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August 08, 2005
Naked Man In Compromising Position Dies In Car Crashman killed in an unusual accident in Pittsburgh's Brighton Heights neighborhood has not been identified yet. Naked, in a compromising position with a woman, while driving, and on drugs? What are the odds of a fatal driving mishap? No greater than one in three, I'm thinking. He Didn't Read His P.J. O'Rourke, Alas: P.J.'s essential advice: "How to DRIVE FAST on DRUGS while getting your WING-WANG SQUEEZED and not SPILL YOUR DRINK." Thanks to the BumperStickerist. Belated Hat-Tip: Sometimes I open an article and don't get around to posting it for days on end, then I can't figure out who sent it to me. That happened here. I've had this in an open window for days. The Warden of Cliffs of Insanity says he sent it to me, and I believe him. posted by Ace at 02:09 PM
CommentsSpeaking as someone who grew up within walking distance of that neighborhood, this event does not surprise me. Posted by: Cole from Conservatee on August 8, 2005 02:12 PM
Ah! The AoS Lifestyle is catching on! :) Posted by: BrewFan on August 8, 2005 02:14 PM
Darwin alert!! Posted by: CraigC on August 8, 2005 02:15 PM
2 out of 3 chance of making it? Hell, let's roll the dice. Posted by: Tony B on August 8, 2005 02:23 PM
Pictures! We need pictures! Posted by: Iblis on August 8, 2005 02:26 PM
Life imitates P.J. O'Rourke Posted by: BumperStickerist on August 8, 2005 02:38 PM
I guess you can say they were both 'banged up' pretty badly. Even better... I take it her airbags failed to save his life. Sounds like the phrase 'don't stop' was taken too literally. Posted by: El Capitan on August 8, 2005 02:50 PM
yeah, but was he also talking on a cell phone? Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 8, 2005 03:01 PM
Dear human owner - we are pleased this clearly (judgmentally) defective unit selected itself out of the gene pool before causing serious harm to others. We really do try to catch these defective units at the factory, but the volumes we handle makes it virtually impossible to implement ISO 9000 and 6-sigma quality control over human production and maintain the kind of volume production the world demands of us. This was really the best of all possible outcomes once one of these defective units leaves the factory and makes it into the field. We hope this unpleasant experience with one of our units doesn't cause you to stop using our services in the future. Posted by: tony on August 8, 2005 03:02 PM
WTF? I sent you this same link last week. No wonder Dave always beats you to the punch. Posted by: The Warden on August 8, 2005 03:39 PM
I wonder if this asshole was driving the semi that nearly ran me over on I-80 yesterday. Posted by: Brown Line on August 8, 2005 03:53 PM
No Brownie, the truck driver was probably having to squeze his own wing wang. I've found that the secret to surviving a second-party "squezing" is to drive in the right lane of the freeway with the cruise control on. Less thinking required that way. Posted by: Dacotti on August 8, 2005 06:51 PM
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| The Deplorable Gourmet A Horde-sourced Cookbook [All profits go to charity] Top Headlines
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click
She's totally committed to major independence She's a lady through and through She gives them quite a battle, all that they can handle She'll bruise some, she'll hurt some too
Update to the video of a Russian soldier being spun around and thrown by the machinegun he was operating: The soldier was testing an old, archaic Russian machinegun intended to be mounted to a helicopter. The old gun was pressed into service as a possible anti-drone gun. The Russian army is generally depleted and being forced to bring a lot of old, unreliable weapons and platforms to the front.
Also: Ukranian drones have
Top Men!
FDA is providing an update regarding the sample of lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms de Mexico which was reported positive on July 18, 2026. Due to the complexity in detection of Cyclospora, FDA laboratory experts re-reviewed the sample results and have concluded that the finding does not represent true amplification and should be considered a false positive. Information about the sample has been removed from the July 18, 2026, update below. FDA has notified Taylor Farms and continues working with the firm to ensure product implicated in this outbreak has been removed from the market. FDA and state partners continue to collect and analyze product samples. As of July 19, 2026, there are no confirmed positive sample results for product testing for Cyclospora.[CBD]
FEDERAL APPEALS COURT STRIKES DOWN
NJ "ASSAULT WEAPONS" BAN/MAGAZINE BAN! Let's see if it reverts to the previous 15 round limit or I can actually run my weapons as God intended! [CBD]
Forgotten 80s Mystery Click: Northern Lights Division
Our topic today is music That's right, like 'Cause my brother and I are now experts in the field, eh Yeah, right, 'cause we're a band now Uh, yeah, so Except for him, I'm a band Aw, how can you do that? You're making me look bad You're such a Hosehead
CNBC ranks Tennessee as dead last in its “Worst States to Live” analysis. The specific reason is that cross-dressing men in TN are denied access to children and women’s private spaces. Texas finished 49th. The “worst” states were all red states. [Buck]
Senator Lindsey Graham (R - SC) has died after a "brief and sudden illness." [Buck]
The "Evel Knievel Experience," a museum dedicated to the famous daredevil, opens in (where else) Las Vegas
Well I guess they could have opened it on the Snake Canyon.
In response to someone asking why the video tape doesn't show Tyler Robinson's face (PS, it does, but it's crappy video so it's blurry):
Candace OwensFor such an "open and shut case" they have thus far provided ZERO evidence of anything outside of a criminal government conspiracy, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the JFK assassination. Recent Comments
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Thanksgivingmanship: How to Deal With Your Spoiled Stupid Leftist Adultbrat Relatives Who Have Spent Three Months Reading Slate and Vox Learning How to Deal With You You're Fired! Donald Trump Grills the 2004 Democrat Candidates and Operatives on Their Election Loss Bizarrely I had a perfect Donald Trump voice going in 2004 and then literally never used it again, even when he was running for president. A Eulogy In Advance for Former Lincoln Project Associate and Noted Twitter Pestilence Tom Nichols Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: If You Touch My Sandwich One More Time, I Will Fvcking Kill You Special Guest Blogger Rich "Psycho" Giamboni: I Must Eat Jim Acosta Special Guest Blogger Tom Friedman: We Need to Talk About What My Egyptian Cab Driver Told Me About Globalization Shortly Before He Began to Murder Me Special Guest Blogger Bernard Henri-Levy: I rise in defense of my very good friend Dominique Strauss-Kahn Note: Later events actually proved Dominique Strauss-Kahn completely innocent. The piece is still funny though -- if you pretend, for five minutes, that he was guilty. The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility The Dowd-O-Matic! The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Archives
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