the XIXth Legion at Teutonburg Forest, which is about a hundred and fifthy miles away. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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