big-ass Ali Baba scimitar

That was teh funnay.

Only one "football song" is permitted to be chanted at matches, and all teams shall chant the same song. That song is Two of Hearts by Stacey Q.

Oh, the irony. Apparently, Stacey Q is now a Buddhist.

I wonder if she's still a trashy-hot piece of ass. Since she's probably well into her 40s by now, I'm guessing not.

"I wonder if she's still a trashy-hot piece of ass."

What do you mean, "still?" Ick.

4. Wear not cleats, for they are the traction-enhancing contrivance of the disobedient and corrupt. Allah likes watching grown men slide their asses all over a wet soccer field. It makes Him giggle.

Really, is this such a bad idea? There's a little truth in all things, indeed.

Uh, I have something disturbing to add. Actually two things, but one thing at a time.

There's a great blog by a Saudi man at muttawa.blogspot.com and it has something from MEMRI where an imam giving actual dictates to a for-real Saudi soccer team, and they aren't a joke.

http://muttawa.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_muttawa_archive.html#112863771150975255

The other is speculation about why Prince Charles is coming to the US to lecture George Bush on why we have to be more sensitive towards Islam. Apparently Charles took a shine to Islam back in 1991 and has made several unofficial visits to Saudi Arabia. Could Charles have converted?

http://muttawa.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_muttawa_archive.html#113066896067229616

Not likely, but man that'd be disturbing if the next King of England was a Muslim.

If Prince Charles became (or becomes) a mohammedan, he will not take the throne. The monarch is the titular leader of the Church of England, and it wouldn't be cricket to have the leader of the C of E praying towards Mecca five times a day.

If he did convert (and the website you pointed us to makes a persuasive claim that he did), he's not revealing it. Good reason too: the monarch of England is the Supreme Governor of the Church of England. If Charles announces his conversion to Islam, there may be a serious movement to have him either disqualified to inherit the Crown or persuaded to permit his son, Prince William of Wales, to become the Heir Apparent.

Sean: said swifter and much better than I could (with a Britishism too!). Allahu akbar in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

9. He who shall touch, deflect, or stop a ball with his hand, and who is not a "goalie," shall have his offending hand struck off by a sword and burned upon the field to cleanse the insult given. Also, the other team shall be allowed a penalty kick. The kick shall be spotted from the place of flaming severed hand.

This is actually a pretty good rule. If they instituted this then maybe soccer would be worth watching.

ADDIDAS: All Damn Day I Dream About Sex.
Yup - devil shoes for sure.
But they make allah giggle so.

"Hot pig-monkey demon." Eeeeeek! Now I won't be able to sleep. Thanks a lot, Ace.

This fatwa has some indicators of being accurate, in which case I owe Ace an apology for insinuating he may be riding the bigot hobby-horse.

I guess people really are that batshit crazy. I mean, people are nuts, but who is that nuts?

Don't forget: instead of "Goooooooooooooooaaaaaalllllll!", it's now "Jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Yeah, yeah. Well I'm still waiting for somone to start an over-50 fat bald guys soccer league. I betcha Allah would get a kick outa that!

I'd watch it.