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August 09, 2005

Man Dies After 50 Hour Video Game Marathon

Pretty high price to pay for that "You Are Ultimate Winner!" screen at the end of Japanese video games.

failure minutes after finishing his mammoth session in an Internet cafe, authorities said Tuesday.
The 28-year-old man, identified only by his family name Lee, had been playing on-line battle simulation games at the cybercafe in the southeastern city of Taegu, police said.

Lee had planted himself in front of a computer monitor to play on-line games on Aug. 3. He only left the spot over the next three days to go to the toilet and take brief naps on a makeshift bed, they said.

"We presume the cause of death was heart failure stemming from exhaustion," a Taegu provincial police official said by telephone.

Lee had recently quit his job to spend more time playing games, the daily JoongAng Ilbo reported after interviewing former work colleagues and staff at the Internet cafe.

NAKED COMPROMISING-POSITION CAR CRASH GUY: Hey.

VIDEO GAME GUY: Hey. So... how'd you end up here?

NCPCCG: I was driving my car at sixty miles an hour getting a wettie from a high-priced call-girl. You?

VGG: I, uh, unlocked the special secret Combat Arena level and I got the Silver Key to the wizard's fortress. Then I, uh, had a heart attack.

NCPCCG: I... see...

VGG: It's not as dorky as it sounds. See, I used the Red Amulet to open the doors to the Black Mage's Lair and then I killed a fire-breathing ogre.

NCPCCG: ...

VGG: And I was totally maximally levelled-up when I went.

NCPCCG: ...

VGG (sighing): I think I've made a terrible mistake. You think they'll have call-girls in heaven?

NCPCCG: I find that doubtful in the extreme.

Thanks to VonKreedon.

posted by Ace at 02:23 PM

Comments

I just tried to pronounce "totally maximally levelled-up" in my best faux-Chinese accent, and my tongue exploded.

Posted by: S. Weasel on August 9, 2005 02:30 PM

Looks like it's quite a trendy way to go over there.

Posted by: apotheosis on August 9, 2005 02:38 PM

And again...

...zergrush.

Posted by: apotheosis on August 9, 2005 02:39 PM

Looks as if all his base are belong to us now.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge on August 9, 2005 02:55 PM

"Lee had recently quit his job to spend more time playing games"

I have thought about this more than once, though I don' t know whether out of a love for games or periodic dislike for my job.

Posted by: Lapsed Leftist on August 9, 2005 02:57 PM

From what I've heard, this is becoming fairly common in South Korea.

Posted by: Sean M. on August 9, 2005 03:43 PM

This is interesting but I am still waiting for the first death caused by having an erection lasting more than 4 hours.

Posted by: Dman on August 9, 2005 04:33 PM

Dman wrote: "This is interesting but I am still waiting for the first death caused by having an erection lasting more than 4 hours."

After the priapism has caused Mr. Happy to fall off from gangrene you'll gladly kill yourself.

Posted by: Yeff on August 9, 2005 04:50 PM

I always hoped the Matrix trilogy to end with the horrible realization that there was no machine vs. man war; the whole Zion vs the Machines gig was just another shell in the Matrix.

The ugly truth was that humanity programmed the machines to tend to their bodily needs, and then plugged en-mass into the virtual world. It would have been a much better ending.

It could happen.

Posted by: Scott Free on August 9, 2005 05:23 PM

It could happen.

How do you know it hasn't happened already?

Posted by: Michael on August 9, 2005 07:12 PM

Hey Michael, just wanted you to know that I saw a potato cannon in action over the weekend.
Funny how unusual topics will recur in a short period of time like that.

My little brother's friends; this kid built it from PVC. Stuff a potato or two (they switched to lemons later and it really smelled nice) down the barrel, push it down with a broomstick, open the back hatch and spray in some hairspray, close the hatch and push the spark button.

They set up a wooden target in my dad's backyard and I have to admit it was high-larious. The thing broke apart and they put it back together with duct tape and kept shooting, which I thought was rather brazen.

My husband kept looking at me furtively and making these whining noises; "THAT would scare the coyotes away from our yard."

Posted by: lauraw on August 9, 2005 09:19 PM

--the cannon barrel broke apart, not the target.

Posted by: lauraw on August 9, 2005 09:21 PM

Oh, and did you know that Canadian researchers did genetic testing and confirmed that Eastern Coyotes have wolf DNA? That's why they are so much bigger than the Coyotes are out West.

I've seen some in my yard that looked pretty much the same size as a thinnish German Shepherd, with a coyote face.

Hate the frickin things with a passion.

Posted by: lauraw on August 9, 2005 09:25 PM

Er, clumsy threadjacking.

Next time I'll try to be more graceful.

Posted by: lauraw on August 9, 2005 09:27 PM

Duct tape.

I swear, you could rebuild a transmission and perform an appendectomy with duct tape.

Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 9, 2005 09:36 PM

The cannon fired and broke apart simultaneously.

And a small group of 19 + 20 yr olds inspected the damage with much cussing and recrimination ("Andrew, you break fucking everything you fucking touch! What the fuck!").
And several heads popped up, yelling, 'Duct tape!'

Like baby ducks wailing for their mama.

It is the go-to cure-all of our century.

Posted by: lauraw on August 9, 2005 10:14 PM

Ace- you kill me with this kind of humor.

Posted by: HundredPercenter on August 10, 2005 12:32 AM