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November 08, 2005
Giant Frickin' Apes!A gigantic ape standing 10 feet tall and weighing up to 1,200 pounds lived alongside humans for over a million years, according to a new study. Fortunately for the early humans, the huge primate's diet consisted mainly of bamboo. Giant. Frickin'. Apes. posted by Ace at 01:00 PM
CommentsIt took them all this time to find this species? It's still alive today for cripes sake: Michael Moore Posted by: William Thrash on November 8, 2005 01:08 PM
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z. Oh, you'll never make a monkey out of meeee! Cheers, Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on November 8, 2005 01:15 PM
From the article: Some scientists believe that an appetite focused on bamboo combined with increasing competition from more nimble humans eventually led to the extinction of Gigantopithecus.
Posted by: lauraw on November 8, 2005 01:18 PM
Scientists have known about Gigantopithecus blackii since the accidental discovery of some of its teeth on sale in a Hong Kong pharmacy This may all be true but it really stinks of hoax. C'mon, giant apes roaming southeast Asia and its teeth selling in Hong Kong? If they find a giant Moth species alongside it I will freak. Posted by: scott on November 8, 2005 01:22 PM
"...Gigantopithecus blackii..."??? Has Farrakhan been informed? Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin on November 8, 2005 01:25 PM
Posted by: Ayes of Death David on November 8, 2005 01:27 PM
I use to enjoy watching primates. But after that chimp attack where they ate that poor guy's testicles off, forget it! Anyway, are the Giant Frickin' Apes going to be guests on Hoist the Black Flag this afternoon? Posted by: on November 8, 2005 01:39 PM
What, no fine print?! I like the footnotes. Keep them up! Posted by: slickdpdx on November 8, 2005 02:01 PM
Did you see the artists' rendering of this giant ape? Wow, freaky, man. Now I think I know what it's like to be Dennis Hopper on a day at the zoo. Posted by: SWLiP on November 8, 2005 02:11 PM
One single set of teeth does not a species make. Posted by: Speller on November 8, 2005 02:11 PM
Shouldn't there be a pic of a half-naked Jessica Lange posted with this story? Posted by: compos mentis on November 8, 2005 02:12 PM
Michael Medved will go ape shit over this. Posted by: on November 8, 2005 02:13 PM
Not Ace's fault, but this article doesn't have much new information. All of this was laid out in a book on giant apes I read several years ago. No, I don't have a life. And your point would be...? Posted by: utron on November 8, 2005 02:45 PM
This would explain Janet Reno. Posted by: The Warden on November 8, 2005 03:20 PM
How come everything that eats bamboo is anatomically equiped to eat people? Giant fangs and everything. Posted by: Dave Munger on November 8, 2005 07:48 PM
As far as I know, humans(homo sapiens) have only existed for about 200,000 years. Posted by: robert108 on November 8, 2005 09:50 PM
Hmm. A giant ape story surfaces just before the release of the new King Kong movie. I QUESTION THE TIMING! Posted by: Scott Free on November 8, 2005 11:54 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
This isn't Christmas Eve fare, and I thought about waiting until the 26th to post it, but supposedly an amateur detective has solved the Zodiac killer mystery. And the horrific Black Dahlia killing. He says it's the same person! I always thought of them as very far apart in time but I think Black Dahlia was mid-fifties (nope, 1947) mid and the Zodiac murders began in 1968 so it's possible it's the same killer.
The killer, if it's the same man, would have been in his 20s when he killed the Black Dahlia and his 40s when he did the Zodiac murders. Possible. A little caveat: I saw someone snark on Reddit, "The Zodiac case gets solved more often than Wordle." There are a ton of coincidences here, supposedly, like a Zodiac cipher being solved by the name "Elizabeth." Elizabeth Short was the name of the so-called Black Dahlia. If you don't know about the Black Dahlia, don't look it up. Just accept that it's grisly on the level of Jack the Ripper. Yes, the named suspect resembles the police sketch of Zodiac. Here's a podcast with the amateur sleuth who claims he cracked the Zodiac. Daily Mail article. Link to get around the LA Times' paywall for their article.
Former Republican liberal Ben Sasse announces that he has stage IV metastasized pancreatic cancer: "I'm gonna die"
It's not just a "death sentence," as he says, but a rapidly coming one. I hope he can put his affairs in order and make sure his family is in a good as a position as they can be.
Brown killer takes the coward's way out. Naturally.
Still not identified, for some reason. Per Fox 25 Boston, the killer was a non-citizen permanent legal resident It continues to be strange that the police are so protective of his identity.
Fearful French cancel NYE concert on Champs-Élysées as migrant violence grows
The time is now! France must fight for its culture! [CBD]
Megyn Kelly finally calls out Candace Owens
Whoops, I meant she bravely attacks Sydney Sweeney for "bending the knee." (Sweeney put out a very empty PR statement saying "I'm against hate." Whoop-de-doo.) Megyn Kelly claims she doesn't want to call people out on the right when asked about Candace Owens but then has no compunctions at all about calling people out on the right. As long as they're not Candace Owens. Strangely, she seems blind and deaf to anything Candace Owens says. That's why this woman calls her "Megyn Keller." She's now asking her pay-pigs in Pakistan how they think she should address the Candace Owens situation, and if they think this is really all about Israel and the Jews.
The World Must Stop Ignoring What Iranians Already Know: The Regime Is on the Brink
Isn't it pretty to think so? [CBD]
I have happily forgotten what Milo Yiannopoulos sounds like, but I still enjoyed this impression from from Ami Kozak.
More revelations about the least-sexy broken relationship in media history
I'd wanted to review Parts 2, 3, and 4 of Ryan Lizza's revenge posts about Olivia Nuzzi, but they're all paywalled. I thought about briefly subscribing to get at them, but then I read this in Part 2: Remember the bamboo from Part 1? Do I ever! It's all I remember! Well, bamboo is actually a type of grass, and underground, it's all connected in a sprawling network, just like the parts of this story I never wanted to tell. I wish I hadn't been put in this position, that I didn't have to write about any of this, that I didn't have to subject myself or my loved ones to embarrassment and further loss of privacy. We're back to the fucking bamboo. Guys, I don't think I can pay for bamboo ruminations. I think he added that because he was embarrassed about all the bamboo imagery from Part 1. He's justifying his twin obsessions: His ex, and bamboo. Which is not a tree but a kind of grass, he'll have you know.
Olivia Nuzzi's crappy Sex and the City fanfic book isn't selling, says CNN (and CNN seems pretty pleased about that)
On Tuesday, the book arrived in stores. At lunchtime, in the Midtown Manhattan nexus of media and publishing, interest in Nuzzi's story seemed more muted. The Barnes and Noble on Fifth Avenue had seven copies tucked into a "New & Notable" rack next to the escalator, below Malala Yousafzai's "Finding My Way." Not many had sold so far, a store employee said. She trashes Ryan Lizza for his "Revenge Porn" here. Emily Jashinsky says that when the Bulwark's gay grifter Tim Miller asked why she didn't report on the (alleged) use of ketamine by RFKJr., she broke down in tears and asked to end the interview.
Canada Euthanized a Record 16.4K People Last Year
Aktion T4, now with Poutine! [CBD]
Trump's DOT Drops the Hammer: Thousands of CDL Trainers Shut Down
This is how it is done. [CBD] Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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