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August 08, 2005
Naked Man In Compromising Position Dies In Car Crashman killed in an unusual accident in Pittsburgh's Brighton Heights neighborhood has not been identified yet. Naked, in a compromising position with a woman, while driving, and on drugs? What are the odds of a fatal driving mishap? No greater than one in three, I'm thinking. He Didn't Read His P.J. O'Rourke, Alas: P.J.'s essential advice: "How to DRIVE FAST on DRUGS while getting your WING-WANG SQUEEZED and not SPILL YOUR DRINK." Thanks to the BumperStickerist. Belated Hat-Tip: Sometimes I open an article and don't get around to posting it for days on end, then I can't figure out who sent it to me. That happened here. I've had this in an open window for days. The Warden of Cliffs of Insanity says he sent it to me, and I believe him. posted by Ace at 02:09 PM
CommentsSpeaking as someone who grew up within walking distance of that neighborhood, this event does not surprise me. Posted by: Cole from Conservatee on August 8, 2005 02:12 PM
Ah! The AoS Lifestyle is catching on! :) Posted by: BrewFan on August 8, 2005 02:14 PM
Darwin alert!! Posted by: CraigC on August 8, 2005 02:15 PM
2 out of 3 chance of making it? Hell, let's roll the dice. Posted by: Tony B on August 8, 2005 02:23 PM
Pictures! We need pictures! Posted by: Iblis on August 8, 2005 02:26 PM
Life imitates P.J. O'Rourke Posted by: BumperStickerist on August 8, 2005 02:38 PM
I guess you can say they were both 'banged up' pretty badly. Even better... I take it her airbags failed to save his life. Sounds like the phrase 'don't stop' was taken too literally. Posted by: El Capitan on August 8, 2005 02:50 PM
yeah, but was he also talking on a cell phone? Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 8, 2005 03:01 PM
Dear human owner - we are pleased this clearly (judgmentally) defective unit selected itself out of the gene pool before causing serious harm to others. We really do try to catch these defective units at the factory, but the volumes we handle makes it virtually impossible to implement ISO 9000 and 6-sigma quality control over human production and maintain the kind of volume production the world demands of us. This was really the best of all possible outcomes once one of these defective units leaves the factory and makes it into the field. We hope this unpleasant experience with one of our units doesn't cause you to stop using our services in the future. Posted by: tony on August 8, 2005 03:02 PM
WTF? I sent you this same link last week. No wonder Dave always beats you to the punch. Posted by: The Warden on August 8, 2005 03:39 PM
I wonder if this asshole was driving the semi that nearly ran me over on I-80 yesterday. Posted by: Brown Line on August 8, 2005 03:53 PM
No Brownie, the truck driver was probably having to squeze his own wing wang. I've found that the secret to surviving a second-party "squezing" is to drive in the right lane of the freeway with the cruise control on. Less thinking required that way. Posted by: Dacotti on August 8, 2005 06:51 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
ANOTHER LEFT WING ASSASSIN ATTEMPTS TO KILL TRUMP
If I understand this, the left-wing Democrat assassin attempted to get into the White House Correspondents Association dinner, and was stopped at the magnetometers, which detected his gun. I guess he pulled out the gun and was shot by Secret Service agents. Erika Kirk was present.
Forgotten 70s Mystery Click
You made me cry when you said good-bye 70s, not 50s Now that is a motherflipping intro
NYT Melts Down Over Texas Rangers Statue Outside... Texas Rangers' Stadium
"The Athletic posted a lengthy article about a statue outside Globe Life Field, presenting a virtue-signaling moral grievance as unbiased news coverage." [CBD]
Important Message from Recent Convert to Christianity and Yet Super-Serious Christian Tuq'r Qarlson: Actually Muslims love Jesus, it's Trump and his neocons who hate him
Tucker Carlson Network Trump's trolling tweet was ill-advised, but Tucker is just lying when he claims the Christianity-hating President of Iran was "offended" by this. He's one step away from announcing his official conversion to Islam. He literally never stops praising Islam. Well, he suddenly became Christian two years ago, there's not much stopping him from converting again. You can track Tuq'r's official conversion to Islam with this Bingo card.
People say that the bearded man in the video of Fartwell molesting a hooker looks like Democrat Arizona Senator Rueben Gallego, said to be Swalwell's "best friend" and known to take vacations with him.
@KFILE 21m So the campaign is collapsing due to the truth of the sexual harassment allegations. That hissing sound you hear is the air going out of the Swalwell campaign. UPDATE: No it wasn't, it was just Swalwell one-cheek-sneaking out a fart on camera Eric Swalwell more like Eric Farewell amirite thanks to weft-cut loop.
This is the dumbest AI bullslop I've seen in a while: the CIA can use "quantum magnetometry" to track an individual man's heartbeat from twelve miles away
I wouldn't click on it, it's not interesting, it's just stupid clickslop. I just want to share my annoyance with you.
Oil prices plunge on bizarre realization that Eric Swalwell may actually be straight. A rapey molester, allegedly, but a straight one.
Classic Rock Mystery Click
This is super-obscure and I only barely remember it. Given that, I'll give you the hint that it's by the Red Rocker. And I guess you think you've got it made Oh, but then, you never were afraid Of anything that you've left behind Oh, but it's alright with me now 'Cause I'll get back up somehow And with a little luck, yes, I'm bound to win Now twenty people will tell me it's not obscure, it was huge in their hometown and played at their prom. That's how it usually goes. When I linked Donnie Iris's "Love is Like a Rock," everyone said they knew that one and that his other song (which I didn't know at all) Ah Leah! was huge in their area. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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