Well, we've already developed, or are developing, transparent aluminum; why NOT phasers?

Next, we need to requisition the technology for those kick ass replicators they had on Picard's ship.

Mmmm, sweet sweet tea, Earl Grey, hot.

What a cool time we live in.

It "dazzles" them?
What does it do, play showtunes and camp about on stage?

I am so jealous of the people of the future.

Those lazy, cosseted bastards.

Ace:
How can you be so into big guns but be anti-Hummer?

You know they worked overtime to find words that fit the acronym so they could call it a phaser.

Plus, the Pentagon 'believes' the weapon 'could be' used in such and such a way. Those guys get millions to build cool stuff on the flimsiest of notions. Best job ever.

my grant proposal to develop 'holographic porn' using similar laser technology to dazzle enemy personnel was, however, turned down by the DoD.

The good news is that the NEA will be funding my research..

That thing looks fake -- like a prop for some geek's next SF LARP session.

Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response (PHASR), you know somebody sat around for a long time to come up with that one just to give us all a woody. I am both dazzled and stimulated. I want one please.

Wonder if it works on coyotes

Actually, just so everyone knows: yup, that's exactly how we do our acronyms around here. Think of the cool word first, THEN backwards-engineer it.

Cool shit.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Dude, that's a covenant carbine.

Well, Dave, perhaps you can explain blumkin for me.

So it puts on a laser light show? Does it have Bose speakers to pump out the cheesey Disney tunes that sync along with it?

It'd be better if it was in fact lethal.

But come to think of it, "It's A Small World" has been responsible for countless suicides.

Temporary blindness, that's it? It looks cool, but for the millions of dollars of research that went into it I would expect it to be more effective than a naked Hasselhof poster.

Only a matter of time before they complete testing of the Mother Of All Disco Balls..

Air Force lab? In New Mexico?
Yup, China already has the plans, and have the added benefit of testing it on live human targets.

Causes temporary blindness? What, like a projected image of Rosie ODonnell naked?

War is ruthless business man.

"But the device will require close scrutiny to ensure compliance with a United Nations protocol on blinding laser weapons"

So in the meantime we will just continue to shoot them in the head with an M-16.

I'm glad to see the Air Force finally putting all that captured Goa'uld ordnance to good use here on Earth.

Well, they'll find a use for it.
And then someone will figure out how to adjust the power outage so it can be set from "dazzle" to "disintegrate".
Won't get as many shots off with "disintegrate", but the disitnegrat-ee's buddies will have something to think about.

"She blinded me with science!"

I think it works best if the enemy is really, really high.

Duuuuude! Hear that? That's my head! I'm so wasted!

"Dude, that's a covenant carbine."

now if only the goverment would create a plasma pistol think of how many enemy insurgents we could easily dispose of with the noob-combo.

It projects images of Naked testicle Spiderman directly into the heads of hostile forces.

It just dazzles? That's it? No vaporize option, no burning holes in objects, no disintegrations? Hardly worth the money. I want lethal energy weapons, darnit! Or at least, something that will set enemy clothes on fire, burn out retinas, etc.

I don't know about that BattleofthePyramids.
We already have the ability to kill people.

If you want some terrorist alive so that you can interrogate him later, what better way to totally make him shit his pants about American power than a fucking phaser??

We can't blind them - but parking a .50cal bullet between their eyes with a Barret is just peachy keen.

Now, if they could only come up with a way to combine that with this, we would be in business.

SWLip, how can you combine that phaser with a registration screen for the Miami Herald?

BTW, remember "Dazzler", that movie with Mariah Carey? I bet the gun plays that to the enemy.

Evil.

Zorachus:

Ha. I mean combine the "phaser" with this:

As pirates armed with machine guns and rocket-propelled grenades closed in on a luxury cruise liner off Somalia's coast last weekend, crew members fended them off with water hoses and an electronic device that blasts an earsplitting noise.

The device, developed for U.S. warships after the 2000 attack on the USS Cole off Yemen, unleashed a piercing barrage nearly twice as loud as a smoke detector....

But come to think of it, "It's A Small World" has been responsible for countless suicides.

I remember that night. Sitting in a hotel room in Orlando, after my kids had forced me to ride through the "Small World" ride umpteen times, the sound of that song indelibly traced on my brain.

I remember the taste of gun oil in my mouth as I sucked the barrel in my hotel room, thinking, I will do anything to get the sound of that fucking song out of my head. I could feel my finger tightening on the trigger.

Then, I thought, who will get my kids through college?

Cuz, Mrs. Michael doesn't make shit.

So, now I'm paying for two kids in college.

as I sucked the barrel in my hotel room

So that's what people who live in trailers call it?

Brewfan, he does this all the time.

Check out Michael in the comments section on this post from Sobek.

it's a small world after aaaall

Why the fuck should we care about some UN protocol? Build those damn things, and attach them to the heads of man-eating sharks. I mean, frickin' laser beams!...

That's no phaser, its the BFG 0001!

lauraw: You have a very good point. I guess we do need something with a "stun" setting, but I would also like to be able to actually use it in a more lethal, or at least more permanent, mode.

WAIT just a minute here.

Ace:
How can you be so into big guns but be anti-Hummer?

Ace is anti-hummer??!?

(I can't believe y'all let that slide...sad...)

New design but the weapon isn't new. It used to be called the "Dazer" and has been in the special ops inventory for about 10 years.

Yes, but can you shoot people in the back with it? By my recollection, most people dropped by phasers were when Kirk and Spock were sneaking around corridors and shooting guards in the back. Not that I don't approve, mind you...

So we can shoot them (whoever them is) but to temporarily blind them we need UN approval?!?

(I thought we already had stuff like this years ago? But I wasn't under the impression it was laser based).