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November 08, 2005
Giant Frickin' Apes!A gigantic ape standing 10 feet tall and weighing up to 1,200 pounds lived alongside humans for over a million years, according to a new study. Fortunately for the early humans, the huge primate's diet consisted mainly of bamboo. Giant. Frickin'. Apes. posted by Ace at 01:00 PM
CommentsIt took them all this time to find this species? It's still alive today for cripes sake: Michael Moore Posted by: William Thrash on November 8, 2005 01:08 PM
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z. Oh, you'll never make a monkey out of meeee! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 8, 2005 01:15 PM
From the article: Some scientists believe that an appetite focused on bamboo combined with increasing competition from more nimble humans eventually led to the extinction of Gigantopithecus.
Posted by: lauraw on November 8, 2005 01:18 PM
Scientists have known about Gigantopithecus blackii since the accidental discovery of some of its teeth on sale in a Hong Kong pharmacy This may all be true but it really stinks of hoax. C'mon, giant apes roaming southeast Asia and its teeth selling in Hong Kong? If they find a giant Moth species alongside it I will freak. Posted by: scott on November 8, 2005 01:22 PM
"...Gigantopithecus blackii..."??? Has Farrakhan been informed? Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin on November 8, 2005 01:25 PM
Posted by: Ayes of Death David on November 8, 2005 01:27 PM
I use to enjoy watching primates. But after that chimp attack where they ate that poor guy's testicles off, forget it! Anyway, are the Giant Frickin' Apes going to be guests on Hoist the Black Flag this afternoon? Posted by: on November 8, 2005 01:39 PM
What, no fine print?! I like the footnotes. Keep them up! Posted by: slickdpdx on November 8, 2005 02:01 PM
Did you see the artists' rendering of this giant ape? Wow, freaky, man. Now I think I know what it's like to be Dennis Hopper on a day at the zoo. Posted by: SWLiP on November 8, 2005 02:11 PM
One single set of teeth does not a species make. Posted by: Speller on November 8, 2005 02:11 PM
Shouldn't there be a pic of a half-naked Jessica Lange posted with this story? Posted by: compos mentis on November 8, 2005 02:12 PM
Michael Medved will go ape shit over this. Posted by: on November 8, 2005 02:13 PM
Not Ace's fault, but this article doesn't have much new information. All of this was laid out in a book on giant apes I read several years ago. No, I don't have a life. And your point would be...? Posted by: utron on November 8, 2005 02:45 PM
This would explain Janet Reno. Posted by: The Warden on November 8, 2005 03:20 PM
How come everything that eats bamboo is anatomically equiped to eat people? Giant fangs and everything. Posted by: Dave Munger on November 8, 2005 07:48 PM
As far as I know, humans(homo sapiens) have only existed for about 200,000 years. Posted by: robert108 on November 8, 2005 09:50 PM
Hmm. A giant ape story surfaces just before the release of the new King Kong movie. I QUESTION THE TIMING! Posted by: Scott Free on November 8, 2005 11:54 PM
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BIG NEWS UPDATE NOT FIRED from anon2020 So what, she quit? Megyn Kelly (accursed be her name) used to say all the time that Fox has a top female PR person who is a nasty pitbull and leaks nasty claims about anyone Fox is at war with, including those who have left the network. So I guess maybe she technically resigned? I don't know. NEW: @FoxNews has obtained Lindsay Clancy defense attorney Kevin Reddington's appeal filing to the MA Supreme Court, which includes Reddington accusing the lone holdout juror of being "biased" against those with "debilitating mental illness", which he says is a protected category. Thanks to Mark1971
Holiday Break: I've had a rough couple of weeks -- the shoulder is healing now and I'm finally getting decent sleep -- and I've decided to take a long weekend.
I'm taking Friday off, and then Monday off, too. I have Open Threads for both days and I will post if big news breaks, but if it doesn't -- and it probably won't, news is slow before a holiday weekend -- I'm going to take a four day weekend.
Sh0eOnHead discusses the Psychotic Cult of Lindsay
Real quotes: "This case has me feeling like I'm on Law & Order with you guys!" "We literally binge true crime as a hobby, we've been trained for this moment" Worth the watch. If you haven't seen the genuinely upsetting insanity motivating thousands of women, you should watch this just to see how society is crumbling. Ban TikTok, Trump. I don't care if Barron tells you it's popular with the yutes. It is an evil Communist China op and it is driving women insane.
Dolly Parton tells the story of the supposedly real-life Jolene
As Andrew Branca says, can we see this Jolene, finally? Who was this hottie that was a genuine sexual threat to Dolly Parton? I think this is Fake News personally. When a magician claims he learned a trick from a Himalayan wise man, I don't believe him either.
Peter Cullen, voice actor for Optimus Prime (among many others) dies at home surrounded by family at age 85
RIP and Roll Out!
TJM discusses the career of Mel Brooks and why High Anxiety just isn't as good as Young Frankentsein
Breaking news: Dolly Parton had a real pair of 38s
Or at least one. She carried it everywhere for protection. This joke brought to you by Benny Hill. And speaking of the British: The Buckingham Palace guard tributed her yesterday
Dolly Parton is badgered into saying something negative about Trump's bus-board locker-room talk, but refuses to bow to the media pressure, telling the twink agitator she learned long ago to "keep your damned mouth shut"
What I'm appreciating is that while her surface is soft and sweet, she's got some actual steel a centimeter underneath.
1977 interview shows that Barbara Walters has always been a seaward and Dolly Parton always had "country class"
Walters actually asks Dolly Parton if she knows that people think she's a joke. This because Walters can't get over the fact that a show-woman has 1, big breasts, and 2, dresses a bit outrageously because, get this, she's an entertainer. A stage performer. You know, someone people pay money to see live and expect them to put on a show. She never would attack Liberace for wearing glitter-tuxedos. But she's mad that Dolly Parton makes Barbara Walters look bad through association (by being a woman). Babs, you wish people associated the two of you. Believe me, we can tell the difference. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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